The Best 90 Atoms Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Atoms jokes. There are some atoms collider jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these atoms molecule puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Atoms Jokes and Puns

So 2 atoms were walking down the street...

One suddenly says: Oh no, I think I lost an electron!
The other one asks: Are you sure man?
He says: Yes, I'm positive.

Two atoms are sitting at a bar...

...and the first atom is looking pretty glum.

"What's wrong?" asks the second atom.

"I thnk I lost an electron."

"My God!" said the second atom. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," said the first. "I'm positive."

Why isn't energy made of atoms?

It doesn't matter

(go ahead and down vote :P)

Atoms joke, Why isn't energy made of atoms?

Why can't you trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff.

Why are atoms known for being such liars?

oh, they make up EVERYTHING!

Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider...

It was full of nerds so they split.

Atoms joke, Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider...

You'd think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they're being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other.

Isn't it ionic?

So three Hahnium atoms walk into a bar,


Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar

One says, "I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?

The atoms family.

You can explore atoms particle reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean atoms electron dad jokes. There are also atoms puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Two atoms were hanging out...

...and one says to the other, "Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first says, "Yes, I'm positive!"

two atoms are talking..

"Hey Bob, why the long face?"
"I've just lost an electron."
"What, are you sure?"
"Yes..... I'm positive."

Two atoms were crossing the road...

...when the first atom screams "Ahhhhh! I lost an electron".
The second atom asks "Are you sure?"
to which the first atom replied "Yes, I'm positive."

What do you do with dead atoms?


Why did the atoms cross the road?

It was time to split.

Atoms joke, Why did the atoms cross the road?

Two atoms bump into each other, and become stuck.

"Oh, no," said the first atom. "We're going to be stuck like this forever!"

"It'll be okay. Try not to be so negative! Think positive for a second."

The first atom thought real hard, and the two flew apart.

Why are atoms weird?

They have their quarks

Two Helium atoms were acting funny


Two Helium Atoms Are Bonding.


If your atoms had no kinect energy you'd be 0K.

Two atoms are walking down the street...

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"

"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.

To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

That one about the three helium atoms is pretty funny.


What do you call a ring of iron atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

A joke my kid told me today.

Him: dad guess who is the smallest family in the world?
Me: I don't know, who?
Him: the atoms family.
Not bad for 7 years old.

Two atoms walk into a bar.

The first one turns to the other and says "I think I've lost an electron!"

The second one goes "Are you sure?"

To which the first one replies "I'm positive."

Three helium atoms walk into a bar


what do you call 6.02 X 10^23 atoms of avocado dipping sauce?

one guacamole

What did the scientist say when he found 2 helium atoms?


A chemist walks into a bar...

He says to the bartender, "Tonight all drinks are on me!"

The bartender says to him, "you must've had a good day today, what happened?"

"I finally found a way to make a stable molecule from a barium atom, two sodium atoms, and a sulfur atom!" the chemist proudly replies.

"Wow," says the bartender, "that's BaNaNaS!"

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…

followed by Batman.

What did the oxygen atom say to the two hydrogen atoms?

Man! This threesome is getting me wet!

So my bf and I walk into a bar. We notice this guy kept hitting on the female bartender by telling her corny jokes as she fake chuckles.

One joke involved him asking her why no one trusted atoms. (Because they make up everything). My bf retaliates with his own joke... 'What do female bartenders like most about their male Patrons?.... Just the tip' 😎

Two atoms are walking together...

One of them says:

Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.

The other replies, Are you sure?

The first says, Yes, I'm positive.

*This is an oldy all over the internet, but very cute.*

what kind of cookies do atoms eat?

Fig neutrons

What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

Two atoms

One atom says to the other, "you're a weird dude. You know that?" The other atom responds "hey man, we all have some quarks."

Why are atoms so serious?

Because they're no laughing matter.

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

What fish is made of 2 sodium atoms?


What do you get when you mix an atom of cobalt, an atom of vanadium, and two atoms of iron?


You would think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to eachother

But instead they steal each others electrons.

How ionic.

Why are atoms bad story tellers?

Even though they are great at making things up, they always ending up Bohring me to death

Can you move my atoms closer together?

You'd be doing me a real solid.

2 scientists see atoms for the first time.

Scientist 1: So everything is made up of these tiny particles?

Scientist 2: I guess so.

Scientist 1: What should we call the things they make up?

Scientist 2: Why name it? It doesn't seem that important to me.

Scientist 1: Are you sure? Cause I think it all Matters.

What do you call a fish made of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider?

Higg no rants

Two atoms come back after fishin'

But they don't come back after fusion.

Two atoms sitting in a bar..

One says I lost an electron. The other asks are you sure ?

Yeah I'm positive

What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way orgy with 4 other hydrogen atoms?


All the atoms go to the bar Quantum Accelerator

Why? Because it's a smashing time

Fish composed of 2 sodium atoms?


What do you call 2 sodium atoms?


Two atoms are walking down the street....

One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"

The other inquires, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive!"

Two atoms are driving together, lose control and smash into a tree...

ATOM #1: are you ok?

ATOM #2: oh my god, no! I think I lost an electron!

ATOM #1: are you sure?

ATOM #2: yes, I'm positive!

-Two atoms walking down the street

Two atoms walking down the street happen to collide into one another. The first one exclaims, "Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"Β 
"Are you sure?" says the second atom.Β 
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Why do all of the carbon atoms in benzene get along so well?

They learned to just let pi bonds be pi bonds.

I've learned never to trust atoms

they'll make up anything

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

Copper and chromium must be pretty great atoms...

If they have such an exceptional ground state

You shouldn't trust atoms..

they make up everything.

Who's your favourite Canadian music icon that also practices advanced culinary technique which enhances the flavour of poultry at the atomic level?

Brine Atoms

What do you call 2 sodium atoms in the ocean?


Two atoms are in a bar

One said to the other,' I just lost an electron'

'Are you sure?' Was the reply

'Yes, I'm positive'

Two hydrogen atoms are walking down a street

All of a sudden, one stops and says oh my goodness I've lost my electron! The other turns to him and says are you sure to which the first replies yeah! I'm positive!

Atoms are catholic.

They have mass.

why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything

Periodic table lesson

What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?


(It's ok I know where the door is, bye)

Two atoms are in a bar. One says, "I think I lost an electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?" to which the other replies, "I'm positive."

Did you hear Oasis's new song about the attraction and repulsion of atoms?

"And after all, you're my Van der Waals"

What do atoms and black lives have in common?

They matter

Two atoms are walking back home together...

One of the atom stumbles and falls

Atom: ouch, I think I just lost an electron.

Atom 2: are you sure?

Atom: I'm positive.

Did you know that atoms never touch each other. And since we're made of atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives.

So to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.

Some words sounding similar can be confusing. For example, Entropy and Atrophy.

Entropy is simply a measure of how much the energy of atoms and molecules become more spread out in a process and can be defined in terms of statistical probabilities, whereas Atrophy, is what you get if you win something.

How do hydrogen atoms find a new leader?

They hold an *electron*.

Do you know why we can't trust Atoms?

They make up everything

Two atoms go on a date...when suddenly, one of them drops an electron and gasps. The other atom asks...are you sure?

I'm positive! Replies the other atom.

There are two lithium atoms walking along, and one says to the other,

Phil, I think I lost an electron back there.

So Phil says, Really Jason, are you sure?

And Jason replies, Yeah, I'm positive!

I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.


Scientist: We've discovered a clump of atoms that has no sense of humor.

Me : You've got to br kidding.
Scientist : This is no laughing matter.

Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.

They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"

It replys "I'm positive."

You can't trust atoms.

They make up everything!

What fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

What do you call a scientist who splits atoms to create bubbly beverages?

A nuclear fizzicist.

Ionic humor

Two atoms are walking down the street. One suddenly says, I just lost an electron.

The other is concerned. Are you sure?

I'm positive!

Two atoms are talking and one says "I think I lost an electron."

The other atom says "Are you sure?" The first atom replys "Yes, I'm positive!"

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

\*Ba dum tssss\*

Three Dad Jokes for Father's Day

* I was wondering why this frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
* Why can't you trust atoms? They make up everything.
* Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. That can't just be a coincidence.

Never trust atoms; they make up everything.

say less...

Stand up Comedy on Star Trek

Yo mamma so fat… she tried to use the teleporter, but it ran out of atoms before she made it to the other side

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the atoms proton jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working atoms ion piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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