Following is our collection of Assassination jokes which are very funny. There are some assassination president jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these assassination elect puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says, "I'll have some H2O."
The second says, "I'll have some water too. But why'd you order it like that? We aren't at work."
The first chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom.
His assassination plot had failed.
After a long day, two chemists, Bill and Bob, go to a pub to unwind. Bob says to the barkeeper, "I'll just have a glass of H^2 0." Bill chimes in, "I'll have a glass of water too". They take a seat as he asks Bob, "Why did you refer to water with its chemical composition?" Bob did not answer, fuming that his assassination attempt had failed.
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe
The first scientist says, "I'll have some H20."
The second scientist says, "I'll have a glass of water, too, Wh.. why did you say H20? Like, I know it's the chemical formula for water and all. but it's the end of the day and there's really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work."
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
One chemist says to the bartender, "I would like some h2o please." The other chemist says, " I would also like some water, too. " The first chemist excuses himself to the bathroom and hangs his head in shame. His assassination plot had failed.
Well he's dead, isn't he?
(Adapted from Neil Gaiman's *American Gods*)
Secret service charges.
Two scientists walk into a bar.
The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second says, "I'll have a glass of water too. Why did you say H2O? It's the end of the day and there's no need to talk about work."
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
... Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.
If Helen Keller was assassinated, she wouldn't have seen it coming... in fact she wouldn't have even sensed it
...nobody is sure how many shots there were
You can explore assassination kill reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean assassination downfall dad jokes. There are also assassination puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
...The first one says:
"I'll have some H2O"
The second one says:
"I'll have some water too"
The first scientist got angry because his assassination attempt failed.
the first one says: I´ll have a glass of H2O...
the second one says: i´ll have a glass of water too.... Wh... why did you say H2O ? Is there any reason to use the chemical formular outside the lab ?Doesn`t this just over-complicate things for no reason ? I really don´t think that was very smart...
the first scientists stares at his drink, angry, that his assassination plan has failed...
Iran had an $80 million bounty on Mr. Trump.
"We'll do it for half." said Lopez on Instagram.
There hasn't been a presidential assassination in a while.
Maybe I might live in an age where an assassination happens.
the terrorists found out that he was going to be appearing with Chris Christy and they replaced his bronzer with BBQ sauce.
....but was like, "Nah, I can't do a Trump world. Good luck y'all, I'm out."
But even he could not survive 2016
The first one says, "I'd like some H2O."
The second says, "And I'll have some H2... wait. Why aren't you just referring to water by its normal name? I mean, I know it's our job, but we're just getting a drink."
The first scientist slams the table angrily, for his assassination scheme had been foiled.
The first scientist says "I'll have h2o"
The second scientist says "I'll have a water"
The first scientist goes back home and rethinks his assassination plan.
The bartender asks "What shall I get you two tonight"
The first chemist says "I'll take it easy tonight, just give me H2O"
The second chemist says "I'll have some H2O as well"
The first chemist is then filled with anger as the joke he heard gave him false hope in his assassination attempt
They walk up to the bartender and the first one says:
"I'll have a glass of H2O."
The other then says to his companion:
"Why don't you just say water? I understand that we're chemists an all that, but you don't need to walk around using random terms!"
The first chemist, frustrated, needs to rethink his assassination plot.
Now they just say "Donald, duck"
A missed stake
Two scientists walk into their local pub.
"I'll have H2O" says the first.
"I'll have water too," says the second, "but why are you saying it like that? We're not a work anymore man."
The first scientist excuses himself and goes to the bathroom to inform the motherland his assassination attempt had failed.
"I suppose you know in full detail who was behind it."
"Ach," the rabbi replied, "I have no idea, but the government's conclusion will be the same as always: they will blame the Jews and the chimneysweeps."
"Why the chimneysweeps?" asked the befuddled official.
"Why the Jews?" responded the rabbi.
The first chemist says "I'll have some H20"
The second chemist says, "I'll have some H20 as well."
The first chemist kicks himself as his assassination attempt fails.
From what I hear, they reveal some pretty mind-blowing information
I decided to carve a pumpkin that looks like JFK's widow. It's my first Jackie O'Lantern.
"An Inconvenient Booth"
It was also mind blowing.
The other says "I'll have some water too please"
He then turns to his friend and asks him "Why would you order water like that?"
The first scientist says nothing, but seethed that the assassination attempt failed.
The first says, "Can I have a glass of H2O?" The second chemist says, "Can I have a glass of water, too?" The first chemist breaks down in tears — his assassination attempt has failed.
The second one says, "I'll also have a glass of water. Why are you referring to it so strangely. We're not at work anymore."
The first scientist goes into the bathroom and cries. His assassination attempt has failed.
You forget to put the ricin
Two chemists walk into a restaurant after work, they sit down at there table and order drinks. The first chemist says, "I will have some H20", the second chemist says, "I will have a glass of water, and dude why are you referring to it so strangely, we aren't at work anymore."
The first chemist then goes into the bathroom and cries as his assassination plot has failed.
Well he's dead, isn't he?
The F was added after his assassination to pay respects.
It was mind blowing
Assassination
Assassination
Stand in the rain, he won't come after you if it's wet outside.
Blew my friggin mind!
I responded ehh no biggie
It was an assassination attempt.
Not even one of the five bullets hit Yoko Ono
I had to use the bathroom and realized I just missed the end of the last episode. I really wanted to see it and wondered how to do this.
Then it struck me, I just needed to go back and to left.
You have to be moderately smart to understand it...
For your death to be considered an assassination instead of a murder?
One day, an assassination attempt took place, and when the man tried to shoot, I shouted "Mickey Mouse!".
After the attempt, Trump asked why I shouted Mickey Mouse, to which I replied "sorry, I meant to shout 'Donald, Duck!'"
... Jim asks for a H20.
Dave asks why he ordered it like that, and Jim says that they're scientists and so should present themselves as such.
Dave replies "whatever, I'll have a water too".
Jim watches the bartender get Dave's drink, angry that his assassination attempt failed.
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We suggest to use only working assassination impeach piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.