Astronomical Jokes
38 astronomical jokes and hilarious astronomical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about astronomical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Astronomical Short Jokes
Short astronomical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The astronomical humour may include short astronomy jokes also.
- Picked up a hitchhiker last night He said thanks! how do you know i'm not a serial killer though?
I replied the chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical - Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day. I'm sorry.
- I picked up a hitchhiker the other day. He said "you're brave, how do you know I'm not a serial killer?" I said "the chances of two serial killers being in the same car is astronomical"
- Recently a wine aged in space was put up for sale I wanted to buy it, but the price was astronomical.
- After Astronomers discovered the Earth rotates about an axis... They got bored and decided to call it a day!
- I feel like the world really missed an opportunity by calling people that study the sky astronomers They should've called them skyentists.
- Why does everyone care about the eclipse? Probably because it's significance is astronomical.
- I saw a job posting for an Astronomer and it sounded pretty stress free. I'd just do a bunch of light reading all day.
- So 2 astronomers decided to throw a party They sit down for lunch and one of them says: ok, let's planet
- What does a proctologist and an astronomer have in common? When they look at Uranus, it is always on it's side.
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Astronomical One Liners
Which astronomical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with astronomical? I can suggest the ones about spectacular and magical.
- Why did elon musk go broke? Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.
- Why do astronomers love Game of Thrones? Because of its dwarf star.
- Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo? for meatier showers.
- Do you know why astronomers named the planet "Saturn?" It just had a nice ring to it.
- Why didn't nasa send a duck into space? The bill would be astronomical.
- Lock an astronomer in a basement... and they'll go star craving mad.
- Why do astronomers hate vegetarian restaurants? They need something meteor.
- Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution? He was following the Tsar.
- Why can't you send a duck to space? Because the bill would be astronomical.
- Pick up line for astronomers Baby, the universe starts with "U" "N" "I"
- I wanted to buy a telescope.... But the cost is astronomical.
- Why was the astronomer so good at finding new planets? He was out standing in his field
- Why did the astronomer take a steak to the bathroom? Because he wanted a meatier shower.
- What is a Mexican astronomer's favorite food? A Quasar-dilla.
- How much do astraunauts make? astronomical sums I guess
Rib-Tickling Astronomical Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about astronomical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gravitational jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make astronomical pranks.
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?".
I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. Thanks but why'd you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?
I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.
I picked up a hitchhiker last night.
He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"
I told him the chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomically low
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip.
After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Watson awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Holmes, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Holmes replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Sherlock says
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Watson?"
Watson was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Holmes, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!
Sherlock and Watson take a vacation
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
scared of flying
A friend of mine who was scared of flying and asked me one day: "What is the probability that
there will be a bomb on an airplane?" I responded that I really didn't know, but that it was certainly less than one in a million. So he asked: "Well, what is the probability that there are two bombs on an airplane?" I responded that (as long as these were independent events) it would be the square of the probability of having one bomb, which is 1 in a trillion
- a truly astronomical number. So, from that day forward he always carried a bomb with
him when he flew
Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
**They planet.**
Whenever I see an astronomy discovery it reminds me of this joke
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician were on the train from London to Edinburgh, as they passed the Scottish border they saw a black sheep.
'Ah ha' said the astronomer 'from that I can deduce that in Scotland all sheep are black'
'No' said the physicist 'we can deduce that in Scotland some sheep are black'
'Actually' said the mathematician 'all we know is that in Scotland there is a field in which there is a sheep, one side of which is black'
I picked up a hitch hiker
The man got in my car and said "Thank you for picking me up, but I mean how do you know I am not a serial killer or something?"
I said "I don't know for sure, but the chances of 2 serial killers being in one car would be astronomical"
Saw this on Quora months ago.
