Astronomical Jokes

Following is our collection of mars humor and orbit one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Astronomical puns for adults, dirty nasa jokes or clean spacex gags for kids.

There is an abundance of galaxies jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 23 funniest jokes on astronomical. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any spaceship witze you can hear about astronomical.

The Best jokes about Astronomical

Why did Elon Musk go broke?

Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?".

I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.

Picked up a hitchhiker last night

He said thanks! how do you know i'm not a serial killer though?
I replied the chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. Thanks but why'd you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?

I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.

So I picked up a hitchhiker the other day...

After he got in he turned to me and jokingly said "Thanks, by the way how do you know I'm not a serial killer or something". I replied, "C'mon, the chances of /two/ serial killers being in the same car are astronomical".


I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...

There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.

The width of a milk jug is 5.5"

Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches

93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,666,666,666 Feet

Divided by 5280

1,475,694,444 Miles

Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units

You get 15.8 AU's.

You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.

Why does everyone care about the eclipse?

Probably because it's significance is astronomical.

I wanted to buy a telescope....

But the cost is astronomical.

With this new Space Force being stood up...

I've already been hearing that enlistment bonuses are going to be astronomical.

I went to the annual stargazing conference yesterday....

...the turnout was astronomical.

Did you hear about NASA's astronomical discovery?

It was a fluke. I heard they didn't plan-et.


I picked up a hitchhiker the other day...

As he got in my car he said: Thanks for stopping. Aren't you afraid to pick up strangers, though? I could've been a serial killer for all you know

Nah , I said. The odds of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical

The new Space Force is going to cost the government billions in unforeseen expenses.

The military housing allowance will go through the roof because the cost of living in space is astronomical.

Why do actuaries always pack a bomb in their suitcase when they fly?

Because the odds of two bombs being on the same plane are astronomical.

The other day I picked up a hitchhiker, he asked "How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"

I said I don't worry about that, the chances of two serial killers being in the same car at once is astronomical!

I picked up a hitchhiker last night, and he said "Thanks, but why'd you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"

I said "The chances of picking up a second serial killer would be astronomical!"

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

I was talking to my science class...

...about Astronomical Units (Au). Our conversation was gold.

I wonder how many babies were conceived during the eclipse...

I'm sure it's astronomical.


I've been drawing some astronomical objects, but they haven't come out the way I'd hoped

on the bright side, I guess they could be messier.

I know I'll never be a rocket scientist...

because the amount of math they have to do is astronomical and I'm not very stellar at it.

What are the chances you'd bump into someone you know at a baseball game in Minute Maid Park?

Astronomical

Yo momma so fat that....

....her tape measure was in astronomical units.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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