Atom Jokes

159 atom jokes and hilarious atom puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about atom that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Feel the chemistry in the air when you break out the atom jokes! Learn more about atom-related humor and enjoy a laugh with atoms, uranium, bromine and oxygen providing the punch lines.

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Funniest Atom Short Jokes

Short atom jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The atom humour may include short particle jokes also.

  1. Two atoms were walking down the street. One of them said, "I lost an electron." The other one said, "Are you sure?" and the first one said, "I'm positive!"
  2. Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman. NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN!
  3. 39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom Scientists still can't determine how much is needed for your mother though
  4. An atom walks into a bar… Bartender: What are you doing here?
    Atom: I'm celebrating the loss of an electron.
    Bartender: I'm keeping my ion you.
    Atom: Don't worry, I'll keep things positive.
  5. Two atoms bump into each other. 2 atoms bump into each other. One says, "I think I lost an electron" The other asks,"Are you sure?"
    To which the first replies, "I am positive"
  6. Two atoms walk into a bar. The first one turns to the other and says "I think I've lost an electron!"
    The second one goes "Are you sure?"
    To which the first one replies "I'm positive."
  7. A merchant told another "I'll trade you a barium atom and two sodiums for that weight measuring device." "BaNaNa for scale?"
  8. How Does Uranium Atom Say Good Bye....? GOTTA SPLIT
  9. What fish is made out of two sodium atoms? 2 Na
  10. One atom says to another atom "Dude! I lost all my valence electrons!"
    "Are you sure?"
    "I'm positive!"

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Atom One Liners

Which atom one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with atom? I can suggest the ones about ammo and tons.

  1. 12 atoms of sodium walk into a bar. Followed by Batman.
  2. An atom loses an electron... It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
  3. Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman.
  4. what kind of fish is made up of 2 atoms only? 2Na
  5. Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  6. What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms? 2 Na
  7. What fish is made of 2 sodium atoms? 2Na
  8. Hey girl, is your atomic number 11? Because you're sodium fine.
  9. Why isn't energy made of atoms? It doesn't matter
    (go ahead and down vote :P)
  10. What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
  11. Three helium atoms walk into a bar HeHeHe
  12. What's another name for the Periodic Table of element? The atoms family.
  13. That one about the three helium atoms is pretty funny. HeHeHe
  14. Don't ever believe anything an atom says. They make up everything.
  15. Two Helium atoms were acting funny HeHe

Atom Bomb Jokes

Here is a list of funny atom bomb jokes and even better atom bomb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If I had an atom bomb for every gender... I'd force Japan to surrender
  • What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The August 1945 atomic bombings of hiroshima and Nagasaki.
  • What did the Big Boy atomic bomb say to the Nuclear Bomb when they met? Nuke, I am your father.
  • What did the Japanese man say as the Hiroshima sky was filled with the light of an atomic bomb, in a split second? Wow this blew up fast.
  • What made Rice Krispies long before Kellogg's? The Atomic Bomb
  • TIL the Enola Gay (dropped the first atom bomb) was named after the mother of the pilot Col. Paul Tibbets His mom gay
  • Everyone thinks Kim Jong Un wants to build an atom bomb... ...when he just wants to build a new clear-bomb.
  • What do you call it when an atomic bomb gets dropped on the hood? Niggasaki
  • What was the original name of the atomic bomb dropped on Japan? The rice cooker 3000
  • When President Roosevelt dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, he did so only because it was more human then sending Chuck Norris.

Chemistry Atom Jokes

Here is a list of funny chemistry atom jokes and even better chemistry atom puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Atoms are all liars... They make up everything!
    Credit to wherever my awesomely lame chemistry teacher finds her corny jokes :)
  • I think we'll have good chemistry. Atoms are happy when they have their shells filled. Can you be my valence-tine? Helium. Helium. Helium.
  • U+I= 145 Because the atomic number for U is 92, I is 53, and we've got chemistry.
  • I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together. o**...
Atom joke, I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.

Atom joke, I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.

Silly & Ridiculous Atom Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about atom you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean avatar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make atom pranks.

So 2 atoms were walking down the street...

One suddenly says: Oh no, I think I lost an electron!
The other one asks: Are you sure man?
He says: Yes, I'm positive.

Two atoms are sitting at a bar...

...and the first atom is looking pretty glum.
"What's wrong?" asks the second atom.
"I thnk I lost an electron."
"My God!" said the second atom. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," said the first. "I'm positive."

An atom walks into a bar...

and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. "Why so down?" the barman asks. "Iv'e lost an electron." the atom answers. "Are you sure?" the barman asks. "I'm positive."

An atom is walking down the street...

An atom is walking down the street when he meets a friend of his, who is evidently distraught. "What's the everything OK?" the atom asks his friend. "Well, I think I might have lost an electron," responds the other atom. "Are you sure?" asks the first. "I'm positive!" replies his friend.

Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons?

He was arrested and charged.
...this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.

One atom bumped into another atom,

And said, "hey I just lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" Asks the other atom.
"Yes, I'm positive!"

An atom asks another atom,

Do these protons make my mass look big?

A few of my favorites.

Have you ever seen an elephant hide on a tree?
They hide pretty well, don't they?
Why do chicken coops have two doors?
If they had four doors, they'd be a chicken sedan.
An atom walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I've lost an electron!" The bartender replies, "Are you sure?" The atom responds, "Yes! I'm positive!"
Bonus: It is well known that irradiated cats have 18 half-lives.

Why are atoms known for being such liars?

oh, they make up EVERYTHING!

Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider...

It was full of nerds so they split.

You'd think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they're being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other.

Isn't it ionic?

So an atom walks into a bar...

He says, "Hey bartender, I think I lost an electron." The bartender asks him if he's sure, and he says , "Yeah, I'm positive."
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."
A photon walks into a bar. He sees his friend on the other side of the room, so he waves.

2 atoms walk into a bar

One atom says to the other, "Oh no, I've lost an electron!" The other asks "Are you sure?" To which the atom replies, "I'm positive!"

Two atoms were hanging out...

...and one says to the other, "Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive!"

two atoms are talking..

"Hey Bob, why the long face?"
"I've just lost an electron."
"What, are you sure?"
"Yes..... I'm positive."

How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order?

I on it.

Two atoms were crossing the road...

...when the first atom screams "Ahhhhh! I lost an electron".
The second atom asks "Are you sure?"
to which the first atom replied "Yes, I'm positive."

Why did the atoms cross the road?

It was time to split.

Two atoms bump into each other, and become stuck.

"Oh, no," said the first atom. "We're going to be stuck like this forever!"
"It'll be okay. Try not to be so negative! Think positive for a second."
The first atom thought real hard, and the two flew apart.

Two atoms walked out of a bar.

One turned to the other one and said, "we've got to go back in there, I left an electron" The other one asked, "Are you sure?" He replied, "Yes, I'm positive"

Why can't you believe what an atom tells you?

Because they make up everything!

you stole my electron

atom 1: you stole my electron.
atom 2: sure?
atom 1: positive!

Why are atoms weird?

They have their quarks

The Atom and the Cation

The Atom says to the Cation, "who's in charge around here?"
Cation: "I am!"
Atom: "Are you sure?"
Cation: "I'm positive!"

Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say?

"Does it really matter we make up everything."

We learned about the orbitals of an atom today...

It was pretty Bohring.
I'll let myself out.

Why should you never date an atom?

The split is gonna be explosive

A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.

A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.
Hydrogen says to helium, 'Hey, I think I've lost my electron.'
Helium replies 'Oh, are you sure?'
Hydrogen responds 'I'm positive'.

If your atoms had no kinect energy you'd be 0K.

Why was the atom laughing?

Because part tickles.

One atom asks a hipster atom, "Hey, did you lose an electron?"

The hipster atom replies, "No, I'm just being ionic."

Where does an atom go when it breaks down?

A quantum mechanic.

What did one atom say to the other?

Thank you for your help in this matter!

What did the nucleus say to get the electron up?

Up and atom!

Two atoms are walking down the street...

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"
"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.
To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: "I think I just lost my electron!"

"Are you sure?" Asked its friend,
"Yes" replied the first, "I'm positive."

How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom?

'ey you.

A Hydrogen atom walks into a bar...

...and asks for a shot.
Bartender, "what's the occasion?"
Atom, "I think I lost an electron."
Bartender, "you sure?"
Atom, "I'm positive."

What did one atom say to the other?

"I lost an electron..."
The other atom asks "Are you sure?"
First atom replies, "I'm positive!"

How many electrons does a negatively charged oxygen atom have?


Never trust an atom

They make up stuff.

A chemist walks into a bar...

He says to the bartender, "Tonight all drinks are on me!"
The bartender says to him, "you must've had a good day today, what happened?"
"I finally found a way to make a stable molecule from a barium atom, two sodium atoms, and a sulfur atom!" the chemist proudly replies.
"Wow," says the bartender, "that's BaNaNaS!"

Help, I need nerd jokes the average high school student can understand.

Something along these lines,
Why can't you trust an atom? They make up everything.

Joke my scinence teacher dropped on us

A lithium atom walked into a bar and said
"Hey I think I left some electrons in here last night, have you seen any?"
The bar tender replied, "No, are you sure you lost them?"
The lithium atom replied "Yes I'm positive..."

What did the oxygen atom say to the two hydrogen atoms?

Man! This t**... is getting me wet!

Why did the phosphorus atom go to the fortune teller?

To find out his phos-fate!

Two atoms are walking together...

One of them says:
Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.
The other replies, Are you sure?
The first says, Yes, I'm positive.
*This is an oldy all over the internet, but very cute.*

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

I went to an atom party last night.

It was crazy, but in the middle of the party a couple splitted up and the party exploded!

A sodium atom undergoes a vigorous reaction with flourine...

How do you feel?" Asks the fluoride ion.
"Positively shell shocked" the sodium ion replied.

A helium atom walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out, we don't serve your kind here".

The helium atom did not react.

Two atoms

One atom says to the other, "you're a weird dude. You know that?" The other atom responds "hey man, we all have some quarks."

Even after repeated search attempts, the atom couldn't find its lost electron...

Yet, on the brighter side, it remained positive.

An atom loses an electron, another atom asks 'You sure?'

I'm positive.

An atom walks to a bar

He tells the bartender he lost an electron.
The bartender says, "Are you positive?"

I was ridiculed by some miscreants at the Halloween party for my Helium atom costume,..

... but I was too noble to react to such petty volatile elements.

Why are atoms so serious?

Because they're no laughing matter.

An oxygen atom and a potassium atom were involved in a car accident

Fortunately, they came out OK

Two atoms walking down the street ...

... one turns to the other and says "I think I've lost an electron". The other replies "F*c**... me, a talking atom!"

An Atom walks into a drinking establishment

He sits down and orders a drink and then all of a sudden he starts crying. The bartender walks over and asks : "is everything okay?"
To which the Atom replies: " I lost an electron..". "Are you sure you lost it?" the bartender asks concerned. To which the atom replies:" I am fairly positive "

There once was a chemist named atom

He made up everything.....

My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table

I said "sorry, I left it atom"

Never trust an atom

when the pressure is on, they split.

What do you get when you mix an atom of cobalt, an atom of vanadium, and two atoms of iron?


Never trust an atom

They make up everything.

You would think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to eachother

But instead they steal each others electrons.
How ionic.

Why are atoms bad story tellers?

Even though they are great at making things up, they always ending up Bohring me to death

What did the atom say when he lost an electron

Ow. That was ionisingly painful

An atom walks into a bar

An atom walks into a bar with his atom friend.
1st atom said: I think I lost an electron, the 2nd atom replied: Are you possitive?

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a t**...,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider?

Higg no rants

Two atoms come back after fishin'

But they don't come back after fusion.

Two atoms sitting in a bar..

One says I lost an electron. The other asks are you sure ?
Yeah I'm positive

A chemistry triple whammy!

What did one gold atom say to the other?
That last chemistry joke must have been bad, because there was no reaction!
Would you like another chemistry joke?
I would too, but when I start to tell one all the people Argon!

What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way o**... with 4 other hydrogen atoms?


Atom joke, What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way o**... with 4 other hydrogen atoms?

jokes about atom