Assemble Jokes

Following is our collection of unite humor and technologies one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Assemble puns for adults, dirty faulty jokes or clean techniques gags for kids.

There is an abundance of cabinets jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 16 funniest jokes on assemble. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any organize witze you can hear about assemble.

The Best jokes about Assemble

Thor, Iron Man and Hulk walk into IKEA...

Avengers... Assemble

So the Wolf of Wall Street has the f word used 569 times making almost 3 times a minute

That record was broken by my dad this afternoon while trying to assemble an ikea tv stand

The jigsaw puzzle

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out or how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.

He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then...", he sighed, "Let's put all these frosted flakes back in the box."

A blonde's jigsaw puzzle

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.... I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?".
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster".

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box and then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster". He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then"....... he sighed and said, "Third... lets put all these Cornflakes back in the box"

Military Humor

I had to translate. You can help me fix it.


Lieutenant Colonel to Major:
There is a total solar eclipse coming tomorrow at 9am, which does not happen every day. Assemble all soldiers on exercise field, I will provide explanation. In the event of rain, since we won't be able to see it anyway, assemble everyone in the gymnasium.


Major to Captain:
Per Colonel's order, tomorrow at 9am there will be ceremonial solar eclipse. If there is a need for rain, Lieutenant Colonel will give a separate order in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.


Captain to Lieutenant:
Per Colonel's order tomorrow at 9am there will be solar eclipse. In the event of rain the solar eclipse will occur in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.


Lieutenant to Sergeant:
Tomorrow at 9am Colonel will perform solar eclipse in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.


Sergeant to Corporal:
"Tomorrow at 9am there will be eclipsing of Colonel because of the sun. If it is raining in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day, assemble all soldiers on the exercise field.


Two privates talking to each other:
Seems it will rain tomorrow. The sun will eclipse Colonel in the gymnasium. I wonder why it does not happen every day.


I assembled an IKEA keyboard

it's amain ho many spare parts they ive you

How do you assemble a computer?

Bit by bit.

why do automotive line workers like the 1st Amendment.

It gives them the right to assemble.

A confused blonde asks her boyfriend to help her assemble a puzzle she bought in the supermarket.

She tells her boyfriend that the puzzle formed a chicken, since a picture of a chicken was on the box.

Eager to help, her boyfriend asked her to bring him the puzzle as soon as possible.

The blonde brings the puzzle to her boyfriend's house. When she sees her boyfriend, she shows him the box, and pours out the pieces in front of him.

When the blonde's boyfriend sees this, he looks at her and starts laughing. Once he calms down, he tells the blonde:

"Put the cornflakes back in the box, babe."

A guy goes to Ikea for a job interview

Welcome sir, nice to have you. Please assemble that chair over there and take a seat.

My wife bought us an avengers puzzle to do together...

I said great. We can put some music on, have a few drinks and assemble the avengers.


What do you call a Mexican dude who helps you assemble stuff?

Manuel

A place where they assemble okay products is called

...a Satis Factory.

The Thane Of Cawdor's (Scottish equiv. Of Earl) castle is protected by high stone walls. The weak point is the old wooden drawbridge, which is showing the first small signs of rot in some areas.

The smartest men in the castle assemble to advise the king, but all of their solutions involve paying for a brand new drawbridge, which the Scottish Thane is not a fan of.

Oh, the cost! He cried, isn't there anyone in the kingdom who has a better, cheaper idea for protecting the wood of this fine old drawbridge?

The court fool thinks hard for a minute, then having his eureka moment, steps forward towards his master and exclaims in a loud voice: urethane .

Mr Potato

I ordered 'Mr Potato' online but he hasn't arrived yet. I can't wait so have been drawing diagrams of how I may assemble him. You could say I'm planning a head.

It takes 1,437 bolts to assemble a car.

It takes one nut to scatter them all over the road.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes