The Best 35 Astronomy Jokes

My son, who's into astronomy, asked me how stars die.

"Usually an overdose, son," I told him.

$tudent

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love,Your $on.~~~

Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love,Dad

I asked my astronomy professor, "How do stars die?"

He replied, "Usually an overdose."

A man goes to the doctor...

"Doctor, will I be ok?"

"I don't know, Mercury is in Uranus right now"

"I don't do astronomy doc"

"Me neither, my thermometer just broke"

My son is into astronomy.

He wanted to know how stars die. I told him, "Usually of an overdose, son."

Whenever I see an Astronomy discovery it reminds me of this joke

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician were on the train from London to Edinburgh, as they passed the Scottish border they saw a black sheep.

'Ah ha' said the astronomer 'from that I can deduce that in Scotland all sheep are black'

'No' said the physicist 'we can deduce that in Scotland some sheep are black'

'Actually' said the mathematician 'all we know is that in Scotland there is a field in which there is a sheep, one side of which is black'

I was really disappointed when I came last in the astronomy competition, but they still gave me a map of the stars just for participating.

It was a constellation prize

I took an astronomy class in college but it was harder than I expected.

I had to study day and night.

My son, who's into astronomy…

My son, who's into astronomy asked me how stars die.
I told him usually because of an overdose.

A blonde was lying in the grass...

One afternoon, a college student is walking across the Green and sees a pretty blonde lying in the grass staring up at the clear blue sky.

"Getting a tan?" he asks.

"No! Do you think that just because I'm blonde I'm focussing on my looks? I'm actually a very good student and right now I'm getting a head start on my homework!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. What class is it for?"

"Astronomy!"

My astronomy professor told me

I was his star pupil.

Was I wrong?

My brother, who's into astronomy, asked me how stars die. "Usually an overdose, bro," I told him.

My friend suggested that I get a telescope as I'm so interested in astronomy

I said I'll look into it.

So I entered an astronomy contest the other day...

...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)

13,700,000,007

A man asks the worker at the astronomy museum how old the universe is. He responds 13.7 billion and 7 years old.

The man is puzzled how the worker knew the age to such precision. The worker answered, When I got this job, the person who hired me told me that the universe is 13.7 billion years old, and I've worked here for seven years.

My Friend Failed Astronomy...

I failed too, if it's any constellation.

My son (who is into astronomy) asked me How do stars die?

I said "well some marry the wrong people, and others slap the shit out of each other."

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

I lost my astronomy job at the observatory

No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't stay focused

My Astronomy professor told me, Yo mamma's so fat

She has her own LaGrange points

I tried to take an astronomy class

But remembering all those constellations really took its Ptolemy.

My astronomy professor told me it was possible for a white dwarf to turn into a red giant

I then told him to pull his pants back up.

Where are all the women in amateur astronomy?

At the other end of the telescope.

I spent four years at college studying astronomy and didn't learn anything...

I guess you could say I took up space.

What do you call a COVID19 + person's sneeze?

Coronal Mass Ejection! ^Astr^ono^my

So my science teacher began her astronomy unit with star formation

She gave a stellar explanation.

I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight.

The people who live above me are furious.

Did you meet the Astronomy major in our frat?

His name was Tycho, Brah

What did the Astronomy major say to the girl at the bar?

Baby, the Universe starts with U N I .

I've been researching the field of astronomy.

It's really looking up.

[OC] I thought of an astronomy joke tonight.

A shining star walks into a bar and the barmen says, "Wow, you're positively *scintillating*."

I have so much Astronomy work it's out of this world.

I'm not all that interested in Astronomy but,

I really dig Uranus.

An astronomy joke, kind of...

Why do werewolves howl at the full moon?

Because it's just after the waxing phase!

Astronomy Instructor: In modern physics Black holes matter ,,,

Student shouts: All holes matter...!