Attributable Jokes
24 attributable jokes and hilarious attributable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about attributable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Attributable Short Jokes
Short attributable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The attributable humour may include short jokes also.
- There four things we simply cannot choose in this life 1. Our parents
2. Our nationality
3. Our physical attributes
4. The Russian president - On an average, Women live 2 years more than men. Another classic male attribute. Always finishing before women.
- I got approached on a dating website by a midget I asked her what she felt her best attribute was.
She responded "I'm really down to earth." - The attribute I most look for in a woman is peanut butter legs... smooth and easy to spread.
- Ugly Baby I was ugly when I was a baby... So ugly, my mother breast fed me through a straw.
- Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested? He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.
- "There's nothing I hate more than a self-aware narcissist." *-Attributed to Rubber_Not_Glue*
- Flynn's Corollary to Hanlon's Razor Never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately explained by re-election.
- Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf h**..., 1945
- What does a p**...'s resume list as her top attribute? She's a consummate professional.
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Attributable One Liners
Which attributable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with attributable? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What is a Skunk's greatest attribute? Instinct
- Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.
- What was h**...'s best attribute as a student? Concentration
Attributable Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about attributable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make attributable pranks.
Britain's oldest woman turned 114 today
When asked the secret of her longevity, she attributed it to taking a walk at midnight every night. When quizzed on whether she was concerned about the increase in muggings in recent years, she said that she was not, and would continue mugging people as long as her health holds out.
I made up a new word today...
"Plagiarism"
Side note: my son was assigned in class to make up a new word, definition, etc. He turned in "Plagiarism", teacher gave him a smile and full credit.
Also, this joke is totally original and not stolen without attribution.
A man has a booth at a fair with a talking cat...
A woman walks up and asks, "Can your cat really talk?"
The man turns to the cat and asks, "Which leader is attributed to the most deaths in human history?"
The cat says, "Mao."
The woman, who is annoyed by this ruse, walks away.
The cat turns to the man and asks, "Should I have said Genghis Khan?"
Measure of Attributes
Endurance is being able withstand having tomatoes thrown at you
Strength is being able to throw a heavy tomato
Agility is being able to dodge thrown tomatoes
Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato-based fruit salad.
A dad takes his special needs son to soccer tryouts.
After his son fails at shooting, passing and set pieces, the coach approaches the father and says, "are you sure your son is cut out for this?"
The father replies, "you haven't seen his best attribute yet."
"What's that?"
"Dribbling."
Determination. Precision. Focus. Accuracy.
All attributes I have while shaving my p**... that I should really put into other aspects of my life.
I said to Ella Mae after observing her physical attributes, "You're just oozing s**.... I guess when a guy's with you he comes quick."
Then she said, "A lot of them tell me, 'Don't Move!'"
Dave went in a public toilet to make his bussines when next to him comes a black man.
Really impresed by the man's attributes he could not not ask him:
How come that you black men have a really big whiney?
The guy, offended by the racial stereotype, replied:
Well, every morning I smash it as much as I can on the table. In two week it grows almost a centimeter.
"Cool" ! Though Dave.
After cirka three week Dave meet again the guy and asked him:
Hello ! I've been looking for you! I've did what you said but it's not working really well. I mean the color is there but it's not growing at all...