Attendants Jokes

Following is our collection of plane humor and cockpit one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Attendants puns for adults, dirty waiters jokes or clean housekeepers gags for kids.

There is an abundance of estonian jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 13 funniest jokes on attendants. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any seats witze you can hear about attendants.

The Best jokes about Attendants

Gorilla Encounter

Two gay guys are at the Zoo. They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this.

One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.

An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"

"AM I HURT?" he shouts. "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called! He hasn't written!"

A group of engineering proffesors got in a plane...

Before closing the doors, the flight attendants told them that the plane had been built by their own students. Scared, all of the teachers ran out of the plane, except one. The pilot came to him and asked him why he was so relaxed. The proffesor said "I know my students very well. And I'm sure that if this plane is really built by them, the thing won't even start!"

Engineering professors and their students.....

A group of engineering professors boarded a plane to a conference.
After they are all seated, the flight attendants announce that their students were the ones that built the plane they were sitting in. The professors jump out of their seats and run to the door in a panic.
When they notice one weird looking professor stayed seated, they ask him "why are you so calm right now?"
He answers "I know my students well. If they really did build this plane, I can say with 100% certainty that it will never even start."

[NSFW] A man has a pet duck...

The man tries to take his duck to go watch a movie

However, the theatre attendants forbid the man from taking his pet duck inside the cinema.

The man does not get discoraged and decides to sneak in his duck by placing it in his pants.

He successfully makes it inside the cinema with his duck and sits besides two women.

The man then remembers that the duck has to breathe and so he pulls down his pant's zipper so the duck may breathe .

Once the movie starts one of the women besides the man tells the other woman, "That man's *thing* is showing..."

To this the other woman replies , "What's the matter? Have you not seen one before?"

The other woman answered, "Yes, but this one is eating my popcorn!"

A joke from one of my friends who's an airline pilot

So he often says, right before take off "Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to thank you for choosing Jet Blue and would also like to thank the wonderful flight attendants for their professionalism and dedication to trying to make your flight as safe and comfortable as possible. However, you won't find any of those people on this flight. So sit back and please fasten your seat belts as we will shortly begin our ascent"

Descartes Takes a Flight

The flight attendants says, "M. Descartes, would you care for a cocktail?" Descartes says, "I think not," and disappears.

For some reason, Spanish-speaking visitors to Britain think we worship flight attendants...

I suppose it's understandable given that our national airline is called British HΓ©roes.

A Chinese man boarded a flight to Chicago and promptly sat down on the first seat he encountered.

He was soon told that seat was reserved for flight attendants. With his limited English he did not fully understand what he was told but hand signals soon got him to move a little further back.

Soon there was another person persuading him to move out of first class. Again he moved further back.

There was yet another discussion and he took no further chances and went to the very last seat in the tourist section.

Some time later a flight attendant asked him if he was 'For Coffee!'

Furious he replied, "You foh coffee, I stayah hee."

Ugly Baby

There's a woman flying on a plane with her baby. And one of the other passengers starts making fun of this woman's baby, going on and on about how ugly he is. Eventually, one of the flight attendants hears this.
"Shame on you, saying such nasty things as that" she says to the rude passenger, before turning to the woman. "Ma'm, on behalf of American Airlines I'd like to apologize for that unpleasantness. We will give you a complementary meal for your troubles, and I'll see if I can get a banana for your monkey."

[I know it's an old joke but I only found one version (a different one with a racist joke) on this sub]

I decided to leave work an hour early today.

The flight attendants started freaking out when I grabbed my parachute though.

I'm glad that flight attendants are never obese.

So pilots have only one option for a soft landing.

I walked up to one of the zoo attendants.

"Where do you keep your monkeys?" I asked him.

He said, "I don't own any monkeys."

What do flight attendants and priests have in common?

They both get annoyed when the kid starts screaming.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes