The Best 58 Audi Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Audi jokes. There are some audi volvo jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these audi porsche puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Audi Jokes and Puns

What did the audiophile premature ejaculator say when he arrived at the scene of the emergency?

"I came as soon as I heard!"

Five guys in an Audi Quattro...

...arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian customs officer stops them and says,

"It'sa illegal to puta five people in a Quattro."

"What are you talking about?" the driver asked.

"Quattro meansa four, and you are five-a people."

"Quattro is just the name of the car."

"Don'ta think you can fool me! Quattro meansa four and you are five-a people, you are breakinga the law."

"You idiot! Call your supervisor, I need to speak with someone with more intelligence!"

"He can'ta come."

"Why not?"

"He'sa busy witha two guys in an Uno."

What's the title of Audi CEO?

Lord of the Rings.

Audi joke, What's the title of Audi CEO?

What did the cowboy say at the German auto show?


What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast


Audible be sponsoring so many YouTube channels you could go to " " and type in any word you want and it would give you a free book

I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones.

I didn't make the cast.

Audi joke, I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones.

What did the cowboy say as he walked into a German car garage?


What do you call a rich brown person driving an Audi?

A Saudi

Why did the audience hate the pedophile guitarist?

Because he broke a G string while fingering a minor

What kind of a belly button does a German car mechanic have?

An Audi

You can explore audi convertible reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean audi mileage dad jokes. There are also audi puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the audio visual cable say when it got 80% on its final?


A cowboy opens a German car dealership

His business card says "Audi Partner"

A cowboy walks into a German car convention...

He sees a beautiful woman, walks up to her and says, "Audi"

What's Clint Eastwoods favourite make of car?

Audi, partner.

A child gets a toy Ferrari stuck in his belly button...

... it wouldn't be a problem if it was an Audi.

Audi joke, A child gets a toy Ferrari stuck in his belly button...

I auditioned for a role in Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Unfortunately, I was a white male.

there are 2 reasons why I dont take my GF on a long ride with Audi R8

Firstly, i have no GF and secondly I have no Audi R8.

What did the cowboy say upon entering the German dealership?


What do audiophiles like listening to?

Audio files.

The audible adverts are telling me to feel every word...

But that would make me a literal sex offender

My girlfriend wanted to act out a scene from Fifty Shades of Grey

It was the scene where Christian wanted to buy Anastasia a new Audi...

What'd the cowboy say when he walked into the German car dealership?


I wanted to buy an Audi.

But I can't A4'd it.

A cowboy walks into a German car showroom and says,


I auditioned to be on "The Biggest Loser"...

They told me "you win"

I tried to audition for a movie about emos

but I didn't make the cut

What did the audience say about the virologist's set at the comedy club?

He had an infectious sense of humor, but needed to work on telling his jokes at a less feverish pace.

My Texan friends really seem to love German cars.

Every time I see them, they smile, wave real friendly-like and say, "Audi!"

Why do audio engineers only count to 2?

Because you lift on 3.

My audio engineer messed up my tracks.

He's gonna get a lot of FLAC for it.

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table

I got the lead role!

How to audio files say hi to one another?

They just .wav

My audio editor keeps shutting down unexpectedly while I'm working.

The Audacity.

What's Matthew McConaughey's favourite car?

An Audi R8, R8, R8

Went to an Audiologist and got hearing aids.

Turns out all those years of phone sex caught up with me.

My younger brother is an example of what can happen to people who get involved in drugs. Audi Q7 & his own house by the age of 20.

An Auditor was found sleeping with his client

He was guilty of inside her trading

At the audition for the composers movie, why did Stallone say he'd be Beethoven?

Because Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach!"

My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today

My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today
and I couldn't help but admire it. Nice car, I said as he got out. Well, he said, noticing my admiring looks, Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year.

I auditioned to be on the remake of "Snow White"

but i was turned away as i wasn't on the short list

I saw the rarest beast on the way home from work yesterday.

An Audi driver actually used his signal while changing lanes.

I tried to audition for the part of a tree in a school play...

But they told me my acting was wooden.

Audiences used to love him,

but now Bill Cosby puts people to sleep.

Why did the Audi driver wave when he was let in?

Because he wasn't driving a BMW.

A redneck wants to buy a German car.

Audi partner!

Two auditors came to my house today.

I said I wouldn't pay them taxes because my money was my own.

Then they told me it was all the irs.

what did the guy leaving in his Audi say?


Someone bet me a car that I wouldn't get belly button enhancement surgery.

I just got me an Audi.

An audio technician becomes a comedian

An audio technician is on stage at an open mic night in a comedy club.

He seems to be absolutely crushing the audience with witty and outrageous jokes.

At the end of his time he gets to do a mic drop.

That was the last night he ever did comedy.

The feedback ruined it.

Was auditioning a gutiar player for my thrash metal band the other day and he gave me his phone number.

His number was (000)-000-0000.

What did the German car say before driving off?

I'm Audi!

How do German Cowboys greet each other?


I auditioned for the WWE a few years ago

I auditioned for the WWE a few years ago under the wrestling name 'Paperman'.

I failed to get in though.

At the time Dwayne Johnson was the champion, and the bosses didn't want me beating him.

What does a a cowboy car salesman say

*tips hat* Audi

I rear ended an Audi the other day

Now it's an Innie

What type of belly button does a car have?

An Audi.

Eh, the audio book was good.

But it wasn't really a page turner.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the audi volkswagen jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working audi lamborghini piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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