Atoms Jokes
131 atoms jokes and hilarious atoms puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about atoms that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the lighter side of science with hilarious jokes about atoms and other particles. If you're looking for a laugh as you brush up on your chemistry knowledge, this is the article for you.
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Funniest Atoms Short Jokes
Short atoms jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The atoms humour may include short atomic jokes also.
- Two atoms were walking down the street. One of them said, "I lost an electron." The other one said, "Are you sure?" and the first one said, "I'm positive!"
- 39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom Scientists still can't determine how much is needed for your mother though
- An atom walks into a bar… Bartender: What are you doing here?
Atom: I'm celebrating the loss of an electron.
Bartender: I'm keeping my ion you.
Atom: Don't worry, I'll keep things positive. - A merchant told another "I'll trade you a barium atom and two sodiums for that weight measuring device." "BaNaNa for scale?"
- One atom says to another atom "Dude! I lost all my valence electrons!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!" - Size of matter in descending order. Molecule > Atom > Proton > Quark > x on a mobile ad
- We learned about the orbitals of an atom today... It was pretty Bohring.
.
.
.
I'll let myself out. - Did you know that atoms never touch each other. And since we're made of atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives. So to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.
- Where does an atom go when it breaks down? A quantum mechanic.
lel - What's the price for mutiny in the sub atomic realm? Walking the Planck.
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Atoms One Liners
Which atoms one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with atoms? I can suggest the ones about particle and chemistry.
- 12 atoms of sodium walk into a bar. Followed by Batman.
- An atom loses an electron... It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
- what kind of fish is made up of 2 atoms only? 2Na
- Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Hey girl, is your atomic number 11? Because you're sodium fine.
- Why isn't energy made of atoms? It doesn't matter
(go ahead and down vote :P) - What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
- Three helium atoms walk into a bar HeHeHe
- What's another name for the Periodic Table of element? The atoms family.
- That one about the three helium atoms is pretty funny. HeHeHe
- Don't ever believe anything an atom says. They make up everything.
- Two Helium atoms were acting funny HeHe
- How Does Uranium Atom Say Good Bye....? GOTTA SPLIT
- Never trust an atom when the pressure is on, they split.
- What did the scientist say when he found 2 helium atoms? HeHe
Hydrogen Atoms Jokes
Here is a list of funny hydrogen atoms jokes and even better hydrogen atoms puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the oxygen atom in tuxedo say to the hydrogen atoms? Bond, Covalent Bond
- How do hydrogen atoms find a new leader? They hold an *electron*.
- Explaining what is hydroxyl acid to an atom... Hydrogen ion: OH^- I get it, it is water!
- Why is Helium more Catholic than Hydrogen? Because it has more atomic MASS
- What happened when two hydrogen atoms collided? The doctor had to heal-ium.
- Two hydrogen atoms are walking down a street... One of them trips and falls. His friend says, " are you okay? "
" I dunno. I think I lost my electron! "
"Are you sure? "
"I'm positive!" - Two hydrogen atoms are at a party and bump into each other. The first one says, "Hey, grab that electron, it's mine!" "How do you know?" asks the second. "'Cause I'm positive!" the first replies.
- What does a lawyer, a pine tree, and a hydrogen atom have in common? Absolutely nothing.
- What is H20 Made out of? 20 hydrogen atoms.
- Hey baby, are you a Hydrogen atom? 'Cause ever since I saw you we've been bonded.
Sodium Atoms Jokes
Here is a list of funny sodium atoms jokes and even better sodium atoms puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the chlorine atom say to the sodium atom? I've got my ion you.
- A Sodium atom walked into a Bar. Bartender: How may I serve you today?
Sodium: Nothing special just the basic stuff
Bartender: OH...
Sodium: Yes.
>!NaOH is a Basic Chemical!< - A sodium atom undergoes a vigorous reaction with flourine... How do you feel?" Asks the fluoride ion.
"Positively shell shocked" the sodium ion replied. - The Creation Of Sodium Sodium, atomic number 11, was first isolated by Humphry Davy in 1807. A chemical component of salt, he named it Na in honour of the saltiest region on earth, North America.
- What comes after 12 atoms of sodium?
Science Atoms Jokes
Here is a list of funny science atoms jokes and even better science atoms puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I Really Don't Like Atomic Science Honestly, It's Such A Bohr.
- Q: Why are atoms Catholic?
A: Because they have mass. - Atoms are like science deniers. They make up the universe.
- Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
- Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.
Comical Atoms Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about atoms you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ammo jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make atoms pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man died knowing he made a positive difference in the world.
Oh course, when he was just setting out people considered him crazy for wanting to s**... atoms of their electrons and send the electrons to space.
A Compilation of Awful, Somewhat Nerdy Jokes
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"To."
"To who?"
"To whom*."
___________________________________________________________
What do they do to tickle me elmo before he leaves the factory?
Give him two test tickles!
___________________________________________________________
What did one eye say to the other?
Between you and me, something smells.
___________________________________________________________
Two atoms duck into the trenches after an intense firefight.
One atom exclaims, "I think I lost an electron!"
The other asks if he's sure, and the atom replies, "Yes! I'm positive!"
Atoms Have Mass?
I didn't know they were Catholic...
Thank you. Please drive home safely.
Why are atoms known for being such liars?
oh, they make up EVERYTHING!
Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider...
It was full of nerds so they split.
You'd think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they're being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other.
Isn't it ionic?
So three Hahnium atoms walk into a bar,
HA HA HA
Why did the atoms cross the road?
It was time to split.
Two atoms bump into each other, and become stuck.
"Oh, no," said the first atom. "We're going to be stuck like this forever!"
"It'll be okay. Try not to be so negative! Think positive for a second."
The first atom thought real hard, and the two flew apart.
Why are atoms weird?
They have their quarks
Famous physicist Dirac is talking about his favorite elementary particles...
Dirac says he is "very fond of electrons, they exist in all the atoms in our bodies, explain chemical reactions and the periodic table, and their flow in electrical circuits enables much of modern technology and beautiful lighting at night. Positrons however, well that's another matter altogether."
How do hipster atoms connect?
Ironic Bonds.
BA-DUM-TISH
This is an organic chemistry joke
A dozen carbon atoms walk into a bar. Not eleven carbon atoms or thirteen carbon atoms, but exactly 12. They order eleven glasses of water. Not 12 glasses of water, and not 10 glasses of water, but exactly eleven glasses of water. What did they get?
Two Helium Atoms Are Bonding.
HeHe
If your atoms had no kinect energy you'd be 0K.
Two hydrogen atoms
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. The first says "I think I've been ionized".
The second replied " are you sure" and the first responded "yes I'm positive".
After hearing this conversation the bartender kicked them out and said to the other patrons "don't anthropomorphize atoms, they don't like it"
Do Individual Atoms Have Goals?
Yes, but they don't matter.
A Physics Joke
Atoms are very hard to entertain. Only if you approach them with exactly the right energy they get excited.
Did you know there are more grains of sand on all the beaches on earth than there are atoms in the universe?
wait
A joke my kid told me today.
Him: dad guess who is the smallest family in the world?
Me: I don't know, who?
Him: the atoms family.
Not bad for 7 years old.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Science at its finest.
Why are all subatomic particles gay?
Because they are all atoms
A physicist walks into a bar...
and orders two drinks, having one for himself and leaving the other one untouched at the stool beside him. The next day, the bartender notices that he does it again, and the day after, he does it a third time. When he does it a fourth time, the bartender finally asks him "why do you keep ordering two drinks but only having one?". In response, the physicist says "according to the laws of physics, there is a statistical chance that billions of atoms could align perfectly and form a beautiful woman sitting on the stool". The bartender then asks "why don't you just ask a woman to have a drink with you and see if she says yes?", to which the physicist replies "well what's the chance that that's actually going to happen?"
A chemist walks into a bar...
He says to the bartender, "Tonight all drinks are on me!"
The bartender says to him, "you must've had a good day today, what happened?"
"I finally found a way to make a stable molecule from a barium atom, two sodium atoms, and a sulfur atom!" the chemist proudly replies.
"Wow," says the bartender, "that's BaNaNaS!"
What is the similarities between bernie madoff and Atoms?
They both make up everything!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the oxygen atom say to the two hydrogen atoms?
Man! This t**... is getting me wet!
So my bf and I walk into a bar. We notice this guy kept hitting on the female bartender by telling her corny jokes as she fake chuckles.
One joke involved him asking her why no one trusted atoms. (Because they make up everything). My bf retaliates with his own joke... 'What do female bartenders like most about their male Patrons?.... Just the tip' 😎
Atoms have no cousins
Because they only have auntie-particles
what kind of cookies do atoms eat?
Fig neutrons
What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!
Atoms are liers...
the makeup everything
Two atoms
One atom says to the other, "you're a weird dude. You know that?" The other atom responds "hey man, we all have some quarks."
Why are atoms so serious?
Because they're no laughing matter.
I recently learned that atoms are mostly nothing
No wonder I feel so empty on the inside
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What if Issac Newton was a t**...?
It would be called an ATOMS APPLE.
The other scientists in the lab were all talking about atoms.
I told them not to trust them because they make up everything.
They asked me to leave.
What do we call a group of 12 atoms?
Dozen matter.
What did a chemist get
when he put together one atom of Cobalt and two atoms of Iron?
A CoFFee
Why don't atoms drive to work?
They use mass transit
What do you get when you mix an atom of cobalt, an atom of vanadium, and two atoms of iron?
covfefe
You would think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to eachother
But instead they steal each others electrons.
How ionic.
Why are atoms bad story tellers?
Even though they are great at making things up, they always ending up Bohring me to death
Can you move my atoms closer together?
You'd be doing me a real solid.
Two atoms get into an argument.
It was nuclear fall out.
2 scientists see atoms for the first time.
Scientist 1: So everything is made up of these tiny particles?
Scientist 2: I guess so.
Scientist 1: What should we call the things they make up?
Scientist 2: Why name it? It doesn't seem that important to me.
Scientist 1: Are you sure? Cause I think it all Matters.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... girls are like Wal-Marts
They are both made up of atoms
What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider?
Higg no rants
Two atoms come back after fishin'
But they don't come back after fusion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way o**... with 4 other hydrogen atoms?
Ammoooaaanium
Me neither
Did you hear the one about the average of the sum of all organic compounds that contain an oxygen atom connected to two alkyl atoms?
No?
Mean ether.
All the atoms go to the bar Quantum Accelerator
Why? Because it's a smashing time
Why do all of the carbon atoms in benzene get along so well?
They learned to just let pi bonds be pi bonds.
At one point in time...
we thought atoms represented the smallest unit of matter. Although initially thought to be indivisible, this was proven false and each atom is made up of proton, neutrons, and electrons inside.
For a time these were the smallest units, then we found that these protons and neutrons were made up of particles called quarks and leptons, which are infinitely smaller. These were the smallest units in existence.
However, as science is always evolving, it has recently been proven that infinitely smaller than even these quarks and leptons is the number of people who have actually changed any political opinion because of what someone shared on Facebook.
North Korea invented a weapon that can destroy atoms.
It's a weapon of MASS destruction.
How do atoms find a partner to bond with?
Through carbon dating
What's an atoms favorite video game?
Half life
Two things can not touch, since there will always be something in between the atoms
Good luck explaining that in court
What do you call a group of 500 atoms?
A Refund.
*This post is brought to you by "Todd Howard did Nothing Wrong" gang*
I've learned never to trust atoms
they'll make up anything
Copper and chromium must be pretty great atoms...
If they have such an exceptional ground state
Who's your favourite Canadian music icon that also practices advanced culinary technique which enhances the flavour of poultry at the atomic level?
Brine Atoms
I think we'll have good chemistry.
Atoms are happy when they have their shells filled. Can you be my valence-tine? Helium. Helium. Helium.
Atoms are catholic.
They have mass.
Periodic table lesson
What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?
"He-He!"
(It's ok I know where the door is, bye)
Did you hear Oasis's new song about the attraction and repulsion of atoms?
"And after all, you're my Van der Waals"
It would be a massive understatement to say I have a million atoms in my body
It would be much more accurate to say I'm a multi mole-ionaire
What do atoms and black lives have in common?
They matter
Some words sounding similar can be confusing. For example, Entropy and Atrophy.
Entropy is simply a measure of how much the energy of atoms and molecules become more spread out in a process and can be defined in terms of statistical probabilities, whereas Atrophy, is what you get if you win something.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.
o**...
