Audi Jokes

Following is our collection of convertible humor and volvo one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Audi puns for adults, dirty mileage jokes or clean porsche gags for kids.

There is an abundance of volkswagen jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 58 funniest jokes on audi. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any lamborghini witze you can hear about audi.

The Best jokes about Audi

A cowboy walks into a German car showroom and says,

"Audi".

A cowboy opens a German car dealership

His business card says "Audi Partner"

My younger brother is an example of what can happen to people who get involved in drugs.

......an Audi Q7 & his own house by the age of 20.

Audi joke, My younger brother is an example of what can happen to people who get involved in drugs.

I auditioned for the WWE a few years ago

I auditioned for the WWE a few years ago under the wrestling name 'Paperman'.

I failed to get in though.

At the time Dwayne Johnson was the champion, and the bosses didn't want me beating him.

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table

I got the lead role!


Why did the audience hate the pedophile guitarist?

Because he broke a G string while fingering a minor

What'd the cowboy say when he walked into the German car dealership?

Audi...

Audi joke, What'd the cowboy say when he walked into the German car dealership?

How to audio files say hi to one another?

They just .wav

What do you call a rich brown person driving an Audi?

A Saudi

Husband: I lost my wife says to Inspector

Husband: I lost my wife; she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector: what is her height?
Husband: I never checked.
Inspector: Slim or Healthy?
Husband: Not Slim can be healthy.
Inspector: color of eyes?
Husband: Never Notice.
Inspector: color of hair?
Husband: Changes According to season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Inspector: Was she driving?
Husband: yes.
Inspector: Color of the car? ...
Husband: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 2.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight- speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door….an then the Husband started crying…
Inspector: Don not worry sir,… we will find your car.

My audio editor keeps shutting down unexpectedly while I'm working.

The Audacity.


What's the title of Audi CEO?

Lord of the Rings.

A child gets a toy Ferrari stuck in his belly button...

... it wouldn't be a problem if it was an Audi.

My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today

My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today
and I couldn't help but admire it. Nice car, I said as he got out. Well, he said, noticing my admiring looks, Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year.

How do German Cowboys greet each other?

Audi.

What does a a cowboy car salesman say

*tips hat* Audi

Audi joke, What does a a cowboy car salesman say

What did the cowboy say upon entering the German dealership?

"Audi"

A redneck wants to buy a German car.

Audi partner!

I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones.

I didn't make the cast.


An audio technician becomes a comedian

An audio technician is on stage at an open mic night in a comedy club.

He seems to be absolutely crushing the audience with witty and outrageous jokes.

At the end of his time he gets to do a mic drop.

That was the last night he ever did comedy.

The feedback ruined it.

My Texan friends really seem to love German cars.

Every time I see them, they smile, wave real friendly-like and say, "Audi!"

What did the cowboy say as he walked into a German car garage?

Audi

I auditioned to be on "The Biggest Loser"...

They told me "you win"

A driver is stopped by the police...

...and the officer asks whether he's drunk or took any drugs. The driver denies but the policeman wants to investigate further and starts asking questions:

Officer: "You see two lights in the distance, what's that?"

Man: "A car, of course"

Officer: "yeah, but what car? A Mercedes, a BMW, an Audi, ...?"

Man: "How am I supposed to know?"

Officer: "Ok, different question: you see one light in the distance, what's that?"

Man: "a motorcycle!"

Officer: "yeah, but what motorcycle? A Harley Davidson, a Kawasaki, ...?"

The man is fed up so he answers:

"Let me ask you something first: you see a half naked women standing next to the street, what's that?"

Officer: "a hooker!"

Man: "yeah, but what hooker? Your mother, your sister, your wife?"

Went to an Audiologist and got hearing aids.

Turns out all those years of phone sex caught up with me.

I wanted to buy an Audi.

But I can't A4'd it.

What do audiophiles like listening to?

Audio files.

I saw the rarest beast on the way home from work yesterday.

An Audi driver actually used his signal while changing lanes.

I auditioned to be on the remake of "Snow White"

but i was turned away as i wasn't on the short list

What did the cowboy say at the German auto show?

Audi.

Audiences used to love him,

but now Bill Cosby puts people to sleep.

A family of 5 in an Audi Quattro are driving through the south of Italy.

They stop for a ferry to Sicilia. A worker tells them to stop.

The driver says, "Why should we stop?"

The worker replies with, "You know, its illegal to have 5 people in a Quattro.

D (driver): Why?

W(worker): Quattro means 4. There are 5 of you, one will have to stay behind.

D: **HERE, HAVE A LOOK AT THE BLOODY PAPERS AND YOU WILL SEE IT'S BUILT FOR 5 PEOPLE.**

W: Nah, you aren't pulling that one on me!

D: **LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER OR YOUR SUPERVISOR OR ANYONE MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU!**

W: My supervisor is busy with those two bastards in a Fiat Uno.

An Auditor was found sleeping with his client

He was guilty of inside her trading

Someone bet me a car that I wouldn't get belly button enhancement surgery.

I just got me an Audi.

I tried to audition for a movie about emos

but I didn't make the cut

What did the audience say about the virologist's set at the comedy club?

He had an infectious sense of humor, but needed to work on telling his jokes at a less feverish pace.

What kind of a belly button does a German car mechanic have?

An Audi

Irish immigration

A married couple arrive in Ireland by way of car-ferry, and are just about to drive off into the Irish countryside, when an immigration officer stops them. "Now wait just a minute" says the officer. "You're driving an Audi Quattro. I know Quattro means four - so where are the other two people?"

The driver looks confused, and says "What do you mean? There's only us two."

The officer says "You can't pull the wool over my eyes. Quattro means four. You're supposed to have four people in this vehicle."

After some back-and-forth, the driver has had enough, and finally says "Look, this is silly. It's just the two of us. Can I speak to your superior?"

"I'd let you talk to him" says the Irish immigration officer. "But he's busy over there, dealing with two guys in a Fiat Uno."

What's Matthew McConaughey's favourite car?

An Audi R8, R8, R8

The audible adverts are telling me to feel every word...

But that would make me a literal sex offender

Why did the Audi driver wave when he was let in?

Because he wasn't driving a BMW.

A cowboy walks into a German car convention...

He sees a beautiful woman, walks up to her and says, "Audi"

What's Clint Eastwoods favourite make of car?

Audi, partner.

My audio engineer messed up my tracks.

He's gonna get a lot of FLAC for it.

Why do audio engineers only count to 2?

Because you lift on 3.

there are 2 reasons why I dont take my GF on a long ride with Audi R8

Firstly, i have no GF and secondly I have no Audi R8.

What did the German car say before driving off?

I'm Audi!

Was auditioning a gutiar player for my thrash metal band the other day and he gave me his phone number.

His number was (000)-000-0000.

I auditioned for a role in Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Unfortunately, I was a white male.

What did the audio visual cable say when it got 80% on its final?

HDMI

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

What did the audiophile premature ejaculator say when he arrived at the scene of the emergency?

"I came as soon as I heard!"

Two auditors came to my house today.

I said I wouldn't pay them taxes because my money was my own.

Then they told me it was all the irs.

I tried to audition for the part of a tree in a school play...

But they told me my acting was wooden.

What does a German say at a Dude Ranch?

AUDI.

What type of media is Cab Calloway most known for?

Au-di Au-di audio

What is the most popular car for people with protruding bellybuttons?

Audi

what did the guy leaving in his Audi say?

*Audios*

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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