The Best 41 Asparagus Jokes

Following is our collection of Asparagus jokes which are very funny. There are some asparagus radish jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these asparagus rosemary puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Asparagus Jokes and Puns

I bought 10 asparagus at the store but when I got home I realized I had 11

It was just a spare, I guess.

Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping?

In case your other agus breaks.

What does a vegetable use to change a flat?


Asparagus joke, What does a vegetable use to change a flat?

Why does asparagus make your pee smell so bad?

Next time I'm just going to stir it with a straw like everybody else

How did the vegetable farmer fix his flat tire on his truck?

with asparagus...

John Green probably doesn't like vegetables.

He certainly didn't asparagus.

What do you call a sad asparagus?

Despairagus =/

Asparagus joke, What do you call a sad asparagus?

What are the magic words for making a spoiled asparagus edible?

Impairagus Repairagus

People say that asparagus makes your pee smell

but its also true that your pee makes asparagus smell

How are buttsex and asparagus the same?

If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

The respirator.

(My dad told me this while he was cooking asparagus)

You can explore asparagus shallot reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean asparagus spinach dad jokes. There are also asparagus puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

Do you like Asparagus Soup ?

"Honey, do you like Asparagus ?"


"Do you like soup ?"

'Not really, why are you asking ?'

"Because you may not like what I did..."

'What ? Did you make Asparagus Soup ? '

"No, I've slept with your sister"

I got a flat tire

I should of brought asparagus

What type of vegetable fixes a flat?


I don't like asparagus

It makes my pee taste funny

Asparagus joke, I don't like asparagus

I should've brought asparagus

I have a flat tire

I was peeing the other day, and my girlfriend said "were you eating asparagus?"

She has a keen sense of taste.

I got a flat tire on my way home from the grocery store

At least I have asparagus

Two vegans blew a tire on the interstate...

One said to the other "I should have brought Asparagus."

Why is there no such thing as a punapple?

Because the best puns come in pears.

(Original joke made up by me and my friend the other day as we were high and ate pineapple... the asparagus guy inspired me to share)

What do you call a vegetable wheel you don't use?


What's Lady Gaga's favorite food?

Sushi because they serve it raw, raw, raw\-raw\-raw!

(sorry I just saw the guy get to the front page with his stoned asparagus joke, so I wanted to try mine).

What do you call multiple men wearing asparagus outfits?


What do you call a group of men dressed up as asparagus?


What did Mario say when his friend Gus was about to be shot in front of him?


What's the one vegetable you wish you bought when you have a flat tire?


What do you call a left over vegetable?

A spare I guess. (asparagus)

I got a flat tire

I shoulda bought asparagus.

What do you suppose a vegetable farmer would use to replace a flat tire?


What did the Italian asparagus say to the man trying to kill him?


Two men were riding in a car made of vegatables

They ran over a huge pothole and they blew a tire. One guy says to the other:
You should have brought asparagus

What does a vegetarian say when their tyre goes flat?

I should've brought asparagus...

What's the best kind of vegetable to have in your car if you get a flat tire?

Asparagus? (A spare I guess?)

What's green and sings and dances fantastic?

Fred Asparagus. (I'm sorry, Holiday Inn was on TCM tonight.)


A broccoli looks into the trunk of his new car and sees he has an extra tire.

he says "oh look I have a-spar-a-gus."

What did the vegan say when she got a flat tire...

I should have brought asparagus.

The definition of an asparagus:

A bean with aspirations of becoming a paintbrush.

I made a freudian slip the other day.

I said I only need two emojis asparagus and peach. I mean Aubergene!

What do you call an asparagus that wants to be a better person?


I asked my wife to grab 6 asparagus stalks from the garden. She came back with 7.

The last one was just a spare, I guess.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the asparagus onion jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working asparagus crispr piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes