Asthmatic Jokes
17 asthmatic jokes and hilarious asthmatic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about asthmatic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Asthmatic Short Jokes
Short asthmatic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The asthmatic humour may include short allergic jokes also.
- When my Mom found out I had asthma she sent me to a camp for Asthmatic children. It was so much fun.. singing songs around the Humidifire. ( yes I know how I spelt it )
- Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away... Too bad we all can't be asthmatics!
- I had an asthma attack while walking to work today... Even I didn't believe it when 3 asthmatics jumped out of a bush and started hitting me.
Share These Asthmatic Jokes With Friends
Asthmatic One Liners
Which asthmatic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with asthmatic? I can suggest the ones about asthma attack and autistic.
- So I had a terrible asthmatic attack today. You'd think I would have heard them hiding.
- DAD:Always date an asthmatic... SON: Why dad?
DAD: You'll always take her breath away. - What do you call an asthmatic statue? A wheezing angle.
- What do you call an asthmatic bird? A puffin.
- What do you call two asthmatics 69'ing? A s**... pact.
Charming Humor Asthmatic Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about asthmatic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean allergic reaction jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make asthmatic pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
English Football joke.
A policeman stops a suspected drunk driver and asks him to take a
breath test, the driver pulls out a medical card which says 'this man
is asthmatic please do not take his breath.'
So the policeman asks him to take a blood test, the man then
pulls out another card which read 'this man is anemic, please
do not take his blood'. Finally the police, getting p**... off asks
him to take a u**... test, finally the man pulled out his
Manchester United season ticket which read 'this man is a
Manchester United fan, please do not take the p**....
(Edit works with other teams as well.)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A policeman pulls over a driver...
for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
I can't do that, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.
Okay, we'll just get a u**... sample down at the station.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.
Alright, we could get a blood sample.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.
Fine then, just walk this white line.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm drunk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do an asthmatic s**... and a one legged mountain climber have in common?
They both have difficulty getting high.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Asthmatic people are so aggressive
This girl was punching and k**... me and kept on gasping and making noises.
All I really did was take her inhaler.
A man goes to the doctor
"Help me", he says, "I think I might be asthmatic because I have a really hard time breathing"
The doctor performes a couple of tests and tells him: "From now on, I want you to sleep with your windows wide open."
A week later the man comes to the doctor again. The doctor asks him: "So, did you follow my recommendation?"
"Yes sir, I slept with my windows wide open every night"
"And what about your asthma? Did it disappear?"
"No, but what did is my watch, my laptop, my television, ..."
