The Best 28 Assets Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Assets jokes. There are some assets charities jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these assets liquidate puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Assets Jokes and Puns

A man going to jail buys life insurance....

....To protect his ASSETS!

If your debits and credits don't equal,

then your assets in jail.

Alchoholic invester

Is liquidating his assets

Assets joke, Alchoholic invester

Why doesn't the Empire hire better pilots?

Their assets are tied

Why are bank offices so cold?

They're trying to freeze their assets.


I consider myself pretty lucky in my divorce because we negotiated a 50-50 split of our assets. My wife got half, my lawyer got half.

Why couldn't the snowman spend his money?

Cause his assets were frozen.

Assets joke, Why couldn't the snowman spend his money?

Has anyone told you about the igloo industry in Africa?

I hear they have some very liquid assets.

Before I got divorced, I should have converted all my assets to jokes.

Because my ex couldn't ever take one.

Why are cars always referred to as "she's"?

Because cars and women are both depreciating assets

Let me tell you how I became a millionaire: First, I...

...bought one apple for a dollar with my savings. Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars. With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1$ each and again sold them for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on...

A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.

You can explore assets estate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean assets balance dad jokes. There are also assets puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the stockbroker say to the prostitute after he came on her back.

"I just liquidated some assets."

Why is banking like castration?

Once you've lost your assets, you get no interest.

What do you get if you liquidized Googles assets?

Alphabet Soup

You put things in your front pockets.

You put assets in your back ones.

Why was the penguin broke?

His assets were frozen.

Assets joke, Why was the penguin broke?

Why is it ok for an ice company to commit a fraud?

Because... their assets are already frozen.

What does an anorexic accountant not have?


What happened to the accountant with diarrhea?

He had to liquidate his assets

I moved into an apartment over a bank.

My assets over five million dollars.

A professional ice-sculptor files for bankruptcy...

Time for him to liquidate his assets

In the far future, after all governments have unified, a rich man will be convicted of a crime, making him hated among the people and causing his assets to be frozen

So he was basically discredited.

I just bought some Coca Cola stocks.

It's nice to have some liquid assets.

Why did Gary trade all of his possessions for water?

He wanted to liquidate his assets

Excuse me, are you a booming real estate property?

because I'm about to pump my liquid assets into you

I accidentally washed my wallet today...

Turns out that's not what my financial advisor meant when he told me to liquidate my assets.

How do you know a donkey is wealthy?

They have a lot of ass-ets.

My uncle used to own an ice cream shop, but he missed a single payment to the electric company.

They liquidated his assets.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the assets income jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working assets knickknack piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes