Ate Lunch Jokes
36 ate lunch jokes and hilarious ate lunch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ate lunch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ate Lunch Short Jokes
Short ate lunch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ate lunch humour may include short lunch jokes also.
- A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference For example:
Johnny ate his own lunch after school.
Johnny ate his own colon after school. - The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence. Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch
becomes
Jimmy went to school and ate his colon - A colon in a sentence can make it memorable Jane ate her friend's lunch.
Jane ate her friend's colon.
See what I mean? - What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel.
- I couldn't stop sneezing after lunch today. ...I ate a sneezer salad.
(Also this is a true story, and I said this to my office :P)
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Ate Lunch One Liners
Which ate lunch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ate lunch? I can suggest the ones about lunch time and lunch break.
- I ate some alphabet soup and some laxatives for lunch I'm about to have a vowel movement
- The sandwich I ate for lunch reminded me of my dad.. gone.
- I ate too much bread at the Indian restaurant during lunch today. It was a naan issue.
- I ate a bad vegetarian kebab for lunch. Now I falafel.
- Did you hear about the guy who ate Mercury for lunch? and Uranus for breakfast?
- What is behind Kim Jong Un's exterior? The puppies he ate for lunch
- I made a table out of an old pallet and ate my lunch on it. It was un-pallet-table.
- The other day i went to school... ... and ate lunch alone.
- I ate a kids meal at McDonald's for lunch today His mom was p**...
- I ate a hermaphrodite lunch today... I had both a Ding d**... and a Yoohoo.
Ate Lunch Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about ate lunch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean breakfast lunch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ate lunch pranks.
One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H ...in Hour, Honour. ...etc. ...??????
My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent "....... (I was even more confused .....?????)
During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ....!!!!!!!
My English Teacher : What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.
I replied, "sir, I thought 'H' was silent.
A man prayed to God his entire life to win the lottery.
A man prayed to God every day for 65 years. He prayed in the morning, at lunchtime, in the evening and just before he went to sleep.
The man passed away and went to heaven. The man was rather upset with the Lord and sought him out.
When the man found the Lord, he said "I've been praying 65 years. Every day when I woke up, ate my lunch, had my dinner in the evening and just before I went to sleep. How come I never won??"
And the Lord said, "IT WOULD HAVE HELPED IF YOU BOUGHT A TICKET!"
A seventh grader asked his English teacher a question in class
"Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H .......in Hour, Honour. .....etc. She replied, "We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent."
During lunch break that day, the teacher gave the student her packed lunch and asked him to heat it in the Cafeteria. He ate all the food and returned her the empty container.
Shocked, she asked: "What happened? The boy replied: "Madam, I thought 'H' was silent.
Father shark teaches the son shark how to eat human
"Look boy, when you target a swimming human go close with your fin out of the water. Take a few laps around the target then you can eat. Does it make sense?"
"Yes, father. Thank you." the son replayed.
"Now go find your lunch" said the father.
The guy went in one direction and came back after some time.
"Did you find someone?" father.
"Yes dad."
"Did you do what I said?"
"Yes, I found a human and ate him?"
"Did you show your fin and make a few laps around the target?"
"No. I just ate him"
"Oh boy. You ate the s**... with that human."
Mr. Smith's Unusual Depression
Doctors were dumbfounded when they couldn't figure out why Mr. Smith was so depressed. They interviewed him about how his day had gone, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, they asked him what he ate and he said he had a watermelon smoothie with broccoli salad for lunch.
Then they realized, he was melonccoli.
Heaviest Lunch
This is a really old story my grandfather told me years ago.
When he was in elementary school in his tiny rural town, they pretty much ate what they grew or killed. Well he was going on a couple weeks of having nothing to eat for lunch at school beside mustard greens and a biscuit. He got tired of eating that, so one day he snuck into the classroom early and swapped his lunch with the heaviest lunch bag he could find.
When lunch time came, he grabbed his new lunch and sat down at the table to eat it. He opened the bag only to find two pecans and a ball peen hammer!
I thought 'H' is silent
One Day I asked Ms. Doris, our English teacher: "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation. eg the letter....'H'.......in Hour, Honest, Honor.....e.t.c.........???"
Ms. Doris: "We are not ignoring them; they are considered silent."!
(I was even more confused.........??)
During the lunch break, MS. Doris gave me her packed lunch & asked me to heat it in the cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her an empty container....!!
Ms. Doris: "What happened, I told you to go and HEAT my food & you are returning me an empty container??"
Me: "Madam I thought 'H' was silent"
The Robins
Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one.
"Me too," said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate until they could eat no more.
"I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one.
"Me neither. Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun," said the second.
They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up.
As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I just love 'baskin' robins.'"
Two robins were sitting in a tree.
"I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and ate till they could eat no more.
"I'm so full, I don't think I can fly back up into the tree," said the first one.
"Let's just lay back here and bask in the warm sun," said the second.
"O K," said the first.
So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat up and gobbled them up.
As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I FREAKIN' LOVE BASKIN ROBINS."
A man takes his mother to a nursing home.
A man and his family one day decided it was to take their mother to live at a nursing home.
When they arrived at the facility, her son went in to file paperwork and talk to the administrator while the mother sat on a bench outside of the office.
A rather nice orderly cam and sat down beside her and ate his lunch casually. He smiled as she gently closed her eyes, and appeared to fall asleep. Her body then leaned on his slightly, so politely as he coud he nudged her in to a sitting position again. Twice more she wound up leaning on him, and twice more the orderly gently nudged her off, until she opened her eyes and smiled at the young man.
At this time, the son walked out of the office and escorted his mother to the car. "How did you like it?" He asked his mother.
"It was great," she said, "but they won't let you f**...."
Two men were out camping in the mountains...
They had spent four days together and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south. Then tonight we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire." The second friend agrees and hikes south.
That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and found a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and we made love in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."
"Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was much better than mine. Was she pretty?" "I don't know," says the second friend eating his meal, "I couldn't find her head."