Astronomy Jokes

Following is our collection of planetary humor and astrophysics one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Astronomy puns for adults, dirty universe jokes or clean gastronomy gags for kids.

There is an abundance of constellation jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 28 funniest jokes on astronomy. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any astronomer witze you can hear about astronomy.

The Best jokes about Astronomy

An astronomy teacher prepared two boxes filled with joke cards. The first box was designed with asteroids and the second one with comets. He then let one of this students pick a box...

The student picked the one designed with asteroids. He pick one card and read the joke out loud to the class. The class, however, doesn't find the joke funny. Seeing this, the professor made the student pick another card on the same box. Same thing happened. The confused student look at his teacher and said,

"Sir, I think there is no funny joke in this asteroid box."

The teacher then replied,

"Hmmmm..That's strange. I guess the real joke is in the comets."

I was really disappointed when I came last in the astronomy competition, but they still gave me a map of the stars just for participating.

It was a constellation prize

A blonde was lying in the grass...

One afternoon, a college student is walking across the Green and sees a pretty blonde lying in the grass staring up at the clear blue sky.

"Getting a tan?" he asks.

"No! Do you think that just because I'm blonde I'm focussing on my looks? I'm actually a very good student and right now I'm getting a head start on my homework!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. What class is it for?"


My astronomy professor told me

I was his star pupil.

So I entered an astronomy contest the other day...

...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)

My Friend Failed Astronomy...

I failed too, if it's any constellation.


A man asks the worker at the astronomy museum how old the universe is. He responds 13.7 billion and 7 years old.

The man is puzzled how the worker knew the age to such precision. The worker answered, When I got this job, the person who hired me told me that the universe is 13.7 billion years old, and I've worked here for seven years.

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

So a popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed...

...A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "120." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on.

The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "100." So the robot started talking about the Superbowl, dirt bikes, and so on.

The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool." A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "80." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Poland these days?"

My astronomy professor told me it was possible for a white dwarf to turn into a red giant

I then told him to pull his pants back up.

I spent four years at college studying astronomy and didn't learn anything...

I guess you could say I took up space.

So my science teacher began her astronomy unit with star formation

She gave a stellar explanation.

Where are all the women in amateur astronomy?

At the other end of the telescope.

What do you call a COVID19 + person's sneeze?

Coronal Mass Ejection! ^Astr^ono^my

I tried to take an astronomy class

But remembering all those constellations really took its Ptolemy.

I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight.

The people who live above me are furious.

Did you meet the Astronomy major in our frat?

His name was Tycho, Brah

[OC] I thought of an astronomy joke tonight.

A shining star walks into a bar and the barmen says, "Wow, you're positively *scintillating*."

What did the Astronomy major say to the girl at the bar?

Baby, the Universe starts with U N I .

I have so much Astronomy work it's out of this world.

I'm not all that interested in Astronomy but,

I really dig Uranus.

I'm studying for my astronomy exam,

I really need to focus.

What do you get when you cross astronomy and cosmology with a dyslexic girl at starbucks?

Astrology, cosmetology, and a pumpkin space latte

Where does an alien go to learn about astronomy?


I've been researching the field of astronomy.

It's really looking up.

Astronomy Instructor: In modern physics Black holes matter ,,,

Student shouts: All holes matter...!

An astronomy joke, kind of...

Why do werewolves howl at the full moon?

Because it's just after the waxing phase!

How does the government remember the difference between Astronomy and Astrology?


Just like with "Eco-", you don't consider it a science if it ends with "-logy"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes