The Best 49 Athletes Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Athletes jokes. There are some athletes athlete jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these athletes janeiro puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Athletes Jokes and Puns

I don't get why pro athletes feel the need to hit women...

...just reply to the next one in your DMs if she isn't acting right.

Gatorades competition.

Upon the inception of Gatorade at the University of Florida, and the strides the teams were making on the field, Florida State University *also* tried to make their own energy drink for student athletes.

Unfortunately no one wanted to drink the "*Seminole Fluid*"...

Why do athletes run counterclockwise around a track?

Because they use running as a way to *unwind*.

Athletes joke, Why do athletes run counterclockwise around a track?

Outside of the athletes village at the Olympics I saw a guy walking with a pole vault..

I asked him " are you a pole vaulter ?"
To which he replied "nein, I am German. How did you know my name vas Vaulter?"

Why doesn't Cuba have a soccer team?

All their athletes are training for distance swimming.

The Malaysian athletes at the Commonwealth Games are looking very nervous

Must be thinking about the flight home already.

What do they call a list of athletes in Jamaica?

A rasta.

Athletes joke, What do they call a list of athletes in Jamaica?

Why are there so few Mexican athletes in the Olympics?

Because most of them who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.

I've compiled a list of famous athletes who have spent time in prison.

It's a pros and cons list.

Why don't professional athletes ride bikes to warm-up before games?

Because then they'd be two tired

Banned From the Para-Olympics

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40.

You can explore athletes athletic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean athletes paralympic dad jokes. There are also athletes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why should you always wash your delicate undergarments separate from your socks?

To prevent yourself from getting athletes crotch !

Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016?

Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave.

What do French athletes wear?

Jaques straps

why aren't there any Mexican athletes?

Because all the Mexicans who can run, swim or jump are already in the USA.

Rio is full of liars, cheaters, thieves, and drug abusers.

And that's just the athletes.

Athletes joke, Rio is full of liars, cheaters, thieves, and drug abusers.

Say what you want about Russian Athletes

But their training regimen is pretty dope

North Korea athletes...

North Korea athletes, who fail to win gold medals in this year's Olympic Games, will have a chance to win gold medals in the next Paralympic Games.

How bad was the Rio 2016 Olympic?

None of the North Korean athletes defected.

Wheelchair athletes have just been banned from the Paralympics

They tested positive for WD40

I just read on the news that 10 Paralympics athletes have failed a drugs test

They all tested positive for WD40

If you walk a mile in my shoes ..

you'll probably end up with athletes foot.

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missile toe.

Why aren't there any Politically Correct Track and Field athletes

They don't see race

What impresses me the most about Tour de France athletes is that they can go for five hours

without looking at their cellphones.

My friend just told me people of African descent are genetically engineered to become D1 athletes

So are Asians if you add an M

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do candy makers get?

Tic tac toe

In ancient Greece, athletes had sex with their trainers to show respect.

Someone should tell Larry Nassar this isn't ancient Greece.

Russian athletes in Olympics wont compete under their flag

So the tradition continues...

North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won't win.

Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea

Which country brought the most competitors to the 2018 Winter Olympics?

Brazil. They brought 8 Brazilian athletes.

"I'd like to welcome all the athletes to the Olympic Games"

"I'd also like to welcome the curling teams"

What would you call a worldwide gathering of male athletes who have ED?

The Olympdicks.

I am totally not a racist but...

Compared to all the others types of races, I think the 400 meter hurdles present the most barriers for track athletes.

Professional female athletes are tasty

because they're chick contenders

It's unfortunate that a lot of female professional athletes are gay.

They have amazing ball skills.

What professional sport would be more fun to watch if the athletes drank alcohol during?


How do track and field athletes stay buff?

Lapping compound

Why do paid athletes weigh more than felons?

Because the pro's outweigh the cons.

Why are Mexicans and Olympic Athletes so similiar?

They both know to sprint at the sound of a gun.

Why are unvaccinated children such good athletes?

Because they can catch anything

Only athletes will understand this

It's a running joke.

Why are women athletes so upset about losing to transgender females?


Do I need to wear socks when I have a shoe

bless me, when I have athletes foot?

It's significantly harder for athletes to perform in todays temperatures

I've read in the newspaper that the Government has forbidden fans at sport events

Ancient athletes performed naked to imitate the Gods

But whenever I do it I lose my job as a school teacher

My wife and I played that game where you write down 5 people we're allowed to sleep with

Ourside of our marriage

She gave me her list and I scoffed at the predictability

Celebrities, athletes, she didn't stand a chance!

However as she read mine a look of complete horror swept over her face

And I was grabbing my coat when she screamed "where the hell are you going?!"

"I'm going round to see your sister," I said "good luck getting through to George Clooney's agent"

Hitler once ran a race against the top German athletes, and they all slowed down to let him win.

He thought he was the fascist man in Germany.

Some people are upset that Profesional athletes get payed so much

But really it makes sense.

After a few years of training an athlete is playing professionally.

After more than a decade of work and education most doctors are still practicing.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the athletes laps jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working athletes sport piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes