Atlantic Jokes
54 atlantic jokes and hilarious atlantic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about atlantic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read some of the funniest jokes about the Atlantic Ocean and its related coastlines, including Atlantic City, Atlantic Canada, Virgin Atlantic, and Chase Atlantic. Find out why the Pacific, or any airliner, will never attempt to cross the Gulf!
Funniest Atlantic Short Jokes
Short atlantic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The atlantic humour may include short pacific jokes also.
- With all the turmoil in the world, the US benefits from its two greatest allies... The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
- If your body was the size of the Atlantic ocean, your red blood cells would be the size of the Titanic Let that sink in
- If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car... Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!
- "It's not about the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean"... But it's hard to get cross the Atlantic with a rowboat
- What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean? You need to be more Pacific.
*cymbal clash*
- The Titanic: the unsinkable ship Many said it would go down in history but I say it went down in the Atlantic
- So hurricane Jose is growing in the Atlantic.. It's going to set records as the first hurricane to put a new roof on your house...
- What do the Florida Panthers and the RMS Titanic have in common? They're both stuck at the bottom of the Atlantic.
- Your mother is like the Atlantic Seaboard. Huge, rough around the edges, and everyone has 24/7 access to her.
- Did you hear about the guy who tried to get on a flight with a train ticket? Yeah, it was a trains\-atlantic flight!
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Atlantic One Liners
Which atlantic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with atlantic? I can suggest the ones about airliner and gulf.
- What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with The Titanic? About half way..
- How many South Americans does it take to cross the Atlantic A Brazilian
- What do you get when you travel to the Atlantic Ocean on a ship? About half-way.
- I live near an ocean—not the Atlantic. Can you be more Pacific?
- I identify as the second largest oceanic division... I am a Trans-Atlantic.
- If beauty was a drop of water, then you would be the Atlantic Ocean.
- What do you call the Atlantic Ocean when it's sad? The Emotion.
- Where's the Lantic Ocean? Atlantic
- What did the Pacific ocean say to the Atlantic ocean? Wanna meet up for some Indian?
- What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean? Columbus
- What separates man from animal? The Atlantic Ocean.
Atlantic Ocean Jokes
Here is a list of funny atlantic ocean jokes and even better atlantic ocean puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- heard on The View this morning (courtesy of Fozzie Bear) What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?......Half-way.
- Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton go sailing on Atlantic Ocean. The ship sinks. Who dies? Who survives? Both die. USA citizens survive.
- Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
Silly & Ridiculous Atlantic Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about atlantic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ferry jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make atlantic pranks.
Q: What do the Buffalo Sabres and the Titanic have in common?
A: They're both at the bottom of the Atlantic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the n**... surrendered...
George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean.
After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are".
Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover.
George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground".
So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?"
The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air".
George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer".
And Harry says "How can you tell?".
George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless".
That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry:
They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.
This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
A ship is sinking in the middle of Atlantic...
A ship is going down in the middle of Atlantic. There's no hope, the captain is desperate, and suddenly someone tells him that among the passengers, there's a rabbi who can perform miracles.
The rabbi is immediately brought to the captain, and he implores him:
-- Rabbi, what can be done?!
-- Do you still have the internet connection?
-- Yes!
-- Sell the ship!
A woman in Atlantic city was losing at the roulette wheel...
When she was down to her last ten dollars, she asked the fellow next to her for a good number. "Why don't you play your age?" he suggested. The woman agreed, and then put her money on the table. The next thing the fellow with the advice knew, the woman had fainted and fallen to the floor. He rushed right over. "Did she win?" he asked. "No," replied the attendant. "She put ten dollars on 29 and 41 came in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... is standing at the edge of Ireland praying
p**... is standing at the edge of Ireland praying,
"Dear lord, I wish to see my mother and father in America, but I cannot fly because I'm scared of heights, and I cannot sail because I'm afraid of drowning"
And God answers him, "p**..., if you cannot sail and you cannot fly, what would you like me to do?". p**... replies, "You could build a bridge reaching all the way across the Atlantic ocean to New York", and God says "p**... this is something I cannot do, the Atlantic ocean is far too large and deep for any bridge to be built".
p**... thinks for a second and says "Well, could you give me the ability to understand a woman's brain?", and God replies "Do you want lights on that bridge?"
A boat in the Atlantic ocean was starting to sink...
... The captain gathered everyone and said "OK everyone, it looks like we are going down, does anyone know how to pray?" One of the ships crew members sitting in the back raises his hand and Hays "yes captain I know how to pray." The captain responds "OK well you start praying and everyone else put a life jacket on, we're short one jacket."
Another joke from my 95 year old grandpa.
An atheist is deep sea fishing.
An atheist is out on the Atlantic ocean deep sea fishing when his boat is attacked by the Kraken. Huge tentacles wrap around the boat and begin to rip it in two. He looks over the boat straight into the jaws of the beast and screams "Oh God! Help!"
Time freezes. A ray of light shines down on him and he hears a deep voice say "I thought you didn't believe I was real."
"Come on, God, cut me a break!" the man responds. "A few seconds ago, I didn't believe the Kraken was real either!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I s**... identify as a vast body of water of more than 100 million square kilometres
Can I be trans-atlantic?
Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.
The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argument, they decided against them all.
Indian, it didn't even matter.
What is this "hurricane harvey"
Here in the north we call it the war of Atlantic aggression
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A UN delegation was flying across the Atlantic...
A Brit, a Frenchman, an American, and a Mexican are told by the pilot that they are too heavy and may c**....
They pop the hatch and toss out all the luggage, but they're still too heavy.
They rip out the seats and toss them, but they're still too heavy.
The Brit stands up and yells God save the Queen! and jumps out, but they're still too heavy.
The Frenchman stands and yells Vive la France! and jumps out, but they're still too heavy.
The American stands and yells Remember the Alamo! and throws out the Mexican.
45000 feet above the Atlantic, the aircraft engine fails
And the captain declares an emergency. Everyone aboard the plane was scared shitless. A passenger sitting next to the pastor loses it and screams, 'Don't just sit there, do something religious!'.
The pastor promptly took up a collection.....
This is Captain Leonardo Ricardo speaking,
On behalf of my crew and I, I'd like to welcome you on board flight 633 from New York to Abu Dhabi. We are on the air above 38,000 feet across Atlantic Ocean.
If you you look outside the window, you will see that the wing has fallen off and the engine is on fire. If you look down the window, you will see a little yellow boat on the ocean. Inside the boat are 3 people waving at you, that's me, the Co-pilot and your Air hostess.
This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you ever hear the story of Captain Richard, who smuggled potatoes across the Atlantic?
He ran a d**...-tater-ship
Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.
They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane.
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.
The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.
Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.
