Astley Jokes

Following is our collection of guard humor and connection one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Astley puns for adults, dirty asked jokes or clean story gags for kids.

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The Best jokes about Astley

Why do The Brit's still use 'u' in words like colour and armour ?

Because Rick Astley is British.

TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up

Today I learned about the Astley paradox!

If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up.

However, in doing so, he lets you down.

Thus creating the Astley Paradox.

Rick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up.

Rick Astley is such a nice guy

He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!

He's Never Gonna Give You Up


Two prisoners were waiting to be executed.

"Any last requests?" asked the jailer.

"Yes," replied one of the prisoners. "I love music, so before I die could you play 'Never gonna give you up' by Rick Astley."

And the second prisoner said: "Kill me first."

You know who's not giving anything up for lent?

Rick Astley.

Rick Astley will let you borrow most of his Pixar movies,

but he's never gonna give you Up

what's worse than being adopted?

finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up.

Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day.

I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I'm never gonna give you Up.

So my friend, Rick Astley, asked me for some Pixar movies to watch...

I told him, "You can borrow Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, A Bugs Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars 1 and 2, Ratatouille, and Wall*E, but I'm never gonna give you UP!"


Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Disney Pixar collection, except one.

I asked Rick Astley to lend me some Pixar movies......

He said you can take Cars, you can take Toy Story but I'm never gonna give you Up.

Help! Rick Astley is overstaying his welcome at my house!

He's never gonna say goodbye.

Rick Astley will give you any of his Disney movies except this one.

He's never going to give you Up.

I asked Rick Astley if I could borrow some Disney DVDs...

He said, "You can take Cars and Lion King but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

If you were to ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP he would never give it to you.

In doing so, he would let you down.

Thus creating the rickroll paradox.

The oxford english dictonary once debated whether or not to remove the letter 'u' from the alphabet. Why didn't they?

Because of Rick Astley

What did Rick Astley say to the doctor?

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling


Assistant to the President: Sir, there's a crisis - somehow, we only have one copy of Pixar's Up left in existence.

President: All right, find the person who currently owns it, and have him give it to me.

Assistant to the President: Well there's some bad news, sir ...

President: Bad news? Have him give me the DVD, I'll copy it and post it on the Internet, problem solved!

Assistant to the President: Sir ...

President: What is the bad news? What human being could be that stingy that they wouldn't give me this movie?

Assistant to the President: His name is Rick, sir.

President: Rick?

Assistant to the President: Rick Astley, and He's Never Gonna Give You Up.

I heard Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Disney collection

Except Up. He's Never Gonna Give You Up.

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Which singer should you avoid borrowing Pixar movies from?

Rick Astley, because he's never gonna give you Up.

What's the best part of having Rick Astley as your father?

He's never gonna give you up.

Rick Astley will give you any of his pixar movies exept for one.

He'll never give you Up.

I heard Rick Astley was going to make a comeback.

I guess he never gave up.

Rick Astley told me that you could borrow any of his Disney movies, except Up

He's never gonna give you Up...

You could ask Rick Astley for any movie in his animated collection, but...

He's never gonna give you Up.

Rick Astley will give you any movie from his collection apart from one.

He'll never give you up.

Why should you never let Rick Astley take you to the top of a tall building?

He's never gonna let you down.

Did you guys see Rick Astley cover Everlong?

He's never gonna give Foo up.

I asked Rick Astley for a movie...

I asked him to borrow some movies. He said "sure what movies do you want?" I asked him for the movie 'Up'. He started singing.

"Never gonna give you Up!"

You walk into a bar and see Rick Astley sitting alone

You sit next to him and start talking

Eventually, the conversation leads to talk of your favorite Pixar movies

Rick tells you that his favorite of all time is Up, he even owns a physical copy of the movie with bonus features

You say that you've always wanted to see it but never have

He says it's a great movie, you have to see it

Nervously, you ask Rick if you can borrow his copy of the movie

He says no

He's never gonna give you up

In doing so, he has let you down

*This is the Astley paradox*

What's Neymar favorite song?

Never Gonna Give You Up de 1987 de Rick Astley (RickRoll)

I am gonna ask Rick Astley to give me a copy of movie 'Up'

So, either he's gonna give me up or he's gonna let me down. And also make me cry in either case.

Rick Astley can give you every single one of his Disney movies, except one

Up.

Why should you hire Rick Astley as a general?

He'll never let his guard down

Hey Rick, can I have Up?

Rick Astley: Never gonna give you up!

If Rick Astley had a collection of Pixar movies he would let you borrow any of them...

But he will never give you up.

We never hear anything from Rick Astley these days...

It's almost like he's given us up, and let us down.

Rick Astley invited me over for dinner

I wanted some ice cream but he said he's never gonna dessert me

What did Mormon founder Joseph Smith say to Rick Astley after Rick had Rick-Rolled him?

Suck it Rick, you just got Jo Smith'd

Do You Know How to Avoid Clickbait?

a new single by Rick Astley

Why didn't Rick Astley get a job as a waiter in an ice cream restaurant?

Because he's never gonna run around and dessert you

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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