The Best 16 Associate Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Associate jokes. There are some associate friend jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these associate assistant puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Associate Jokes and Puns

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

My friend told me white rice was better than brown rice...

I stopped talking to him, because I don't associate with ricists.

The sheriff of a small Texan town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 60 miles per hour in a 30-mile an hour zone.

The man behind the wheel, a San Francisco law associate, was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, "I can't believe you stopped me. This town must be the asshole of the world!"

There was a five second pause as the magistrate looked at him. Then he asked, "You just passing through?"

Associate joke, The sheriff of a small Texan town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 60 miles per hour in a 30-mil

Russian Condoms

One day the president of the largest condom company in Russia is called down by his sales associate. He tells the president that they have just gotten a huge order from America for double extra large 16" condoms. The associate tells the prez that it must be a prank, so the president mulls it over for a minute and then says "Make their order, but when you mark them them for shipping, stamp them with 'EXTRA SMALL.'"

2 lawyers are walking back from lunch

When a stunningly beautiful young woman passes them, they turn and admire her from behind, then one says to the other "Man, I'd really love to screw her." His associate asks "Out of what?"


My surname, Stead, rhymes with bed

My surname, Stead, rhymes with bed, but people often pronounce it as "steed", like the horse. One day a business associate of mine came over to the house and was greeted by my girlfriend.

"Is Mr. Steed in?" the woman asked.

"He's Stead," my girlfriend snapped.

"Oh, no!" the women gasped. " I was talking to him only yesterday."

Just recalling the great toilet paper shortage and my Walmart experience.

I couldnt find toilet paper anywhere at Walmart, so I finally found an associate wearing the signature yellow vest, and asked, " Is there toilet paper anywhere in this store?"

She looked me up and down and said, "We've been out of toilet paper for over a week."

Imagine my embarrassment as I waddled back to the restroom with my pants around my ankles.

Associate joke, Just recalling the great toilet paper shortage and my Walmart experience.

Dunno why people like to associate Comcast with the Nazis

It's not like they're the fascist out there.

I try not to associate myself with bowlers

They're all a bunch of pinheads

Tetanus isn't actually caused by rusty objects, but by bacteria in dirt, which we often associate with rusty nails and tools that can introduce the bacteria through wounds.

This is why tetanus vaccines are so important. For anti-vaxxers, that truth could be hard to swallow.

Any appreciation for lockjaw puns?

Darkened Room

A young associate was romantically ambushed in a darkened room of the law firm. After months of the social isolation that comes from eighty hour work weeks, the associate was happy to reciprocate. However, when asked by a friend to identify the lover, the associate was puzzled. "All I know for sure is that it was a partner -- I had to do all the work."

You can explore associate colleague reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean associate adviser dad jokes. There are also associate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man walks into a library and checks out a book on suicide.

He walks out and the librarian then turns to her work associate and says, He's not bringing that book back.

A Chinese businessman is entertaining his guest from England

Each time the Chinese lifts the glass, the says to his English associate: Kan Pei! 干杯 (Cheers)

The Englishman is stunned, but he continues eating.

It keeps recurring, each time the Chinese wants to drink, he exclaims: Kan Pei!

Finally, the English puts down his cutlery and says aloud to his Chinese associate: It's alright if you CAN'T PAY! I will! Now, shut up and eat!!

I got fired from my position of sales associate at Dyson vacuums yesterday...

Apparently saying "Would you like to try our vacuums? They suck!" wasn't the best thing to say to the customers.

What political group does Matthew McConaughey associate with?

Alt-right alt-right alt-riiight

Why didn't the cows associate with the pigs?

Because they were Mooslims.

Associate joke, Why didn't the cows associate with the pigs?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the associate join jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working associate advisor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes