1 out of 3 million has the potential to be a human being
That way, if it ever gets leaked online, Disney attorneys will have them all taken down.
A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, May I help you?
The farmer said, Yeah. I want to get one of those dee-vorces.
The attorney asked, Well, do you have any grounds?
The farmer replied, Yeah. I got about 140 acres.
The attorney said, No, you don't understand. Do you have a case?
The farmer said, No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere.
The attorney said, No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?
The farmer said, Yeah, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere.
The attorney said, No, sir, I mean do you have a suit?
The farmer said, Yessir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.
The exasperated attorney said, Well, sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?
The farmer said, No, sir, we both get up about 4:30.
Finally, the attorney asked, Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?
And the farmer replied, Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her!
None of them can pass the Bar.
Their only job is to get you off.
I hate it when the at-laws come to visit.
"It's always a win-win with us!"
There's always a couple of attorneys trying to contest it.
Lawsuits!
Their only job is to get you off...
A traffic court judge found himself facing two attorneys, both of whom he knew very well. Both were charged with speeding violations. "Gentlemen," he said, "I could not be truly objective in either of your cases, so I'm going to let you judge each other's case." Both Lawyers agreed. Attorney Number One climbed to the bench. "You are charged with driving 40 in a 25 mph zone. How do you plead?" he asked Attorney Number Two. "Guilty," was the response. "I fine you $50," said Number Two. Then they exchanged places. "You are charged with driving 40 in a 25 mph zone," said Number Two. "What is your plea?" "Guilty," said Number one. "Then I fine you $200," said Number Two. "Hey! That's unfair," said the first. "I fined you only $50." "Yes," was the reply, "but there is too much speeding going on. This is the second case we've had like that today"
Everyone hates them until you need one.
Because they are very good at protracting all the angles.
A good start.
And for 10,000 dead attorneys?
A new hope.
The Jews pass and become successful attorneys
Not enough cement
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