Following is our collection of Attend jokes which are very funny. There are some attend coastal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these attend reunions puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Not enough kids attend church these days
Make sure you stay after the ceremony is finished.
They were having a good time, when he got up to leave. They asked him what was the matter.
He said he had some business to attend to at the local Bee Farm.
So they said
Bee's Mill, huh? We will not let you go!
The congregation must have been huge Mortal Kombat fans because they were singing a Finnish hymn.
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."
No one cared enough to attend the meetings, though.
Late afternoon, the grandma saw the teacher walking up their driveway. She asked her grandson, "Did you leave school early today?" He hung his head and admitted, "Yes Grandma." The grandma thought it was hilarious and assured him saying she would tell the teacher that she hadn't seen him all day. "Maybe you should go hide," she suggested. "Oh no, Grandma. *You* should hide, not me!" Surprised, she asked why. The grandson said, "I told the teacher you died!"
When I was younger,I had to attend many a wedding with my parents. Every single time, my aunts and other older relatives used to poke me with a smirk and tell me "You're next.".
They only stopped after I started doing the same thing with them at funerals.
There wasn't a dry eye in the audience.
I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...
BONUS:
What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback
*BUHDUMCHHH*
Too many thank-you notes to write
You can explore attend attendance reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean attend event dad jokes. There are also attend puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I'm just not a mourning person.
50 Cent ft. Nickelback.
All the inmates attend the service.
The preacher opens with
"It brings me joy to see you all here"
They had to go to work.
"...but it was canceled due to unforeseen events."
- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
499
- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge
- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge
- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?
Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.
- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
The alligators are all at the birthday party.
- Sally dies anyways. Why?
She got hit in the head by a flying brick
Little Johnny : I was feeling so sleepy this morning that I tossed a coin to decide whether I should attend class or go back to bed.
His Friend : So, what did you finally do?
Little Johnny : I had to toss 10 times before I could finally go back to bed.
There were too many vets.
The guest of honor always shows up late!
A drunk man is questioned by a police officer at midnight, asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, "I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health."
Officer: Really....??? Sounds interesting, Who is giving that lecture at this time of night.....???"
Man: "My Wife"!!!
It already has at least hundred degrees
tenish.
They're there to affect its effect and it's there for their two affects too.
A teenage son of a terrorist was busted by his dad for skipping school.
"Farhad, why did you not attend school today?"
"Well," the boy said, "all my friends skipped school--"
"Ach! Farhad, must you always do what your friends do? I suppose if your friends wanted to live long, prosperous lives of peace and tranquility, you'd do that too, right?"
Now I have to fill her slot...
in hopes that people would attend their games.
there is no punch line
Hillary: Today, at one grassroots event, people called me a liar.
Bill: Don't try to fool me, you never attend grassroots events.
It's already got thousands of degrees.
Anglican.
he's not a mourning person
"A hundred thousand people?" Trump asks, "Do we even have enough room for 1.5 million people?"
Univer-sith-y
... I'll let myself out.
Unfortunately, it has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.
Noble Masses.
then I would hate to attend the analysis meetings scheduled for tomorrow
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the following alphabets:
P N E I S
The question asked us to rearrange the letters in a way that it would spell the most important part of the body that is most useful when straight.
Those who answered *SPINE* are doctors today, and the rest of them are my friends.
Turns out it was a Miss Steak.
Someone Alert the Masses!
He was baroque.
They say it totally rocks.
so now i think im gonna be pretty good at it
Apparently "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead" was not an appropriate song for the occasion.
I was speechless.
Here I go again on my own.
I swear, someone must have slipped something into my drink because after awhile I was definitely feeling spacey.
My grandparents always tease me that I will be next. They were not happy when I said the same thing when we saw a funeral procession.
of the grab-n-go pizza restaurant Little Seizures
At the center of mass.
My wife gave me a haircut this morning, and now she said she's going to make Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.
He opposed all the biathletes
So I had my buddy dress up as Iron Man, that way he was Fe male.
Critical Mass
'Ricotta be kidding me!'
They have, however, agreed to not go past the group stage.
First thing they told us to do was open our bibles to Psalm: body once told me.
there's somebobby for everybobby.
After 4 hours, the doctor arrived, all sweaty and tired.
"Sorry I'm late." The doctor said, "I had to attend my son's baseball game."
The guy replied, "It's okay doc, I'm patient."
She wasn't Aladdin.
Because they won't be there at mine
My sister has always been fascinated with cell biology and she moved across state to attend a better college, moving her into her dorm we moved a dresser to benefit the small space she had and in doing so she dropped it on my foot. I yelled out MITOSIS!
(This is my first original joke be gentle)
They have to attend my mother-in-law's party next weekend.
I'm never attending a nudist beach again.
The first lessons didn't please me and so I determined to pay direct for a year in advance and not to attend there
And so he yells "I knew it! Now how many is a 'brazilian'?"
They have got a lot of bad publicity lately so they just released a new campaign. They are offering scholarships for 100 lucky boys that can attend private school to become a priest for free.
Their slogan: "Find the priest inside of you."
Even the cake was in tiers.
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
Sir, come for Ence.
I didn't attend though, everyone there seems like a bunch of wankers.
.Naturally, he was properly dressed and wearing his priest's collar.
A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening. Finally, the priest asked the little boy what he was staring at. The little boy pointed to the priest's neck.
When the priest finally realized what the boy was pointing at, he asked him, "Do you know why I am wearing that?"
The boy nodded his head yes, and replied, "It kills fleas and ticks for up to three months."
After waiting around 10 minutes, everyone who had to arrive arrived.
One of the generals stands up and says "So, shall we begin the meeting?"
Donald Trump coughs loudly, and then says "We cannot begin this meeting without the president present!"
"But... you are the president..."
Donald Trump nods. "Exactly! So where's my present!"
You attend a memeorial service.
_What school do you attend?_
U.R. High
It was quite a soviet union
Word is, now they're looking for 2,000 volunteers to attend the game.
He said, Yes, I'll be Bach .
Thank God it's a dream, I did not want to attend
Actually it was sort of a webinAHRRRR
They now attend Sunday Mask.
Well you can't make them work when they already booked the day off to attend the protest!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the attend participate jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working attend seminar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.