Following is our collection of headlights humor and potholes one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Asphalt puns for adults, dirty muddy jokes or clean chunk gags for kids.
There is an abundance of cobblestone jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 40 funniest jokes on asphalt. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any concrete witze you can hear about asphalt.
But it was his dumb asphalt
He says to the bartender, "A beer for me, and one for the road."
The bartender nods,
"and how about one for the road?"
The bartender asks, What can I get for ya?
The man says, A beer for me, and another for the road.
We just landed on the runway and the flight attendant annouces a message over the speaker.
"Hey folks...um yea sorry about that rough landing...
...wasn't the captains fault,
...definitely wasn't my fault,
...it was the asphalt."
The result: a perfect mix of laughs and groans.
he says, "Hey! Bartender! Two beers please." The bartender looks at him with a confused look and asked, "Why two? Are you waiting on someone?" The man responds, "Nah, I need for me and one for the road."
An asphalt rifle
Solid joke right?
A beer please, and one for the road,
Sexual Asphalt Charges.
It was her own dumb asphalt.
it's your own asphalt.
...with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says to the bartender "I'll take a drink, and one for the road."
A young man was curious as to what girls thought about sex in the "back-door". So, out of curiosity and a lack of shame, he decides to ask three different girls if they would like to try it in the "back door".
The first girl he asked was American, and when asked about her opinion she punched the young man to the asphalt before storming off.
The second girl he asked was French, and when asked about her opinion she blushed and said that she would be willing to try anything once.
The third girl he asked was German, and when asked about her opinion she said, "Alright! Bend over!"
I guess it's my own dumb asphalt.
One beer for me and one for the road.
He says it's just a matter of cementics
But it was his dumb asphalt
He says to the bar tender: I want two drinks, one for me right now and one for the road.
Once on the ground, our flight attendant announced, "Well, folks, that wasn't my fault, and it wasn't the captain's fault, but it was definitely the as-phalt."
The passenger reactions were a mix of chuckles and groans.
Shoutout to our Southwest Airlines flight crew from BUR-LAS flight 4606, good job keeping things safe!
It's the word on the streets
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm he says, I'll have one for me and one for the road .
Sorry if this is a repost I'm not on Reddit very much
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
'I won't serve him!' He says, 'he's a cyclepath!'
A man walks into a bar carrying a chunk of asphalt.
To the bartender, he says, "I'll have two beers, one for me and one for the road."
An asphalt
when a wheel broke, cracking the road underneath. The township sued the farmer for road repairs, but a judge dismissed the case stating "it's not the ass's fault asphalt has faults"
My dad pointed to it and said, That road goes to Hell. Know how you can tell? This is asphalt and that's good intentions.
Asphalt.
He walks up to the bar tender and says 'I'll have a beer and one for the road'.
A roadworker walked into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He says to the bartender, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
He says 2 beers one for me and one for the road.
...and says to the bartender, "Gimme a beer, and one for the road"
A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and orders, "I'll have a pint, please. And one for the road."
...and lifts a lump of asphalt onto the bar. He says to the barman, "One for me and one for the road."
It wasn't my fault, it was my asphalt.
Because it's always the asphalt.
Give me a beer.... and one for the road too.
When he built the roadway wrong?
It's not my asphalt, it's your asphalt.
He said "I'll take two beers, one for me and one for the road"
It was the asphalt.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.