The Best 58 Atom Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Atom jokes. There are some atom nobelium jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these atom atomic puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Atom Jokes and Puns

So 2 atoms were walking down the street...

One suddenly says: Oh no, I think I lost an electron!
The other one asks: Are you sure man?
He says: Yes, I'm positive.

Two atoms are sitting at a bar...

...and the first atom is looking pretty glum.

"What's wrong?" asks the second atom.

"I thnk I lost an electron."

"My God!" said the second atom. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," said the first. "I'm positive."

An atom walks into a bar...

and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. "Why so down?" the barman asks. "Iv'e lost an electron." the atom answers. "Are you sure?" the barman asks. "I'm positive."

Atom joke, An atom walks into a bar...

Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons?

He was arrested and charged.

...this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.

An atom asks another atom,

Do these protons make my mass look big?

Why are atoms known for being such liars?

oh, they make up EVERYTHING!

Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider...

It was full of nerds so they split.

Atom joke, Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider...

Don't ever believe anything an atom says.

They make up everything.

So an atom walks into a bar...

He says, "Hey bartender, I think I lost an electron." The bartender asks him if he's sure, and he says , "Yeah, I'm positive."

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

A photon walks into a bar. He sees his friend on the other side of the room, so he waves.

Two atoms were hanging out...

...and one says to the other, "Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first says, "Yes, I'm positive!"

two atoms are talking..

"Hey Bob, why the long face?"
"I've just lost an electron."
"What, are you sure?"
"Yes..... I'm positive."

You can explore atom oxygen reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean atom ion dad jokes. There are also atom puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Two atoms were crossing the road...

...when the first atom screams "Ahhhhh! I lost an electron".
The second atom asks "Are you sure?"
to which the first atom replied "Yes, I'm positive."

Two atoms bump into each other, and become stuck.

"Oh, no," said the first atom. "We're going to be stuck like this forever!"

"It'll be okay. Try not to be so negative! Think positive for a second."

The first atom thought real hard, and the two flew apart.

Why can't you believe what an atom tells you?

Because they make up everything!

We learned about the orbitals of an atom today...

It was pretty Bohring.

I'll let myself out.

A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.

A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.
Hydrogen says to helium, 'Hey, I think I've lost my electron.'
Helium replies 'Oh, are you sure?'

Hydrogen responds 'I'm positive'.

Atom joke, A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.

Why was the atom laughing?

Because part tickles.

One atom asks a hipster atom, "Hey, did you lose an electron?"

The hipster atom replies, "No, I'm just being ionic."

Where does an atom go when it breaks down?

A quantum mechanic.


What did one atom say to the other?

Thank you for your help in this matter!

Two atoms are walking down the street...

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"

"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.

To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: "I think I just lost my electron!"

"Are you sure?" Asked its friend,
"Yes" replied the first, "I'm positive."

How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom?

'ey you.

Never trust an atom

They make up stuff.

Two atoms walk into a bar.

The first one turns to the other and says "I think I've lost an electron!"

The second one goes "Are you sure?"

To which the first one replies "I'm positive."

A chemist walks into a bar...

He says to the bartender, "Tonight all drinks are on me!"

The bartender says to him, "you must've had a good day today, what happened?"

"I finally found a way to make a stable molecule from a barium atom, two sodium atoms, and a sulfur atom!" the chemist proudly replies.

"Wow," says the bartender, "that's BaNaNaS!"

What did the oxygen atom say to the two hydrogen atoms?

Man! This threesome is getting me wet!

Why did the phosphorus atom go to the fortune teller?

To find out his phos-fate!

Two atoms are walking together...

One of them says:

Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.

The other replies, Are you sure?

The first says, Yes, I'm positive.

*This is an oldy all over the internet, but very cute.*

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

I went to an atom party last night.

It was crazy, but in the middle of the party a couple splitted up and the party exploded!

A helium atom walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out, we don't serve your kind here".

The helium atom did not react.

An atom loses an electron...

It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."

One atom says to another atom

"Dude! I lost all my valence electrons!"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

If I had an atom bomb for every gender...

I'd force Japan to surrender

Never trust an atom

when the pressure is on, they split.

You would think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to eachother

But instead they steal each others electrons.

How ionic.

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way orgy with 4 other hydrogen atoms?


All the atoms go to the bar Quantum Accelerator

Why? Because it's a smashing time

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom

Scientists still can't determine how much is needed for your mother though

Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?

Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too

Two atoms are walking down the street....

One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"

The other inquires, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive!"

Two atoms are driving together, lose control and smash into a tree...

ATOM #1: are you ok?

ATOM #2: oh my god, no! I think I lost an electron!

ATOM #1: are you sure?

ATOM #2: yes, I'm positive!

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

Why did the atom not laugh at his friend's joke?

It was no laughing matter...

Two atoms are in a bar. One says, "I think I lost an electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?" to which the other replies, "I'm positive."

What do atoms and black lives have in common?

They matter

Who do you call to fix an atom?

A quantum mechanic

Two atoms are walking back home together...

One of the atom stumbles and falls

Atom: ouch, I think I just lost an electron.

Atom 2: are you sure?

Atom: I'm positive.

Did you know that atoms never touch each other. And since we're made of atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives.

So to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.

Why can't you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

What does a nuclear physicist say when going to the bathroom?

Alright, I'm gonna go split an atom

Two atoms go on a date...when suddenly, one of them drops an electron and gasps. The other atom asks...are you sure?

I'm positive! Replies the other atom.

Two atoms are talking and one says "I think I lost an electron."

The other atom says "Are you sure?" The first atom replys "Yes, I'm positive!"

If you laid every atom in the sun end to end, it would be roughly 3.0818632e+23 times the width of the universe, or roughly 1.1701458e+43 lightyears.

That's almost as wide as your mother.

A hydrogen atom walks into a bar.

So a hydrogen atom walks into a bar.

He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. He says to the bartender, 'I think I've lost an electron.'

The bartender says, 'Are you sure?'

The atom says, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

What did the chlorine atom say to the sodium atom?

I've got my ion you.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the atom diatomic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working atom bohr piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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