Attention Grabbing Jokes
20 attention grabbing jokes and hilarious attention grabbing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about attention grabbing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Attention Grabbing Short Jokes
Short attention grabbing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The attention grabbing humour may include short grabbing jokes also.
- How is a great essay like a Catholic girl's skirt? A great essay should be long enough to cover all the important parts, but short enough to grab your attention
- 20 AMAZING Reasons Click Bait Still Works! 1. People are s**... enough to click things that grab their attention.
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Attention Grabbing One Liners
Which attention grabbing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with attention grabbing? I can suggest the ones about eye catching and attractive.
- What's the most attention grabbing way to advertise a political candidate? Poll dancing
- To run for president, which part of a woman must you grab? Their attention.
- How do you grab the attention of a Jew? You ask that Jew to lend you their ears.
Attention Grabbing Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about attention grabbing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paying attention jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make attention grabbing pranks.
A tough guy walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash.
When he has everyone's attention, he grabs the alligator by the mouth, opens it, and let's it chomp down on his c**.... He counts to ten, then hits the gator on the head with a beer bottle and it lets go. When the applause dies down, he offers $1,000 to anyone that can do that . The bar is dead quiet, and finally a little old lady raises her hand. I'll try it...but just don't hit me that hard on the head with the beer bottle .
First attempt at writing a joke!
I started a new job this week.
On my first day it was my co-worker Frank's birthday; we gathered around his desk to sing happy birthday and share a cake.
Just as we finished singing the office door slammed open.
In strides a creature: upper body of a man, lower body of a horse. He screams LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY and proceeds to grab Frank's cake and gallop out of the office with it.
I was dumbfounded but my new colleagues just rolled their eyes: "oh thats just Bill" they said "always the Centaur of attention."
THE GOVINATOR
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
Guy walks into a bar
Grabs a seat and orders a whiskey double, neat. The bartender prepares his drink with great delicacy and brings it right over. The gentleman reaches into his blazer searching frantically. This catches the bartenders attention so he monitors the patron out the corner of his eye. Finally the man finds what he's looking for and sighs a sigh of relief. He pulls out a straw and takes a sip of his whiskey. The perplexed bartender grabs his attention "I'm terribly sorry sir, was your glass dirty?" To which the man replies surprised "oh no no everything's fine! I just promised my wife I'd never put my lips on another glass of whiskey again." 😳
A housewife comes running from the kitchen and grabs her husband
"We have to make love right this moment," she declares, pulling his clothes off.
Not one to waste an opportunity, the man stands at attention and gets to work.
After the deed is done, the man says, "That was pretty good. But why all of a sudden?."
"Oh," the wife replies, "my egg timer is broken."
After yoga class, everyone was feeling a bit hungry
...so we all agreed to go grab a bite together but as we went to invite our instructor, he was in such a deep trance that his only response was a long drawn "ohm" constant throughout his breathing.
We tried for a good twenty minutes before finally his eyes rolled opened and his smile shined brightly
Now that we had finally gotten his attention, we told him the plan:
"We're all going to leave and grab a bite to eat, would you like to come with us and join in?"
He took in a large, deep breath before quietly responding:
"Namaste"
A man is walking in the desert when he hears a sound...
"36. 36. 36. 36."
He follows the sound and finds a man walking around a well repeating this number with a robotic voice and step and a crazy look.
He shouts "Hello!" but the man doesn't respond and just keeps going on...
"36. 36. 36."
He moves closer and says hello again but the man doesn't respond.
"36. 36. 36."
He's almost next to him now, and the man tries to touch his shoulder to get his attention. Immediately the other man grabs his arm, pulls him and throws him into the deep well, and then keeps going around like nothing happened.
"37. 37. 37..."
Two men are sitting at a bar when a news report comes on...
The TV grabs the men's attention as the reporter begins taking about a man standing on a bridge threatening to jump. The first man, having a taste for gallows humor, bets the second man $10 that he'll jump. The second man agrees and they continue drinking and watching the TV. About 10 minutes later the man jumps of the bridge, and the second man at the bar begins to take out his wallet.
"No, no," says the first man,"I saw the report earlier tonight, I knew he was going to jump the whole time."
"I saw it too," says the second man "I just didn't think he was s**... enough to do it again.
A man was at the bar one night...
He had a few too many when he saw three obese girls come up to the bartender and order some drinks. The man noticed they had strong accents, which grabbed his attention.
The women were there for a while and were quite loud and a bit rude. Feeling rather buzzed, the man looked over to the girls and said "Hi, um, are you girls from Scotland?" One of them spoke up, with a loud, n**... attitude and said "It's WALES you idiot!!!"
The man apologized with a little slur and said "I'm so sorry, are you Whales from Scotland?'
Embarrassing Trip to the Local Swimming Pool
A young lady was swimming at a swimming pool and was having a great time burning calories and keeping fit.
To her horror, she found that her swimsuit had torn open at the bottom leaving her lady bits exposed.
Using her hands to cover up her modesty, she stealthily exited the pool by the side and grabbed a nearby sign to cover up.
This somehow got her more attention, and she looked down at the sign.
**"Depth 1.8metres"**
Slightly embarrassed, she got rid of that sign and quickly grabbed another.
More stares came her way...the sign read:
**"Men's entrance"**
She could feel her face getting redder by the moment, threw away the sign and grabbed the last one she could grab.
Practically everyone was looking at her now, if not for the spectacle she was causing, but also for what was now on that sign.
**"Repairs ongoing, please enter by the back"**
Sherlock Holmes and his trusty associate Dr. John Watson are strolling leisurely through London's botanical gardens. (OC)
They are investigating the mysterious disappearance of a botanist who specialized in arboreal citrus.
Watson squints, focusing his gaze on something across the gardens. He gasps in surprise and grabs Sherlock's arm. He points at the thing that has captivated his attention and asks "Sherlock, is that a lime tree?"
Sherlock offers a pleasant chuckle and turns to Watson slowly, taking a slow drag from his tar-black pipe. After exhaling the blue-grey smoke into the moist air of the gardens, he says:
It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson.
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas.
She’s down to her last $50.
Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?"
He walks away.
Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table.
Thinking maybe she’d won, he rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd.
The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
The man is stunned.
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don’t know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"