Athe Jokes
98 athe jokes and hilarious athe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about athe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Athe Short Jokes
Short athe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The athe humour may include short higher jokes also.
- What are the three greatest lies? a)the check is in the mail
b)small is beatiful
c)I won't come in your mouth - My friend, Ath, had his mom kidnapped. The man, while running away was seen coughing severely.
A Witness at the scene said: he's got Ath's ma! - Indian Farmer vs leaf Q: an Indian farmer and a leaf falls from the tree. What will hit the ground first?
A:the leaf. The rope stopped the farmer - Anti jokes are why I live Q: What's worse then finding a worm inside your apple?
A:The hollocost - Thor gets drunk, b**... out and wakes up next to a man. Confused, he looks at the man and says, "I AM THOR."
And they guy says, "You think you're thore, my ath is killing me."
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Athe One Liners
Which athe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with athe? I can suggest the ones about solve and shut.
- A man just threw a glass of milk at me...... how dairy?!?!
Shout out ATH - I swear if anyone makes fun of Mike Tyson... I'll whoop their ath!
- What do you call an agnostic? An athe-ish.
- why didnt saddam hussein take a shower he wanted to take a ba'ath
- Q. How did the blonde die while drinking milk? A.The cow sat down.
- Q:Why did the banana walk out of the movie theater? A:the film didn't appeal to him.
- All dogs go to heaven... But all snakes are athe-hissssssssssts
Cheerful Fun Athe Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about athe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean church jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make athe pranks.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
Just o**... stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."
"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
What is atheism?
A non-prophet organisation.
As an atheist I find tell my maths teacher I shouldn't have to solve exponential factors
because I don't believe in higher powers
How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.
An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast ...
An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast and noticed all the community centre events for either Catholics or Protestants. After checking out yet another board, he asked a staff member:
Atheist: "What do you do in this town if you're an Atheist?"
Staff member: "Well sir, that depends on whether you're a Catholic atheist or a Protestant atheist."
What does an atheist yell during s**...?
Oh, nothing!
An atheist in the forest...
stumbles upon a bear. The bear rears up to attack and the atheist yells "oh god no!" time stops and he hears the voice of god say "you called for me my son?" the atheist responds "I would ask you to save me, but that would be hypocritical, so instead, can you make the bear a christian?" he hears "I shall do this for you my son". Time resumes and the bear stops, puts his paws together and says "God in the heavens.... thank you for this meal you have provided me with today, amen"
About 2/3 of the Atheists I know were raised catholic, and I can't help but wonder...
Was the s**... really that bad?
An Atheist Walks Into A Bar...
An Atheist walks into a bar with God, Thor, and Zeus.
The bartender looks at him and says
"Drinking alone again, I see..."
Atheism
It's a non-prophet religion.
What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?
Well I'll be d**...!
An Atheist was in the woods and a bear came after him,
He got so scared, he looked up to heaven and yelled "OH MY GOD! Help me!"
And a voice from Heaven came down and asked, "Does that mean you want to be a Christian?"
The Atheist thinks a little bit and says, "No, make the bear a Christian."
The bear, almost ready to attack, then a miracle happened. The bear's paws came together in prayer form, looked up to Heaven and said, "Bless this food which I'm about to eat."
-Frank De Lima
So this atheist explorer is in trouble...
...with a tribe of savage cannibals. He's cornered with no possible way out when he exclaims in his desperation 'God, I'm s**...!'
Suddenly the clouds part and a booming voice says 'No son, you are not. Take that rock near your right foot and throw it at that old cannibal with the large headdress!'
The explorer obeys, and the chief of the tribe lies dead on the ground.
The voice says 'NOW you're s**...!'
My atheist, mathematician friend insists religion is negative...
Because at it's root, it's imaginary!
Why are atheists poor?
because its a non-prophet organisation.
An atheist, a vegan, and a marathon runner walk into a bar...
I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.
An atheist and a vegan walks into a bar...
I know that because they told everybody.
Where do atheists donate their money?
Non Prophet Organizations
Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations?
They don't believe in higher powers.
Did you know atheism
Is a non prophet organization
Why are atheists so light?
The have no mass.
Why did the Atheist fail algebra?
He didn't believe in higher powers.
How does an atheist start their prayers?
To Whom It May Concern
An atheist, a vegan, and a cross fit enthusiast walk into a bar.
And everyone knows because he won't shut up about it.
An Atheist, a Vegan, and a Jehovah's Witness walk into a bar..
I know because they told everyone in less than a minute.
I'm an atheist with a god-complex...
...which explains why all my highschool teachers always said I never believed in myself.
Why do atheists scream out 'oh my God' during s**...?
Because it's unbelievable.
An Atheist...
Walks up to the Pearly Gates. God says, "I will let you in if you can make me laugh."
The Atheist asks, "who is the greatest Jewish baker of all time? h**.... He made over 60,000 Jews toast."
God looks at him and says, "A holocaust joke? That is not really funny."
The atheist replied, "Eh, I guess you should have been there."
An atheist walks into a bar...
No one dies and everyone has a good time.
Why are atheists afraid of exponents?
They don't believe in a higher power.
Why did the atheist go to church?
To use the Pokéstop.
Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.
One prefers to use its head, while the others relies on tales...
So an atheist man lives in a over conservative Irish neighborhood...
... and calls a cab. The heavily accented cab driver says to him, "Before you get in, I gotta know your religion."
So he replied, "Oh, no, I'm an atheist, actually."
The cab driver stared at him a moment before asking, "Yeah, but is it the Catholic God you don't believe in or the Protestant one?"
As an atheist, I often wonder : "what would Jesus do ?"
and then I do nothing
Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro?
They don't believe in higher power.
An atheistic dyslexic...
Believes there is no Dog.
An atheist and a vegan walk into a bar...
The only reason I know this is because they both told everybody.
After being an atheist for so long, I am now a catholic.
Idk. I just really like cats
An Atheist, a Vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar
I only know that because they told everyone all about it within 2 minutes... and again..and again.
What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?
There is no cod
An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar.
I know because they posted it repeatedly on Facebook.
Why do atheist organizations make little money?
They are non-prophets
How many atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
*Two. One screws in the light bulb and the other records the events to prove God didn't do it.*
I was an atheist my whole life until I died, went to heaven, and found out God is real
Well I'll be d**....
An atheist, a vegan...
...and a CrossFitter walk into a bar. The whole bar knew this within 2 minutes.
An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar
I know because they told me.
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. The atheist actually changes the light bulb, rather than praying that it will be done.
An atheist walks into a bar that's full, and someone gets up and offers him a space. Why doesn't he take it?
Because then he'd be a theist.
An Atheist, a Feminist, and a Vegan walk into a bar.
I know because they made sure everyone did.
Atheists definition
People who be leavin' God.
Two atheists were lost in a desert.
Two atheists were lost in a desert. They had run out of supplies and were wandering aimlessly.
One morning, they encountered a Muslim. The Muslim asked, "What are your names?"
The first, figuring the Muslim would be more likely to help a fellow Muslim, lied and said, "My name is Mohammed."
The second stayed honest and said, "My name is Dave."
The Muslim gave Dave a hearty breakfast. He turned to "Mohammed" and said, "Fasting is so hard, isn't it?"
An atheist, a feminist and a vegan walk into a bar
I know this because they told everyone there within 5 minutes of being there.
An atheist, vegan, and crossfitter walk into a bar
I don't know what happened because I left
An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar...
But they were all silent compared to the person who invested in bitcoin
An atheist vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard and doesn't own a TV walks into a bar
He sits down at the bar, orders a beer, turns to the guy next to him...
...and has no idea what to say.
What do atheists and all my ex girlfriends have in common?
No expectation of a coming of any kind
What does an atheist say when he sees god?
I can't believe it
What do atheists say to God?
You're unbelievable!
Why does the atheist cross the road?
He never will, the cross seems to religious...
An atheist started an organization
It was non-prophet
Why does Atheist Jesus have low self esteem?
He doesn't believe in himself.
Why can't atheist solve exponential equations?
Why can't atheist solve exponential equations?
.
.
.
(Well, because they don't believe in higher powers.) ^(4)
An atheist, a vegan, and a cross fitter walk into a bar.
The bartender walks to them and ask "what is the joke about?"
An Atheist, a Cross-fitter and a Vegan all walked into a bar...
....I knew because they told everyone in the place within the first five-minutes of arriving!
Why are all atheists bad at math?
The don't believe in higher powers
Where did the Athenian keep his amphora?
In the Attica
Why should atheists be exempted from tax?
Because atheism is a non-prophet organisation!
Why shouldn't atheists pay taxes?
They are not for prophets
I used to be atheist
But then I saw her face
Why do atheists give away all their unnecessary money?
They're a non-prophet organization
An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.
She snatched the atheist up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing thim up in the air. Just before the atheist fell into Nessie's jaws he cries out
"Oh god help me!"
Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheist. God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"
The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"
Why don't atheists pay taxes?
Because they belong to a non-prophet organization.
My atheist friend recently came out as transgender and decided to become a Christian.
They're a "she" now, but they were a heathen.
I'm an atheist with a god complex
I don't believe in myself
I'm an atheist, but I plan on converting to Christianity on my deathbed.
I figure better safe than sorry. I don't want to end up in h**... with the Evangelicals.
An atheist comes into a mall
And there is no parking spot, so he says "God, if you give me parking spot, I will convert myself and become Christian".
Two minutes later he says "Nevermind I found one"
Why are atheists bad at exponents?
Because they don't believe in a higher power.
A man is on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and is at the million dollar question.
The question is "which of these birds doesn't build its own nest? a.the cuckoo b. the sparrow c. the eagle or d. the red-tailed hawk. He only has "phone a friend left", so he calls his friend and repeats the question. His friend immediately says it's the cuckoo. The guy asks if he's sure and he says "yes, positive". The guy answers the cuckoo and wins a million dollars. When he goes to thank his friend the next day, he asks "how did you the cuckoo doesn't built it's own nest?" and the friend replied "Because it lives in a clock, duh!"
Atheism has a rubbish business model
It's non-prophet.
I'm an atheist but…
If I found out God was real I'd be like No way . And then God would be like Yahweh
Why did the atheist fail his math class?
He didn't believe in a higher power.
