The Best 76 Astro Jokes

Following is our collection of Astro jokes which are very funny. There are some astro hubble jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these astro naut puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Astro Jokes and Puns

Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee"

Astronaut 2: "In space no-one can. Here, use cream"

An astronaut was ejected from the ISS naked.

It's OK, though. He felt no pressure.

Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?

for meatier showers.

So there's two astronauts on a rocket...

One says to the other, "Get Ready, it's almost time for launch." To which the other says "Launch?! I haven't even had breakfast yet!"

When does an astronaut eat his favourite meal?

At launch time.


Why was the astronaut so sore?

He had a buildup of ga-lactic acid.

How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Both of them.

How did the astrologer cross the road?

In his Taurus!

What does a astronaut put in a sandwich?

Space Jam

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

I need space.

Why are there no astronauts on Twitch.tv?

Because in space, no one can hear you stream.

You can explore astro astrology reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean astro astronomy dad jokes. There are also astro puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Do you know why astronomers named the planet "Saturn?"

It just had a nice ring to it.

What did the astronaut say to the other when he pressed the wrong button?

I apollo-gize.

My astronomy professor told me

I was his star pupil.

Where do astronauts leave their spacecraft?

At parking meteors.

So 2 astronomers decided to throw a party

They sit down for lunch and one of them says: ok, let's planet

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

He needed space.

How does an astronaut cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

What does Neil Degrasse Tyson say to pickup a lady?

"Hey, would you like to get astro physical with my dark matter?"


An astrologer asks a lady if she wanted to know her husband's future...

To which she replied, "I decide his future, tell me about his past"

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day.

I'm sorry.

Not all astrophysicists are bad.

I'm sure at least one of them's a really Feynman.

Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship?

They need space.

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

If you're an astronaut..

and you don't end every relationship with "I need space" then you're just wasting your time

Why do astronomers love Game of Thrones?

Because of its dwarf star.

How many astronauts have probed Uranus?

Zero... there's too much gas.

THANK YOU ALL AND GOODNIGHT!

So two astronauts walk into a club on the moon...

One says to the other, "Let's bounce, this place has no atmosphere"

Why can't astronauts eat popsicles?

In space, no one can hear the ice cream truck.

An astronaut and an alien walk into a space bar...

The astronaut doesn't say anything to the alien.

The alien doesn't say anything to the astronaut.

I became an astronaut for my girlfriend but she still left me

I guess I misinterpreted her when she said she needed space

Q: How do astronomers organize a party?

**They planet.**

What does an astronaut say when he's sorry?

All my Apollo-gies.

Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon?

Because it was full.

What do astronauts use to enhance their performance?

Asteroids

Where do astronauts go to drink?

The bar.

Why is being an astronaut such an easy job?

No pressure.

What did one astronaut say to the other?

Stop mooning me, I can see Uranus.

What do astrounauts put in their toasts?

Space jam.

Astrologer and the man

Astrologer - You and your wife will have a long life together.

Man - Is there any solution to this problem?

How can you tell if an astronaut is gay?

You can't. There's no orientation in space.

What did the astronauts conclude after they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...

Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."

Astronauts must be having a blast

Because now they can say:
"Houston YOU have a problem"

Why do Astronauts go into space?

Because some men just wanna watch the world turn.

Why are Astronauts always so calm?

There's no pressure in space.

Why do astronauts think they are better than others?

Cause they're always looking down on us.

Astrology joke

I've got a cousin who was born with a rare condition that renders him speechless, deaf, blind, immobile, and unable to talk. He mostly lies in bed in a hospital, and we feed him through tubes. But underneath all that, you can totally tell he's got that typical wacky Capricorn sense of humor.

An astronomer, a physicist, and a mathematician in Scotland

An astronomer, a physicist, and a mathematician are on a train headed for Scotland. As they cross the border, they see a black sheep. The astronomer cries out, All sheep in Scotland are black. . The physicist says, Some sheep in Scotland are black . The mathematician raises his eyes heavenward and says, In Scotland, there is at least one field, with at least one sheep in it, one side of which is black!

An astronaut refused to return to Earth to see his girlfriend

he said he needed more space.

The astronomers were tired after following the moon for 24 hours

So they called it a day.

After Astronomers discovered the Earth rotates about an axis...

They got bored and decided to call it a day!

My astronomy professor told me it was possible for a white dwarf to turn into a red giant

I then told him to pull his pants back up.

Why did the astronaut leave his wife?

He needed some space.

Why your astronaut friend is so upset?

He just needed a little space.

I could never be an astronaut

I'd just be a waste of space.

Two astronauts are falling into a black hole while telling jokes.

One turns to the other and says "I'm afraid we're not aware of the gravity of the situation."

Why don't astronauts eat much at breakfast?

So they can be ready for lunch

What do astronauts and lesbians have in common?

Both of their breath smells like tang.

I've never liked astronauts,

they think they're above me.

two astronauts are in the ISS cafeteria

astronaut 1: i can't find the milk for my coffee

astronaut 2: in space, no one can. here, use cream

Why did the Astronomer bring a slab of ribs into the bathroom?

He wanted to witness a meatier shower.

One Astronaut says to another

I can't find any milk for my coffee

To which the other replies In space no one can, here use cream

How do astronauts get to sleep?

They just drift off.

How many astronauts does it take to screw a light bulb?

One but it will take several others to prevent the spacecraft from spinning in the same direction.

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From my book *400 Fresh Clean Jokes For Everyone*.

Why do astronauts like computer keyboards?

Because they have a space bar

Three astronauts walk into a bar

On the way in, one of them spots ten dollars on the floor. As he bends down to pick it up, one of the others claims that he saw it first, so it belongs to him. The third then claims that he dropped it earlier, so it must be his.

Whose ten? We have a problem...

Why did the Astronaut go to the moon?

He needed a little space

Yesterday I was charged $10,000 dollars for sending my cat into space.

It was a cat astro fee.

Why did the astronomer take a steak to the bathroom?

Because he wanted a meatier shower.

Astrologists are said to be poor interpreters...

but they always find something, if it's any constellation.

Whenever I see an Astronomy discovery it reminds me of this joke

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician were on the train from London to Edinburgh, as they passed the Scottish border they saw a black sheep.

'Ah ha' said the astronomer 'from that I can deduce that in Scotland all sheep are black'

'No' said the physicist 'we can deduce that in Scotland some sheep are black'

'Actually' said the mathematician 'all we know is that in Scotland there is a field in which there is a sheep, one side of which is black'

Some astronauts wanted to have a New Year's party on the moon

But they didn't planet in time

Where does an astronaut get coffee?

Starbucks

So um... where do astronauts get drunk?

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Sorry...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the astro laika jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working astro spacebar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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