The Best 23 Attendance Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Attendance jokes. There are some attendance presence jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these attendance turnout puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Attendance Jokes and Puns

A young artist exhibits his work for the first time...

.. and a well known art critic is in attendance.

The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"

"Yes, " says the artist.

"It's worthless," says the critic

The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."

Everyone is talking about how the inaugural attendance was 1/40 of what it was in 2009...

They don't understand how killer the commute from Moscow is.

Something really funny happened during attendance...

...You had to be there.

Attendance joke, Something really funny happened during attendance...

Maybe Jesus didn't like your chocolates

So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice. There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.

The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?"

The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!"

The Pope exclaims, "Every couple of years?? What!!?? We're still waiting for his second coming!"

The alien replies, "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?"

The Pope is flabbergasted, "What does chocolate have to do with anything?"

The alien says, "Well when he came the first time, we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys give him?"

A very very Very old joke :)

What do you call a dance that starts at 10?


The art critic

A young painter is exhibiting his work for the first time, and a famous art critic is in attendance.

The critic has a look around and then finds the artist, saying to him: "Do you want my opinion on your art?"

The artist of course says "yes"

The critic replies "it's worthless"

"I know. But tell me anyway."

An all boys high school teacher was doing the attendance roll call one morning

She went through the list of names and each student replied, Yes miss as their name was called.


Yes miss, replied James.

Is Robert here?

Yes miss, replied Robert.


After about 5 seconds of silence, Jack hadn't replied.

The teacher continued, Jack off today?

The whole class in unison, Okay we will miss.

Attendance joke, An all boys high school teacher was doing the attendance roll call one morning

Teacher: alright time for attendance. Is X Æ A-12 here?

**X Æ A-12:** present

**Teacher:** okay and how about... umm... achhh-med???

**Ahmed:** -__-

WNBA announces plan to play abbreviated 22-game season in Florida beginning in late July without fans in attendance.

Come on. Do I even have to type the punchline for this one?

There were nine INTERPOL agents in a briefing.

They were named INTERPOL 1, INTERPOL 2, and so on. Their names were read out one by one in attendance. As the speaker reached the end, he said "INTERPOL 6, INTERPOL 7, INTERPOL 9." The missing agent stood up and asked why her name wasn't called. The speaker said, "You can figure it out."

Whats tiny and makes priests moan?

Church attendance levels.

You can explore attendance reunions reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean attendance curriculum dad jokes. There are also attendance puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

The Flat Earth Society held it's annual conference in Antarctica this year...

... but attendance fell off.

A teacher was taking attendance

She noticed one student was missing and marked him absent. She continues on with her lesson until, about a half hour in, the student walks in. She says to him, You're late. He says nothing and instead pulls out a clock, No, he says and proceeds to sit on the clock, I'm right on time.

A recent study shows that church attendance rates are down

I say give it three days and they'll rise again.

Why is the priest mad about the church attendance?

Not enough kids attend church these days

What's worse than cancer?

My sister's attendance record.

Attendance joke, What's worse than cancer?

The doctor says i have myopic attendance syndrome

I can't see myself coming in to work today.

Our doctor's office painted their examination rooms the color 'Bran Muffin'.

They hope to keep our attendance more regular.

Teacher: I'm having trouble with one of my students.

Principal: What's the problem?

Teacher: Not only is he the worst behaved child in class, he has a perfect attendance record

Ladies, most men are like professors that don't take attendance...

It doesn't matter to them if you come.

What is the only dance I'm good at?


I was supposed to go to prison for a long time, but thankfully i got was released early

Thanks to thirty years perfect attendance.

Why Islam is growing rapidly !!!

Father Francis of Bradford was unhappy that the church attendance had steadily declined in the past few years but the mosque across the street was jampacked every Friday.

So he invited the imam for a cup of tea and then finally brought up the topic

Imam :So tell me,what happens if a man visits church every Sunday and follows the word of Jesus

Father: He will go to heaven after he dies

Imam: What will he get there?

Father: He will forever be in the company of Father,Jesus,Holy Spirit,Virgin Mary...

Imam: Thats the problem, Only One Virgin...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the attendance environmental jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working attendance annual piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes