astounding Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious astounding puns

My friend just asked me, "If you became invisible, what would you do first?"

I said, "I'd go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat the shit out of him; the round of applause he'd get would be astounding."

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Invisible

My friend just said to me, "If you became invisible, what would you do first?"

I said, "I'd go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death; the round of applause he'd get would be astounding."

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Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.

Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a sniper. He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into the states to play for his team.
After a very successful rookie season the young man was discussing his rookie of the year award via telephone with his mother.
She told him that she was proud but living in fear constantly. She continued " your brother was shot twice just in the last few weeks and your sister is regularly the victim of assault. Matters have escalated and life is worse than it has ever been. I will never, ever forgive you for bringing us to Philly."

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A man goes to a doctor one day and says...

"Doctor! Please, I need a solution. I have 5 dicks!"

"Well, that is astounding! Tell me, how do your pants feel?"

"Like a glove!"

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I woke up to a pretty astounding news article about Afroman this morning...

It was called "The Shit has Hit the Fan".

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What are the most funny Astounding jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Astounding? Well, here are the best Astounding dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Astounding pick up lines to share with friends.

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