Asians Jokes
141 asians jokes and hilarious asians puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about asians that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Asians Short Jokes
Short asians jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The asians humour may include short asian guy jokes also.
- What asian stereo type do you hear the most? Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.
- With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking... Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.
- What's the difference between a lobster and a chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
- I think my family is racist
I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and my wife and kids were very rude to her. - My Asian waiter just handed my food to the wrong customer because he's racist and thinks all white people look the same. Wait, nevermind. That wasn't my waiter.
- My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again And I don't know if I should tell him.
- I think my wife is racist. I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and now my wife isn't talking to me.
- "I'm proud to be a black man" "I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.
"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.
"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist. - How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian? Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented
- I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you". I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.
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Asians One Liners
Which asians one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with asians? I can suggest the ones about asian girl and asian father.
- Where do Asian neckbeards come from? M'laysia
- My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes It was the end of my Korea
- COVID 19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
- I once thought I had a japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.
- My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.
- How do you blindfold an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her.
- Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white.
- Asian Keanu Asian Keanu arrives at party.
Asian Keanu gets bored.
Asian Keanu Reeves. - Asians are sooo bad at driving.... I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.
- What do you call a rich asian? Cha Ching
- I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was wong on so many levels
- I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name
- What do you call a black asian? thai-rone.
- What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene
- I had a race with an Asian today It was a Thai
Rich Asians Jokes
Here is a list of funny rich asians jokes and even better rich asians puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I just saw Crazy Rich Asians and I have one problem with the film If they're so rich, why are they from Singapoor?
- What do rich, blind, Asians drive? Cataracts
- How do you become rich in Asian countries? Open a car insurance company
- Why are Asian countries so rich Because they rice above their status.
- After watching the movie Crazy Rich Asians, I felt really, really sick. The doctor said that I had contracted Yellow Fever 🤒
- Just say Crazy, Rich, Asians, and I only have one thing to say about the film If they're so rich, how come they are from Singapoor?
- Why Crazy Rich Asian supporters buy tickets and give out for free? Because they're rich and crazy
Cheerful Fun Asians Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about asians you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean asian eye jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make asians pranks.
A man enters a bar only for Asians...
The bouncer asks "What kind of Asian are you?"
The man answers "I am Caucasian"
Asian phone book
Do you know why Asians have a phone book?
Because there's so many Wing and so many Wong someone might Wing the Wong number
Why do asians have such s**... eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty bright.
A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost)
A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small p**....
The other 50% are women.
how do you know asians have broken into your home?
the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway
Why dont Asians go to the theaters?
Because they always see widescreen!
So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-
The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.
(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)
Are you aware....
Are you aware that 80% of asians have Cataracts.
The rest drive Rincolns.
I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Work hard, Pray hard"....
I couldn't tell if there were Christians or Asians.
What do Asians do during an e**...?
They vote
How do Asians name their babies?
They throw a drawer of silverware down the stairs and name it whatever sound it makes.
When your phone is wet, put it in a bag of rice
...the rice will attract Asians, and they will proceed to fix your phone.
How to fix water-damaged electronics
If you drop your phone in water, just leave it in a bag of rice over night.
The rice attracts Asians who will come fix it for you.
Why do Asians have s**... eyes?
because their future is so bright
Why don't Asians like bowling
Because it's bowring
I'm sorry
How do you call people that are always squinting at you?
Asians
My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world...
Me: There are asian gangs too
My mom: And they're called study groups!
Between all the plane crashes and their infamous driving...
I'm beginning to think Asians are just bad at transportation.
Why are Asians such cowards?
Cuz they're yellow-bellied
A guy just told me "All asians are ninjas"
I wanted to tell him how racist that was, but he was black and i didn't want to get beat down
Did you know 50% of Asians in America have cataracts?
The other half drive Lincolns
Breaking up with Asians is so hard.
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.
Which Asians have the softest skin?
Laotians
What do asians call people that fly planes?
Pirates
If you drop your phone in water, submerge it in rice...
...it will attract Asians who will fix fix the phone.
To the guy with the friend who dates Asians....
Maybe he just needs some time to re-orient himself?
Why are Asians no good a football ( soccer) ?
Because whenever they get a corner they open a shop !
What do you call someone who hates Asians
A riceist
I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers...
But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.
Racism is bad.
Or as Asians say 'Lacism'.
50% of Asians have cataracts.
The other 50% drive rinkins.
How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb?
2.
1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.
LPT: If you accidentally get your phone wet, leave it inside a bag of rice overnight.
At night, the rice will attract Asians who will come and fix your phone for you.
My first self-made joke
A professor asks his students "If i told you that 90% of Asians end up not getting married , Will you believe that statement ? "
A student rises up and answers "Yes"
Professor "Why would you believe that ?"
Student "Because Asians are smart"
If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice...
... at night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
Why Asians are good at everything?
Because they're Asians, not Bsians
What's long and hard, except for Asians?
Math class.
Credit to troller_awesomeness
New study shows Asians are more likely to get cataracts...
and wrincolns, and Hondas
My girlfriend says there's no difference between Asians and Caucasians.
She really can't tell White from Wong.
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice.
At night the Asians will come and fix it for you.
Why do asians squint all the time?
Because nukes are so bright
LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight.
When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun
Americans, Asians & Mexicans
What do you call Americans pushing a car up the hill?
A: w**....
What do you call Asians pushing a car up the hill?
A: Asian Power.
What do you call Mexicans pushing a car up the hill?
A: Grand Theft Auto.
What's the hardest part of golf for asians?
Driving
Why do Asians prefer Sony?
Because it's a stereo type
Don't be racist; be like Mario
He's an Italian plumber, made by Asians, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, runs like a black man and grabs coins like a jew.
How do Asians see the world?
In widescreen.
Why do [Mexicans, Jews, Italians, b**..., Asians, Samoans, Indians, Jews again, etc.] stink?
So blind people can hate 'em too
You shouldn't make racist jokes about Asians who cant drive when its raining
Its a slippery slope
Puberty doesn't hit us Asians
Our parents do.
How do you know you've been burgled by asians?
You come home to find your math homework was done, your computer was upgraded, and they're still trying to back down the driveway.
What do you call someone who says derogatory terms about Asians?
A ricist.
(Racist) Why do 50% of Asians have cataracts?
Because the other 50% have Rincolns.
Why do white people rely on asians so much?
Because without them, they'd just be cauc.
Who won the cooking competition between the two Asians?
It was a Thai.
Job choices for Asians
1. Doctor
2. Lawyer
3. Engineer
4. Shame of family
LPT: If your phone gets wet, leave it in some rice to fix it.
The rice will attract Asians who come and fix your phone.
You're welcome.
Why don't Asians drive Mercedes?
Because they hate the thought of a C-class.
Asians aren't bad drivers.
They're just disoriented.
Why are Asians bad at golf?
They don't know how to drive.
if your phone is damaged place it in a bowl of rice
this will attract Asians who will fix your phone.
if no Asians can be attracted with rice try uranium
What do you call someone who stereotypes Asians?
A Rice-ist
Most people "release the hounds" by letting their dogs loose on someone, but Asians do it a bit differently.
They just throw up on the guy.
Yes i'm a race car driver
I drive a bus that has b**..., Americans, browns, Asians, others.
TIL Asians regularly eat insects
I heard they love lice
[Lightbulb] How many Asians does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
2...that's if they are small enough.
Two asians ran a race..
It was a Thai.
What is it called when you discriminate against Asians?
Riceist
What do Asians listen to before bed?
Kanye Rest
Wet phone solution.
Person 1: If you drop your phone into some water, fill a bag with rice and put the phone in the bag and sit it on the kitchen bench overnight.
During the night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your broken electronics.
Person 2: Dude, that's not how it works. They would eat the rice too.
There are two kinds of Asians...
The kind you see drifting in Tokyo Drift, and the other you see drifting around roundabouts.
Why do Asians get nosebleeds when turned on?
Because their small members cannot accumulate all the blood flow.
A friend told me that Asians are the best at computer games because they use two keyboards instead of one.
But that's just stereo typing.
They say I'm racist against asians.
But I play Pikmin and I like the yellow ones!
How do you know there are no Asians leading the White Walker armies in Game of Thrones?
Because two Wongs don't make a wight.
I was in a comedy club where the performer referred to asians with the n-word in one of his jokes.
I thought that was a bit off-color.
Pupil: My neighbour, Mr Chang, got run over and killed by a steam roller. Teacher: Johnny! That's awful and has nothing to do with the homework I set you. Sit down immediately!
Pupil: But Miss, you said we had to talk about crushed Asians.
Studying engineering in school is like World War 2.
The objective is clear, there's an obvious enemy, and everyone is fighting for the same cause.
Interviewing to get an engineering job is like Vietnam. Everybody tells you a different objective, you're not properly equipped for the environment, and the Asians are always one step ahead.
When do Asians gain the most weight?
When their dog dies
Which video game is asians favourite?
For Honor
Why do Asians hate football?
Because they spend 13 hours a day making them.
