Asparagus Jokes

Funniest Asparagus Short Jokes

Short asparagus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The asparagus humour may include short green beans jokes also.

1. I asked my wife to grab 6 asparagus stalks from the garden. She came back with 7. The last one was just a spare, I guess.
2. I bought 10 asparagus at the store but when I got home I realized I had 11 It was just a spare, I guess.
3. Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping? In case your other agus breaks.
4. How are buttsex and asparagus the same? If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.
5. What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires? He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."
6. What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The respirator.
   (My dad told me this while he was cooking asparagus)
7. I made a freudian slip the other day. I said I only need two emojis asparagus and peach. I mean Aubergene!
8. What's the one vegetable you wish you bought when you have a flat tire? Asparagus.
9. Two vegans blew a tire on the interstate... One said to the other "I should have brought Asparagus."
10. I got a flat tire I should of brought asparagus

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Asparagus One Liners

Which asparagus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with asparagus? I can suggest the ones about eggplant and spinach.

1. What do you call a sad asparagus? Despairagus =/
2. I don't like asparagus It makes my pee taste funny
3. What do you call an asparagus that wants to be a better person? Aspiregus
4. What did Mario say when his friend Gus was about to be shot in front of him? Asparagus
5. I got a flat tire I shoulda bought asparagus.
6. The definition of an asparagus: A bean with aspirations of becoming a paintbrush.
7. What does a vegetarian say when their tyre goes flat? I should've brought asparagus...
8. What did the Italian asparagus say to the man trying to kill him? Aspargi
9. What does a vegetable use to change a flat? Asparagus...
10. What do you call a vegetable wheel you don't use? Asparagus
11. What did the vegan say when she got a flat tire... I should have brought asparagus.
12. What do you suppose a vegetable farmer would use to replace a flat tire? Asparagus...
13. I got a flat tire on my way home from the grocery store At least I have asparagus
14. I should've brought asparagus I have a flat tire
15. What do you call a left over vegetable? A spare I guess. (asparagus)

Eating Asparagus Jokes

Here is a list of funny eating asparagus jokes and even better eating asparagus puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was peeing the other day, and my girlfriend said "were you eating asparagus?" She has a keen sense of taste.
• I usually don't eat asparagus... Because it makes your pee taste funny

Asparagus Pee Jokes

Here is a list of funny asparagus pee jokes and even better asparagus pee puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• People say that asparagus makes your pee smell but its also true that your pee makes asparagus smell
• Why does asparagus make your pee smell so bad? Next time I'm just going to stir it with a straw like everybody else

Uproarious Asparagus Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about asparagus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean broccoli jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make asparagus pranks.