The Best 89 Asians Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Asians jokes. There are some asians widescreen jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these asians asian insults puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Asians Jokes and Puns

A man enters a bar only for Asians...

The bouncer asks "What kind of Asian are you?"

The man answers "I am Caucasian"

Asian phone book

Do you know why Asians have a phone book?

Because there's so many Wing and so many Wong someone might Wing the Wong number

Why do asians have such squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty bright.

Asians joke, Why do asians have such squinty eyes?

A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost)

A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small penises.

The other 50% are women.

how do you know asians have broken into your home?

the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway

So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-

The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.

(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)

Are you aware....

Are you aware that 80% of asians have Cataracts.

The rest drive Rincolns.

Asians joke, Are you aware....

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Work hard, Pray hard"....

I couldn't tell if there were Christians or Asians.

What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

How do Asians name their babies?

They throw a drawer of silverware down the stairs and name it whatever sound it makes.

When your phone is wet, put it in a bag of rice

...the rice will attract Asians, and they will proceed to fix your phone.

You can explore asians dudes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean asians rincoln dad jokes. There are also asians puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How to fix water-damaged electronics

If you drop your phone in water, just leave it in a bag of rice over night.

The rice attracts Asians who will come fix it for you.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

Why don't Asians like bowling

Because it's bowring

I'm sorry

My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world...

Me: There are asian gangs too
My mom: And they're called study groups!

A guy just told me "All asians are ninjas"

I wanted to tell him how racist that was, but he was black and i didn't want to get beat down

Asians joke, A guy just told me "All asians are ninjas"

Did you know 50% of Asians in America have cataracts?

The other half drive Lincolns

Breaking up with Asians is so hard.

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.

Which Asians have the softest skin?


What do asians call people that fly planes?


If you drop your phone in water, submerge it in rice... will attract Asians who will fix fix the phone.

To the guy with the friend who dates Asians....

Maybe he just needs some time to re-orient himself?

Why are Asians no good a football ( soccer) ?

Because whenever they get a corner they open a shop !

What do you call someone who hates Asians

A riceist

I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers...

But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.

50% of Asians have cataracts.

The other 50% drive rinkins.

How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb?


1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.

LPT: If you accidentally get your phone wet, leave it inside a bag of rice overnight.

At night, the rice will attract Asians who will come and fix your phone for you.

My first self-made joke

A professor asks his students "If i told you that 90% of Asians end up not getting married , Will you believe that statement ? "
A student rises up and answers "Yes"
Professor "Why would you believe that ?"
Student "Because Asians are smart"

If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice...

... at night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

New study shows Asians are more likely to get cataracts...

and wrincolns, and Hondas

My girlfriend says there's no difference between Asians and Caucasians.

She really can't tell White from Wong.

If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice.

At night the Asians will come and fix it for you.

Why do asians squint all the time?

Because nukes are so bright

LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight.

When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun

Americans, Asians & Mexicans

What do you call Americans pushing a car up the hill?

A: White Power.

What do you call Asians pushing a car up the hill?

A: Asian Power.

What do you call Mexicans pushing a car up the hill?

A: Grand Theft Auto.

What's the hardest part of golf for asians?


Why do Asians prefer Sony?

Because it's a stereo type

Don't be racist; be like Mario

He's an Italian plumber, made by Asians, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, runs like a black man and grabs coins like a jew.

How do Asians see the world?

In widescreen.

You shouldn't make racist jokes about Asians who cant drive when its raining

Its a slippery slope

Puberty doesn't hit us Asians

Our parents do.

How do you know you've been burgled by asians?

You come home to find your math homework was done, your computer was upgraded, and they're still trying to back down the driveway.

(Racist) Why do 50% of Asians have cataracts?

Because the other 50% have Rincolns.

Who won the cooking competition between the two Asians?

It was a Thai.

Job choices for Asians

1. Doctor
2. Lawyer
3. Engineer
4. Shame of family

Asians aren't bad drivers.

They're just disoriented.

Why are Asians bad at golf?

They don't know how to drive.

TIL Asians regularly eat insects

I heard they love lice

Asians are sooo bad at driving....

I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

[Lightbulb] How many Asians does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

2...that's if they are small enough.

Two asians ran a race..

It was a Thai.

What is it called when you discriminate against Asians?


Wet phone solution.

Person 1: If you drop your phone into some water, fill a bag with rice and put the phone in the bag and sit it on the kitchen bench overnight.
During the night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your broken electronics.

Person 2: Dude, that's not how it works. They would eat the rice too.

There are two kinds of Asians...

The kind you see drifting in Tokyo Drift, and the other you see drifting around roundabouts.

A friend told me that Asians are the best at computer games because they use two keyboards instead of one.

But that's just stereo typing.

Pupil: My neighbour, Mr Chang, got run over and killed by a steam roller. Teacher: Johnny! That's awful and has nothing to do with the homework I set you. Sit down immediately!

Pupil: But Miss, you said we had to talk about crushed Asians.

Studying engineering in school is like World War 2.

The objective is clear, there's an obvious enemy, and everyone is fighting for the same cause.

Interviewing to get an engineering job is like Vietnam. Everybody tells you a different objective, you're not properly equipped for the environment, and the Asians are always one step ahead.

When do Asians gain the most weight?

When their dog dies

Which video game is asians favourite?

For Honor

Why do Asians hate football?

Because they spend 13 hours a day making them.

I once told a racist joke in an elevator full of Asians..

It was wrong on so many levels

The head of the CIA tells you that he has a secret assignment for you to do.

Specifically, he tells you to meet him at a Tokyo restaurant and to wear an Asian costume.

When you ask him what exactly you need to wear an Asian costume for, he says:

"I want us to be secret Asians."

What happens to Asians when they become American citizens?

They get very disoriented.

Why are Asians so good at Math?

Their dogs can't eat their homework.

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit?

Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.

If you drop your phone in water...

Put it in a bowl of rice, at night it will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

Two midget asians sit atop each other and get makeup to look Caucasian for a movie, the director says no because

two wongs don't make a white

Gorillas see us how we see aliens, skinnier, smarter, less hair

Or you might call them Asians

9/10 Asians have cataracts

The 10th one has a Mercedes

My phone stopped working!!! what do i do?

Then someone said put it in rice... BUT WHY?... The rice attracts asians which secretly repair your phone at night...

It's not you, it's me...

Some Asians viewing their group photos

Karate student to his master: "Master Akira, why do asians all look the same?

"I am not Master Akira"

Why don't Asians get cataracts?

They rike rexuses

Why are black Asians bad at golf?

Because they can't drive and every time they walk on a golf course a cop tries to put a hole in one

Someone told me that I have a very narrow worldview

Well... that's how we Asians see things.

What's the difference between a Japanese Restaurant and a Japanese car accident?

One has lots of crustaceans, the other has lots of crushed Asians.

I just saw Crazy Rich Asians and I have one problem with the film

If they're so rich, why are they from Singapoor?

What call three hispanica, three Asians, and three black people in a group?

A sprinkler
SpinkSpinkSpink ChinkChinkChink NiggaNiggaNigga
(Sounds of a sprinkler)

What do rich, blind, Asians drive?


Why do asians hate arguing with me

Because I'm white and they're always wong

Why does logan paul never highfive ricegum

He leaves asians hanging

It's a dog-eat-dog world.

That's why the Asians are on top.

Why did Coronavirus spread so quickly?

Because Asians never fail tests!

What's the difference between Caucasians and Asians?

The cauc.

Have you heard about the controversy regarding asians westernizing their surnames?

Honestly, it's hard to know who's White or Wong.

What does a crab have in common with a Chinese guy who gets run over by a bus?

They're both crushed Asians.

How do asians call an elevator?

By pressing the button like everybody else.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the asians asian guy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working asians asian indian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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