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Assault And Battery Jokes

33 assault and battery jokes and hilarious assault and battery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about assault and battery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Assault And Battery Short Jokes

Short assault and battery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The assault and battery humour may include short assault jokes also.

  1. Sodium Chloride and Sulphuric Acid were in jail Turns out they were in for assault and battery
  2. Why is it a crime to put condiments on your power supply? Because it's assault and battery.
  3. Last night , A man best his wife with a flashlight outside the bar I work at He's being charged with assault and the flashlight is being charged with battery...
  4. One time, I was served seasoned capacitors for dinner It was so bad they charged the restaurant with assault and battery
  5. What's the difference between a drunken brawler and a lithium chloride power cell? One's charged with assault and battery and the other's a battery charged with a salt.
  6. Sodium chloride and sulphuric acid were arrested... They were charged with assault and battery
  7. Did you hear about the guy who attacked his neighbor with a D Cell? He got charged with Assault with a Battery.
  8. Did you hear about the power source that was arrested for assault? It was charged with battery.
  9. Did you hear about the electric eel that got sent to jail? He was arrested for assault and BATTERY.
  10. I was assaulted by a clock that fell off the wall and onto my head It was charged with battery

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Assault And Battery One Liners

Which assault and battery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with assault and battery? I can suggest the ones about arrested assaulting and assault rifle.

  1. What do you call NaCl and a 9 volt being thrown at you? Assault and battery.
  2. What did the Duracell Bunny get arrested for? Assault and battery
  3. A robot assaulted a man. He was charged with battery.
  4. What do you call an assault which is both positive and negative? A battery.
  5. What was the criminal electronic's punishment? Assault and battery
  6. What do you call a false battery claim? Balonious assault.
  7. The Energizer Bunny stole the Morton's girl umbrella. It was assault with battery!
  8. The batteries were given out free of charge At least it wasn't assault
  9. If somebody sprinkles salt on a Tesla Do they get charged with assault and battery?

Assault And Battery Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about assault and battery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arrested charged jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make assault and battery pranks.

Trial

A man charged with assault and battery insisted at his trial that he had just pushed his victim "a little bit". When he was pressured by the prosecutor to illustrate just how hard, the defendant approached the lawyer, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels and flung him over the table.
He then faced judge and jury and calmly declared, "I would say it was about one-tenth that hard."

Did you hear about the guy who got pulled over?

The cops received a warrant and were able to search his car and they opened the glove box and ended up finding sodium chloride and a nine volt...
He got charged with assault and battery

Police responded to a call where the husband was beating his wife with a flashlight...

The man was charged with assault; flashlight charged with battery.

What did the cop say to the battery?

I'm going to have to charge you for assault and battery

Why did the cod sue the fish and chip shop?

Assault and battery.
Sorry again. I'm bored in work.