Assemble Jokes
31 assemble jokes and hilarious assemble puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about assemble that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Assemble Short Jokes
Short assemble jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The assemble humour may include short assembly jokes also.
- The ceo of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.
- The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden. The first thing he'll do is to assemble his cabinet.
- I work on a two-person assembly line of dracula toys... I've got to make every second count
- Breaking News: The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.
- It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task
- My doctor just diagnosed me with very low blood pressure. He prescribed two IKEA self-assembly wardrobes.
- So the wolf of Wall Street has the f word used 569 times making almost 3 times a minute That record was broken by my dad this afternoon while trying to assemble an ikea tv stand
- Just found out that the boss of IKEA is the new Prime Minister of Sweden He's still assembling his new cabinet
- The CEO of IKEA was elected as president of Sweden I hear he's still assembling his cabinet
- I recently rejected a junior software dev job at IKEA. I kinda know java, kotlin and some php but unfortunately Assembly was required.
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Assemble One Liners
Which assemble one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with assemble? I can suggest the ones about setup and built.
- CEO of IKEA is now the Prime Minister of Sweden He is currently assembling his cabinet.
- Thor, Iron Man and Hulk walk into IKEA... Avengers... Assemble
- My old school was sponsored by IKEA... Assembly took ages.
- Stands, tables, meatballs, sofas and Sweden It's an IKEA joke...some assembly required
- I used to have a job assembling tiny pieces of cheese. It was degrating.
- I bought an Avengers LEGO set. It's fun to Assemble.
- I'm so smart it only took me 6 months to assemble a jigsaw puzzle The box says 2-4 years
- How do you assemble a computer? Bit by bit.
- What do you call a Mexican dude who helps you assemble stuff? Manuel
- A place where they assemble okay products is called ...a Satis Factory.
- [Pun] Why did Henry invent the assembly line? He couldn't a-Ford not to.
*bad-dum tish* - Being atheist is like buying a floor model No assembly required.
- IKEA sponsored our local school Now assembly takes forever.
- ASSEMBLE INTROVERTS!!! disperse.
- I bought a book on programming at IKEA. There was some assembly required.
Comical & Quirky Assemble Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about assemble you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean compact jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make assemble pranks.
What did Optimus Prime say when he came back from Ikea?
Autobots, assemble!
(edit : a big ♥ to all the kind people who made this silly post live despite the fact I mix up Autobots and Avengers. Long live the Autovengers!)
My dad just called a family meeting.
Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.
"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.
"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".
Bellboy
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.
"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.
It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'
'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for.
He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' cried the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.'
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.
Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad.
'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur, 'the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!'
But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless..
How much of s**... is work?
A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of s**... was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?" A Major chimed in with 25-75% in favor of work . A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure , depending on how drunk he was at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the Private who was in charge of making the coffee. What was your opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why.
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
A company of the French Foreign Legion are lost in the desert...
The Captain assembles his men and says: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is... we have run out of food and there is nothing to eat but sand. The good news is... there's plenty."
