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Association Jokes

75 association jokes and hilarious association puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about association that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a way to lighten the mood? This comprehensive guide of Association Jokes provides humorous anecdotes about home owners associations, condo associations, Scottish Football Association, Last Bench Association, and more. It's a perfect way to bring laughter to any organization or league. Get ready to giggle!

Funniest Association Short Jokes

Short association jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The association humour may include short associate jokes also.

  1. Captan Kirk & Today's Shuttle Launch If William Shatner really wanted to go where no man had gone before , He should have just used the associates bathroom At the Amazon distribution center.
  2. An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft. 'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.
  3. Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts association, Nice to see a lot of new faces here today.
  4. 70% of dishes are under-seasoned, according to a recent survey by the seasoning manufacturers' association. Obviously, this is biased. Take it with a grain of salt.
  5. My friend told me white rice was better than brown rice... I stopped talking to him, because I don't associate with ricists.
  6. Terrorists have taken >500 hostages at the Bar Association annual conference Unless their demands are met, they'll release one lawyer every hour.
  7. My wife told me I had to give up drinking So I joined the AA.
    Unfortunately, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake.
    At least either way I'm on the road to recovery.
  8. I tried to start a religious social media page called Faithbook... ...but it was deemed offensive by the American Lisp Association.
  9. Someone told me that DNA stands for Deoxyribonucleic Acid Does it not stand for National Dyslexic Association?
  10. You've reached the answering machine for the tinnitus association Please leave your message after the beep.

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Association One Liners

Which association one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with association? I can suggest the ones about joining and partner.

  1. Why is the National Rifle Association filing for bankruptcy? Because schools are closed.
  2. Do you know what DNA is an acronym for? The National Dyslexia Association
  3. What does DNA stand for National Dyslexia Association.
  4. What is DNA short for? National Dyslexics Association
  5. Why isn't Uranium associated with Ukraine anymore? Cause it lost decay
    God im sorry
  6. DNA National Dyslexic Association
  7. What is a large group of Karens called? A homeowners association
  8. What does NNNNNSSSSSAAAAA stand for? National Stutterers Association.
  9. What word starts with N, ends with R and is associated with a race? nascar
  10. What does DNA strand for? National Dyslecsics Association
  11. What do you call a group of Karens? A Home Owners Association.
  12. F.B.L.C #The
    #Association
    #Of
    #Incorrect
    #Acronyms
  13. I'm a member of the American Medical Association... ...AMA.
  14. What do the initials D.S.A.U stand for ? United States Dyslexic Association
  15. I try not to associate myself with bowlers They're all a bunch of pinheads

Word Association Jokes

Here is a list of funny word association jokes and even better word association puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Are you a member of the One Word Sentence Association? I'm.
  • A therapist and his client play a word association game and the therapist asks, "What's the first word that comes to mind after the word 'pork'?" ...he responds, "U pine."
  • The Washington r**..., due to the incredible amount of racism, genocide and ignorance associated with that word, have decided to change their name to... ... The r**....

Home Owners Association Jokes

Here is a list of funny home owners association jokes and even better home owners association puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A group of dogs is a pack. A group of crows is a m**.... What is a group of Karen's? A Home Owners Association.
Association joke, A group of dogs is a pack. A group of crows is a m**.... What is a group of Karen's?

Association joke, A group of dogs is a pack. A group of crows is a m**.... What is a group of Karen's?

Humorous Association Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about association you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean coop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make association pranks.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".

Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.

Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.
Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you have left. Think of a country that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the country, and think of an animal that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the animal, and think of a color that begins with that letter.
Now.... How many orange kangaroos are there in Denmark?

Russian Condoms

One day the president of the largest c**... company in Russia is called down by his sales associate. He tells the president that they have just gotten a huge order from America for double extra large 16" condoms. The associate tells the prez that it must be a prank, so the president mulls it over for a minute and then says "Make their order, but when you mark them them for shipping, stamp them with 'EXTRA SMALL.'"

The Washington r**... are changing the team name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, defiance, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, counter-productivity and hostility associated with their name.

....from now on they will be known simply as the r**....

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve

They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a c**..., so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, 'How do these represent Christmas?' Answer: 'They're Carol's.'

2 lawyers are walking back from lunch

When a stunningly beautiful young woman passes them, they turn and admire her from behind, then one says to the other "Man, I'd really love to screw her." His associate asks "Out of what?"

Have you heard of the American Philosophical Association?

I'm not sure if it exists or not and neither are they.

Are you bothered by the fact that the term "dad joke" refers to a certain kind of humor associated with dads, whereas the term "mom joke" refers to jokes that are derogatory towards mothers?

Hi, bothered by the fact that the term "dad joke" refers to a certain kind of humor associated with dads, whereas the term "mom joke" refers to jokes that are derogatory towards mothers, I'm dad.

A man goes to Japan on business and hires a p**....

He doesn't speak any Japanese and she barely speaks any English. While they are going at it she yells out, "Gama Su! Gama Su!" Knowing that she has been satisfied he goes to bed.
The next day he plays golf and one of his associates gets a hole in one. Everyone goes crazy, so to enjoy in the excitement he yells, "Gama Su! Gama Su!"
Everybody goes silent and one of his Japanese associates says, "What do you mean wrong hole?"

Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having s**...?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.

A man went to China.

He hired a p**... to keep him company during the night, and when things got serious, she kept shouting a word in Chinese.
The next day, the man went to a golf course with a couple of business associates. They had a good afternoon until a person hit a hole in one. Everyone started shouting in excitement, and the man decided to join in, shouting the word he hears last night, thinking it was that of excitement.
Everyone turned to the man in silence. After a full minute of awkward silence, the one who made the shot asked "What do you mean, wrong hole?"

Darkened Room

A young associate was romantically ambushed in a darkened room of the law firm. After months of the social isolation that comes from eighty hour work weeks, the associate was happy to reciprocate. However, when asked by a friend to identify the lover, the associate was puzzled. "All I know for sure is that it was a partner -- I had to do all the work."

I got a letter from my Homeowners Associations too

It just said "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw o**...."

The British Islamic Association has said there is no longer room for extremists within their mosques...

Although a waiting list has been set up.

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed as it left a New York publishing house last Thursday.

According to the Associated Press,
witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied,
confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered,
mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted,
astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled, 
overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, and perplexed.

My surname, Stead, rhymes with bed

My surname, Stead, rhymes with bed, but people often pronounce it as "steed", like the horse. One day a business associate of mine came over to the house and was greeted by my girlfriend.
"Is Mr. Steed in?" the woman asked.
"He's Stead," my girlfriend snapped.
"Oh, no!" the women gasped. " I was talking to him only yesterday."

The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him.

"I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer.
Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling.
The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."

How Canada Was Named

So the dignitaries of the associated Provinces of what we now call "Canada" got together over a game of Scrabble to determine the name of the country. They decided they would pick the name based on the first three letters they grabbed. First one: "C, eh?" Second one, "n, eh?" Third one, "d, eh?"

The Washington r**... finally decided to change their name to get rid of the association with historical racism

They'll now be known as the Arlington r**....

Boxes of previously uncounted ballots have been found in Florida

Associated Press is now declaring the State of Florida for Al Gore

The sheriff of a small Texan town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 60 miles per hour in a 30-mile an hour zone.

The man behind the wheel, a San Francisco law associate, was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, "I can't believe you stopped me. This town must be the a**... of the world!"
There was a five second pause as the magistrate looked at him. Then he asked, "You just passing through?"

Why did the dyslexic association of America stop having their meetings at the YMCA?

They all showed up at Macys.

After getting away with m**... for 52 years, the Zodiac Killer has revealed his identity to the press.

He didn't want to be associated with Ted Cruz.

Just recalling the great toilet paper shortage and my Walmart experience.

I couldnt find toilet paper anywhere at Walmart, so I finally found an associate wearing the signature yellow vest, and asked, " Is there toilet paper anywhere in this store?"
She looked me up and down and said, "We've been out of toilet paper for over a week."
Imagine my embarrassment as I waddled back to the restroom with my pants around my ankles.

I once dated a girl named Rachel, but she turned out to be a n**... b**.... As a result, I now refuse to associate with women named Rachel

Then again, I could just be Rachel profiling

There is a road nearby called Berlin Street.

True story, and not quite a joke, but this just happened. All I can say is our daughter pays a lot of attention to things. Anyway, I needed to drop off a letter, and asked my wife, "Isn't the post office on Berlin Street?"
"Yes, but I think I heard it's actually pronounced BERL-in, not ber-LIN. The city changed the pronunciation around World War II due to unwanted association with Germany."
Then my 4-year old daughter said, fully serious, "is that why we say POOPIN' instead of POOTIN'?"

The vampire hunters' association had a community outreach program

they had to appeal to stakeholders.

A teacher to her students,

"Lets talk about associate, or association. It means things that go together. You can associate plants with soil, and birds with trees. Now, can anyone tell me what we can associate with fish? Yes, Tommy?"
Tommy: "Chips!"

Source: Adapated from a joke in a 1913 newspaper

The president of my home owners association and my blind neighbor don't see eye to eye often…

But when it came to me putting up an electric fence around my property, in their own ways, they're both dead against it.

I used to be a member of the Secret Vegetable Association Cult. But i was banished last week

Because i spilled the beans

Association joke, I used to be a member of the Secret Vegetable Association Cult. But i was banished last week

jokes about association