The Best 12 Attorneys Jokes

Following is our collection of Attorneys jokes which are very funny. There are some attorneys plaintiff jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these attorneys prosecutor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

What do attorneys and sperm have in common?

1 out of 3 million has the potential to be a human being

Tip: when making a sex tape, play Disney music in the background.

That way, if it ever gets leaked online, Disney attorneys will have them all taken down.

A farmer walked into an attorneys office...



A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, May I help you?

The farmer said, Yeah. I want to get one of those dee-vorces.

The attorney asked, Well, do you have any grounds?

The farmer replied, Yeah. I got about 140 acres.

The attorney said, No, you don't understand. Do you have a case?

The farmer said, No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere.

The attorney said, No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?

The farmer said, Yeah, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere.

The attorney said, No, sir, I mean do you have a suit?

The farmer said, Yessir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.

The exasperated attorney said, Well, sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?

The farmer said, No, sir, we both get up about 4:30.

Finally, the attorney asked, Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?

And the farmer replied, Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her!

Why are there no Irish attorneys?

None of them can pass the Bar.

My wife's parents are both attorneys.

I hate it when the at-laws come to visit.


What do attorneys wear to court?

Lawsuits!

Where there's a will...

There's always a couple of attorneys trying to contest it.

Nguyen and Nguyen, Attorneys at Law

"It's always a win-win with us!"

criminal defense attorneys are like whores

Their only job is to get you off...

Government and attorneys are the same.

Everyone hates them until you need one.

What is the official name for 1,000 dead attorneys at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

And for 10,000 dead attorneys?

A new hope.

Top Attorneys Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore attorneys crimes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean attorneys barrister dad jokes. There are also attorneys puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do geometrists make good trial attorneys?

Because they are very good at protracting all the angles.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the attorneys prosecution jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working attorneys a mafia attorney piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes