The Best 23 Assembly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Assembly jokes. There are some assembly importance jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these assembly enroll puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Assembly Jokes and Puns

I work on a two-person assembly line of Dracula toys...

I've got to make every second count

My old school was sponsored by IKEA...

Assembly took ages.

In school, we had an assembly on bullying

The teacher spoke about a young gay boy, being bullied because of his sexuality. She spoke in length about his life, and the verbal abuse he suffers. She then asked a question, 'How do you think he takes it?' Apparently, 'Up the arse!' wasn't a suitable answer.

Assembly joke, In school, we had an assembly on bullying

A high school principal made an announcement at an assembly.

He said, "Boys and girls, the faculty have witnessed an alarming increase in public displays of affection, which are against school policy. Effective immediately, we will start issuing fines to those caught doing this. A first offense will be $5. A second offense will be $10. A third offense will be $20. So on and so forth."

Suddenly, a student in the crowd yelled, "How much for a season pass?"

Jesus and Satan are having a contest

They want to see who is the best programmer.

So the first challenge is screens. It's a tie.

Then Assembly. Tie again.

Web Design. Tie again.

Challenge after challenge nobody is winning. So after like five days the power fails. So they wait for it to come back on. Then when the power come back on Jesus is the clear winner.

Because Jesus saves.


What's a pirate's favourite programming language?

R

What's an optometrist's favourite programming language?

C#

What's IKEA's favourite programming language?

Assembly

What's a herpetologist's favourite programming language?

Python

During the communist rule

in the USSR a big assembly was held and members of the communist party were giving speeches to the general public. The highest ranking official was making his speech and he proclaimed "soon we will live even better!". This was followed by a voice from the audience "and what about us?!"

Assembly joke, During the communist rule

An arm amputee bought a wooden cupboard from IKEA which was sent to his home for his self assembly.

Needless to say, he was stumped.

My head teacher started her assembly by saying "it came to my attention yesterday"

I really don't like being called "it"

Ingar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA has passed away

- flat pack coffins

- Allen key

- left over parts

- missing screws

This joke needs some assembly

[Pun] Why did Henry invent the assembly line?

He couldn't a-Ford not to.

*bad-dum tish*

You can explore assembly essential reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean assembly assessment dad jokes. There are also assembly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why are assembly programmers always under a lot of pressure?

Because they work below C level

Why Do Squirrels Swim On Their Back?

To Keep Their Nuts Dry. (Told in school assembly today by a 13 year old student)

Being atheist is like buying a floor model

No assembly required.

I need help thinking of a joke involving supernatural creatures

It needs to be a one or two liner, no knock knock jokes or riddles.

Context: I'm working at a summer camp and my call sign is Ghost. Tomorrow morning at the assembly, I'm going up and giving some world news (spoofs, not actual news). I want to say "hey guys, I'm Ghost with all your *other*worldly news", but I'm having trouble thinking of what to say after that. Any ideas would be great.

Did you know that America auto manufacturers name their cars on the assembly line?

Yours should say Check Engine under the speedometer.

Assembly joke, Did you know that America auto manufacturers name their cars on the assembly line?

IKEA sponsored our local school

Now assembly takes forever.

My life was so boring until I managed to get a job on a sofa assembly line

I found it settees factory

I bought a book on programming at IKEA.

There was some assembly required.


I never thought I'd say that I'm just really tired of watching people screw

But watching these assembly videos is getting so boring...

If you show me an Italian assembly line...

I'll show you a well oiled machine.

People who sew in an assembly line

Have their work cut out for them.

When I'm down, I read shelving assembly instructions.

Shelf help books make me feel better.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the assembly sophomore jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working assembly tradesmen piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes