Atlantic Ocean Jokes
44 atlantic ocean jokes and hilarious atlantic ocean puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about atlantic ocean that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Atlantic Ocean Short Jokes
Short atlantic ocean jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The atlantic ocean humour may include short pacific ocean jokes also.
- With all the turmoil in the world, the US benefits from its two greatest allies... The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
- If your body was the size of the Atlantic ocean, your red blood cells would be the size of the Titanic Let that sink in
- If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car... Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!
- "It's not about the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean"... But it's hard to get cross the Atlantic with a rowboat
- What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean? You need to be more Pacific.
*cymbal clash*
- What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? You get a little over halfway.
- heard on The View this morning (courtesy of Fozzie Bear) What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?......Half-way.
- Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton go sailing on Atlantic Ocean. The ship sinks. Who dies? Who survives? Both die. USA citizens survive.
- Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
- May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the n**... surrendered...
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Atlantic Ocean One Liners
Which atlantic ocean one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with atlantic ocean? I can suggest the ones about ocean and middle of the ocean.
- What do you get if you cross the Atlantic Ocean in the Titanic? About half way.
- What do you get when you travel to the Atlantic Ocean on a ship? About half-way.
- I live near an ocean—not the Atlantic. Can you be more Pacific?
- I identify as the second largest oceanic division... I am a Trans-Atlantic.
- If beauty was a drop of water, then you would be the Atlantic Ocean.
- What do you call the Atlantic Ocean when it's sad? The Emotion.
- Where's the Lantic Ocean? Atlantic
- What did the Pacific ocean say to the Atlantic ocean? Wanna meet up for some Indian?
- What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean? Columbus
- Yo mama is so fat when she ordered a waterbed, I gave her the atlantic ocean.
- What separates man from animal? The Atlantic Ocean.
- What did Indian Ocean said to Atlantic Ocean? Nothing.. They just waved.
Cheerful Atlantic Ocean Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about atlantic ocean you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bottom ocean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make atlantic ocean pranks.
A boat in the Atlantic ocean was starting to sink...
... The captain gathered everyone and said "OK everyone, it looks like we are going down, does anyone know how to pray?" One of the ships crew members sitting in the back raises his hand and Hays "yes captain I know how to pray." The captain responds "OK well you start praying and everyone else put a life jacket on, we're short one jacket."
Another joke from my 95 year old grandpa.
Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.
The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argument, they decided against them all.
Indian, it didn't even matter.
This is Captain Leonardo Ricardo speaking,
On behalf of my crew and I, I'd like to welcome you on board flight 633 from New York to Abu Dhabi. We are on the air above 38,000 feet across Atlantic Ocean.
If you you look outside the window, you will see that the wing has fallen off and the engine is on fire. If you look down the window, you will see a little yellow boat on the ocean. Inside the boat are 3 people waving at you, that's me, the Co-pilot and your Air hostess.
This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic c**.
.. on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean.
Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef.
They start debating how to open the can without can-opener.
Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it.
Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire.
Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Three supermodels are on a plane that's going down over the Atlantic Ocean
While they're putting on their life preservers, they start talking about what they're going to wear.
The white woman says I'm going to wear my hot pink bikini, because when they rescue us they'll easily be able to see it and hot pink really accentuates my features.
The Hispanic woman says I'm going to wear my bright yellow bikini because it really brings out my eyes and it's much more visible than hot pink is so I'll be rescued first.
The black woman says I'm going to go n**...
Perplexed, the other two ask why.
She answers because in a plane c**... the first thing they look for is the little black box!
An atheist is deep sea fishing.
An atheist is out on the Atlantic ocean deep sea fishing when his boat is attacked by the Kraken. Huge tentacles wrap around the boat and begin to rip it in two. He looks over the boat straight into the jaws of the beast and screams "Oh God! Help!"
Time freezes. A ray of light shines down on him and he hears a deep voice say "I thought you didn't believe I was real."
"Come on, God, cut me a break!" the man responds. "A few seconds ago, I didn't believe the Kraken was real either!"
Air Force One
Air Force One was carrying the President over the Atlantic Ocean for an international peace conference. One of the Secret Service agents approached the President, "Sir, there's a problem with the septic system. It's too full and it's starting to ice over."
The President replied, "Can't you just flush the system into the atmosphere?"
Secret service agent says, "No sir, I can't do that"
President asks, "Why not?"
Secret service agent, "Sir, I can't initiate an icy BM launch unless you give me the proper authorization codes."
p**... is standing at the edge of Ireland praying
p**... is standing at the edge of Ireland praying,
"Dear lord, I wish to see my mother and father in America, but I cannot fly because I'm scared of heights, and I cannot sail because I'm afraid of drowning"
And God answers him, "p**..., if you cannot sail and you cannot fly, what would you like me to do?". p**... replies, "You could build a bridge reaching all the way across the Atlantic ocean to New York", and God says "p**... this is something I cannot do, the Atlantic ocean is far too large and deep for any bridge to be built".
p**... thinks for a second and says "Well, could you give me the ability to understand a woman's brain?", and God replies "Do you want lights on that bridge?"
So this plane is flying over the atlantic.
So this plane is flying over the Atlantic Ocean. The captain comes over the loudspeaker and says, "One of our engines is malfunctioning but we should still make it to our destination just a little late.".
30 minutes and everyone hears a loud BOOM. The passengers get nervous and start looking at each other. The captain comes over the loudspeaker again, "We uh... have a problem. Another engines has gone out and we won't have enough fuel to make it. We've dumped our luggage and now we have to make the unfortunate request to have some of our passengers jump out."
The flight attendant pops the hatch. A well dressed gentleman goes to the hatch and proclaims in a British accent, "Remember the queen of England!" before jumping out.
Next a large frenchman goes to the front and proclaims in a thick accent, "Remember le president!" before jumping out.
Next a Texan moseys on up to the air lock and yells "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" then he throws two Mexicans out the door.
George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean.
After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are".
Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover.
George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground".
So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?"
The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air".
George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer".
And Harry says "How can you tell?".
George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless".
That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry:
They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".