Atop Jokes

Following is our collection of canyon humor and highest one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Atop puns for adults, dirty peak jokes or clean rests gags for kids.

There is an abundance of top jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 17 funniest jokes on atop. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any steed witze you can hear about atop.

The Best jokes about Atop

Jesus and Moses are at a lake in heaven

They both want to see if their powers still work

so moses splits the lake, walks right through, and says "alright jesus, now you try it"

So jesus tries to walk atop the waters but winks right through, and swims to the other side.

"What happened?" Moses asks, "Did you lose balance or something?"

"Well last time I didn't have holes in my feet"

A man named Jose has just moved from Mexico to the US

and he wants to do something very American so he decides to go to a baseball game.

Unfortunately, the game is completely sold out. However, the cashier says there is one seat available if Jose is willing to sit atop the flag pole. He agrees.

Finding the pole, Jose climbs to the top and takes a seat.

The game is about to begin when a voice comes over the loudspeaker and says "Please rise for the National Anthem". Everyone in the stadium stands up, turns to Jose, puts their hands over their hearts, and sings


Jose yells back "YES THANK YOU"

A pianist performing in a subway terminal...

was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.

Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.

I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"

To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."

A parachutist is plummeting to Earth

Because her ripcord malfunctioned.

As she frantically pulls at the defective cord, she passes a man atop a stove traveling the opposite way.

She yells out to him, Hey, do you know how to fix a parachute!?

He replies back No! Do you know anything about repairing gas lines??

A guy walks into a bar.

Inside the bar he sees a blonde sitting at the bar, she's intently watching the 10 pm news. The news story is about a man who's standing atop a building, preparing to jump. The guy says to the blond "I bet you $50 he'll jump". The blonde takes the bet and continuous to watch.

Some time later, the man on the building jumps. The guy turns to the blonde and says "I'm sorry but I can't take your money. I watched this on the 6 pm news and knew he would jump". The blonde replies "I watched it at 6 pm too, but I didn't think he'd jump again"

A car carrying 3 men broke down in the middle of a desert...

"Let's each take a part and try to make it back to civilization." One of them suggested. They all agreed it was a good idea.

"I'll take the hood," said the first, "This way if I find myself atop a hill, I can slide down quickly, like a sled."

"I'll take the wheels," said the second, "In case I want to bring something with me I can roll it along instead of carrying it."

"I'll take the door." Said the last, "If I get hot I can simply roll down the window."

When I'm having sex with a woman I prefer to do it atop a pile of fermented apples…

I just love the feeling of being in cider.

What is black and sits atop the staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Mistaken Identity

A Japanese man in a monastery atop a sacred mountain asks the wise man: - "Master Ayumu, why do all Westerners think that Japanese people look alike?" - "I am not Master Ayumu."

Two midget asians sit atop each other and get makeup to look Caucasian for a movie, the director says no because

two wongs don't make a white

A man has just died.

As his soul leaves his body and begins to float towards the clouds, he hears a loud, booming voice.

**"Come. Come towards the light, my son."**

And so he does.

Meanwhile, atop his cloud, God laughs, as another human hits his bug zapper.

The god of thunder rides to the top of the mountain atop his noble steed.

Upon reaching the summit, he gets off his horse, raises his hammer to the sky and yells, "I am Thor!"

The horse turns around and says, "That'th cuth you forgot your thaddle thilly!"

I like my women like I like my dragons...

Jealous, naked, and atop a bunch of gold.

A man reached the top of the mountain and tells the sage atop it I seek one greater than the meaning of life itself.

The sage replies 43.

The mighty god rode his valiand steed atop the highest mountain..

... raised his hammer high, and declared ''I am Thor!''. To which his horse replied: ''Because you forgot your thaddle, thilly.''

3 Wishes

A young couple are walking along the beach when the come across a man sitting atop a giant hill of money, surrounded by beautiful women fawning over him. Upon closer inspection they see that the man has a horrific looking giant melon shaped head.

The young man and his girlfriend are intrigued and approach the man and ask "Hey what's going on here?"

The man looks down at them and says, "I was walking along the beach and found a magic lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie came out and granted me three wishes." The couple look at each other and back at the man and ask "What were the wishes?" The man says "Well, first I asked for more wealth than I could ever spend" and he motions to the pile of money he's sitting atop. "Then, I wished to be surrounded by beautiful women who love me" he points at all the beautiful women surrounding him.

The couple look amazed. "And for your third wish?" The man looks at them and says "A GIANT MELON SHAPED HEAD."

Jesus Spoke to his Followers

Jesus spoke to his followers from atop a podium.

"Come forth, and win eternal life!"

John came 5th and won a toaster.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes