Athe Jokes
97 athe jokes and hilarious athe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about athe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Athe Short Jokes
Short athe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The athe humour may include short solve jokes also.
- What are the three greatest lies? a)the check is in the mail
b)small is beatiful
c)I won't come in your mouth - My friend, Ath, had his mom kidnapped. The man, while running away was seen coughing severely.
A Witness at the scene said: he's got Ath's ma! - Indian Farmer vs leaf Q: an Indian farmer and a leaf falls from the tree. What will hit the ground first?
A:the leaf. The rope stopped the farmer - Anti jokes are why I live Q: What's worse then finding a worm inside your apple?
A:The hollocost
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Athe One Liners
Which athe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with athe? I can suggest the ones about shut and church.
- A man just threw a glass of milk at me...... how dairy?!?!
Shout out ATH - What do you call an agnostic? An athe-ish.
- why didnt saddam hussein take a shower he wanted to take a ba'ath
- Q. How did the blonde die while drinking milk? A.The cow sat down.
- Q:Why did the banana walk out of the movie theater? A:the film didn't appeal to him.
- All dogs go to heaven... But all snakes are athe-hissssssssssts
Cheerful Fun Athe Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about athe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean atheist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make athe pranks.
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
Just o**... stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."
"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
What is atheism?
A non-prophet organisation.
As an atheist I find tell my maths teacher I shouldn't have to solve exponential factors
because I don't believe in higher powers
An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast ...
An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast and noticed all the community centre events for either Catholics or Protestants. After checking out yet another board, he asked a staff member:
Atheist: "What do you do in this town if you're an Atheist?"
Staff member: "Well sir, that depends on whether you're a Catholic atheist or a Protestant atheist."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does an atheist yell during s**...?
Oh, nothing!
An atheist in the forest...
stumbles upon a bear. The bear rears up to attack and the atheist yells "oh god no!" time stops and he hears the voice of god say "you called for me my son?" the atheist responds "I would ask you to save me, but that would be hypocritical, so instead, can you make the bear a christian?" he hears "I shall do this for you my son". Time resumes and the bear stops, puts his paws together and says "God in the heavens.... thank you for this meal you have provided me with today, amen"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
About 2/3 of the Atheists I know were raised catholic, and I can't help but wonder...
Was the s**... really that bad?
An Atheist Walks Into A Bar...
An Atheist walks into a bar with God, Thor, and Zeus.
The bartender looks at him and says
"Drinking alone again, I see..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?
Well I'll be d**...!
An Atheist was in the woods and a bear came after him,
He got so scared, he looked up to heaven and yelled "OH MY GOD! Help me!"
And a voice from Heaven came down and asked, "Does that mean you want to be a Christian?"
The Atheist thinks a little bit and says, "No, make the bear a Christian."
The bear, almost ready to attack, then a miracle happened. The bear's paws came together in prayer form, looked up to Heaven and said, "Bless this food which I'm about to eat."
-Frank De Lima
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So this atheist explorer is in trouble...
...with a tribe of savage cannibals. He's cornered with no possible way out when he exclaims in his desperation 'God, I'm s**...!'
Suddenly the clouds part and a booming voice says 'No son, you are not. Take that rock near your right foot and throw it at that old cannibal with the large headdress!'
The explorer obeys, and the chief of the tribe lies dead on the ground.
The voice says 'NOW you're s**...!'
My atheist, mathematician friend insists religion is negative...
Because at it's root, it's imaginary!
How can you tell someone's an atheist?
You can't. They'll always tell you first.
An Atheist is having a conversation with her friend.
She says, "So I recently joined an Atheist club at my school." Her friend says, "Cool! So do you guys meet regularly?", to which she responds, "Ehhhh...not religiously."
Where do atheists donate their money?
Non Prophet Organizations
Being atheist is like buying a floor model
No assembly required.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does an Atheist say when he has a disease?
Hey Doc, I think I have a ma' lady.
An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar...
His name is Chaz.
Did you know atheism
Is a non prophet organization
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are atheists so light?
The have no mass.
Why did the Atheist fail algebra?
He didn't believe in higher powers.
Why didn't the atheist businesswoman make any money?
She didn't believe in prophets.
How does an atheist start their prayers?
To Whom It May Concern
I was an atheist in my youth.
I was converted when I realized I married the devil.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Atheist, a Vegan, and a Jehovah's Witness walk into a bar..
I know because they told everyone in less than a minute.
I'm an atheist with a god-complex...
...which explains why all my highschool teachers always said I never believed in myself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do atheists scream out 'oh my God' during s**...?
Because it's unbelievable.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Atheist...
Walks up to the Pearly Gates. God says, "I will let you in if you can make me laugh."
The Atheist asks, "who is the greatest Jewish baker of all time? h**.... He made over 60,000 Jews toast."
God looks at him and says, "A holocaust joke? That is not really funny."
The atheist replied, "Eh, I guess you should have been there."
An atheist walks into a bar...
No one dies and everyone has a good time.
Why did the atheist go to church?
To use the Pokéstop.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.
One prefers to use its head, while the others relies on tales...
So an atheist man lives in a over conservative Irish neighborhood...
... and calls a cab. The heavily accented cab driver says to him, "Before you get in, I gotta know your religion."
So he replied, "Oh, no, I'm an atheist, actually."
The cab driver stared at him a moment before asking, "Yeah, but is it the Catholic God you don't believe in or the Protestant one?"
As an atheist, I often wonder : "what would Jesus do ?"
and then I do nothing
Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro?
They don't believe in higher power.
How does an atheist girl have her hair done?
In big bangs!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An atheistic dyslexic...
Believes there is no Dog.
How do you know someone's an atheist vegan engineer who does crossfit?
Don't worry, you'd know
After being an atheist for so long, I am now a catholic.
Idk. I just really like cats
What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?
There is no cod
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was an atheist
Until I found out I was a s**... god.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar.
I know because they posted it repeatedly on Facebook.
An atheist, dyslexic insomniac spends all his nights wondering
About the existence of dog.
Why do atheist organizations make little money?
They are non-prophets
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
*Two. One screws in the light bulb and the other records the events to prove God didn't do it.*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was an atheist my whole life until I died, went to heaven, and found out God is real
Well I'll be d**....
An atheist orphan receives an Academy Award.
"I have no one to thank, but myself."
An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar
I know because they told me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Atheism and religion are like two sides of the same coin...
One thinks with their heads while the other relies on tails.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. The atheist actually changes the light bulb, rather than praying that it will be done.
An atheist walks into a bar that's full, and someone gets up and offers him a space. Why doesn't he take it?
Because then he'd be a theist.
Atheist walks into a church...
...and he can't believe it!
Why don't atheists use squares?
Cause most of them are not carpenters that believe in higher powers.
Atheists definition
People who be leavin' God.
I don't believe in atheism
I'm not sure about agnosticism
nihilism means nothing to me.
Two atheists were lost in a desert.
Two atheists were lost in a desert. They had run out of supplies and were wandering aimlessly.
One morning, they encountered a Muslim. The Muslim asked, "What are your names?"
The first, figuring the Muslim would be more likely to help a fellow Muslim, lied and said, "My name is Mohammed."
The second stayed honest and said, "My name is Dave."
The Muslim gave Dave a hearty breakfast. He turned to "Mohammed" and said, "Fasting is so hard, isn't it?"
An atheist, a feminist and a vegan walk into a bar
I know this because they told everyone there within 5 minutes of being there.
An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar...
But they were all silent compared to the person who invested in bitcoin
An atheist vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard and doesn't own a TV walks into a bar
He sits down at the bar, orders a beer, turns to the guy next to him...
...and has no idea what to say.
An atheist, a feminist, and a Trump supporter walk into a bar
I know because they each told me within the first 10 seconds of meeting them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do atheists and all my ex girlfriends have in common?
No expectation of a coming of any kind
What does an atheist say when he sees god?
I can't believe it
How can you tell who's an atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter in a crowd of people?
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
An atheist walks into heaven...
...goes immediately to the complaint department.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If atheism is a religion...
then abstinence is a s**... position.
Why does Atheist Jesus have low self esteem?
He doesn't believe in himself.
What did the atheist decide to change his last name to?
Godfrey.
What happens when an atheist prays?..
The same thing that happens when a Christian does.
As an atheist here's what I think happens when we die:
An atheist and a religious zealot met for dinner and ended up in a huge argument. What was for dinner?
Cod
What happens when an atheist and a Jehova's witness have a son?
He knocks door to door for no reason at all.
What is atheism
A non-prothet activity
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are all atheists bad at math?
The don't believe in higher powers
What does an atheist call the meeting of Muhammad, Moses, and Joseph Smith?
A non-prophet organization
Where did the Athenian keep his amphora?
In the Attica
Why should atheists be exempted from tax?
Because atheism is a non-prophet organisation!
Why shouldn't atheists pay taxes?
They are not for prophets
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Even though I'm an Atheist, this made me laugh.
On the sign in front of one of the churches in my town:
TOO HOT TO CHANGE THE SIGN
GOD GOOD, SINNING BAD
MORE INFORMATION INSIDE
I used to be atheist
But then I saw her face
