Asians Jokes
139 asians jokes and hilarious asians puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about asians that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Asians Short Jokes
Short asians jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The asians humour may include short asian guy jokes also.
- What asian stereo type do you hear the most? Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.
- I think my family is racist
I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and my wife and kids were very rude to her. - My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again And I don't know if I should tell him.
- I think my wife is racist. I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and now my wife isn't talking to me.
- Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said "You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian." - Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste! It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days.
It's been 2 weeks and I'm still Asian. - Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit? Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.
- How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people? Use a Geiger counter
*Cr - I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice
- My Asian friend came out .. My Asian friend came out to his dad today and said "Dad I'm gay" . His dad after being angry for a moment said, "why not Gay+"
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Asians One Liners
Which asians one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with asians? I can suggest the ones about asian girl and asian father.
- My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes It was the end of my Korea
- COVID 19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
- I once thought I had a japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.
- My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.
- Asian Keanu Asian Keanu arrives at party.
Asian Keanu gets bored.
Asian Keanu Reeves. - What do you call a rich asian? Cha Ching
- I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name
- I had a race with an Asian today It was a thai
- How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
- Why are Asians so good at Math? Their dogs can't eat their homework.
- What language do Asian Karen's speak? Demandarin.
- Don't be racist. It doesn't matter if you're black, asian or normal!
- What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner? All rice, all rice, all rice
- How Long Is An Asian Name. Yes it is.
- What do you call the process of becoming an honorary Asian? Orientation.
Rich Asians Jokes
Here is a list of funny rich asians jokes and even better rich asians puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I just saw Crazy Rich Asians and I have one problem with the film If they're so rich, why are they from Singapoor?
- What do rich, blind, Asians drive? Cataracts
- How do you become rich in Asian countries? Open a car insurance company
- Why are Asian countries so rich Because they rice above their status.
- After watching the movie Crazy Rich Asians, I felt really, really sick. The doctor said that I had contracted Yellow Fever 🤒
- Why Crazy Rich Asian supporters buy tickets and give out for free? Because they're rich and crazy
Cheerful Fun Asians Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about asians you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean asian eye jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make asians pranks.
A man enters a bar only for Asians...
The bouncer asks "What kind of Asian are you?"
The man answers "I am Caucasian"
Asian phone book
Do you know why Asians have a phone book?
Because there's so many Wing and so many Wong someone might Wing the Wong number
Why do Asians love Linkin Park so much?
Because the band itself has an Asian surname
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apple invented a new app, Asians love it.
Introducing the iOpener.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost)
A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small p**....
The other 50% are women.
Why dont Asians go to the theaters?
Because they always see widescreen!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-
The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.
(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)
Asians are caucasians...
..but without a cauc
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Work hard, Pray hard"....
I couldn't tell if there were Christians or Asians.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to fix water-damaged electronics
If you drop your phone in water, just leave it in a bag of rice over night.
The rice attracts Asians who will come fix it for you.
Why don't Asians like bowling
Because it's bowring
I'm sorry
How do you call people that are always squinting at you?
Asians
What is the most common blood type for Asians?
A+
Sorry if it's a repost I just thought of this off the tp of my head.
Why are there so many cat pictures online?
Because Asians like to take a picture before eating.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Asians be like...
ay bb u wan sum duck?
What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?
10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy just told me "All asians are ninjas"
I wanted to tell him how racist that was, but he was black and i didn't want to get beat down
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What do you call an intersection where a lot of Asians cross?
A cross-wok.
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How do Asians name their child?
By dropping silverware on the floor
Breaking up with Asians is so hard.
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.
what do you call a 5 man group all asians and makes gay music k-pop!
Which Asians have the softest skin?
Laotians
What do asians call people that fly planes?
Pirates
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do so many Asians wear glasses?
All that squinting gives them astigmatism
To the guy with the friend who dates Asians....
Maybe he just needs some time to re-orient himself?
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call someone who hates Asians
A riceist
Racism is bad.
Or as Asians say 'Lacism'.
How are Asians and Smart Cars similar?
They are yellow can they only hold small packages
What do young asian children ride?
Ricycles
(not racist I love both rice and asians)
Two people went on a blind date
They were asians
My first self-made joke
A professor asks his students "If i told you that 90% of Asians end up not getting married , Will you believe that statement ? "
A student rises up and answers "Yes"
Professor "Why would you believe that ?"
Student "Because Asians are smart"
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Why do white people have bigger d**... than asians?
Because they're caucasian.
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Why Asians are good at everything?
Because they're Asians, not Bsians
What do you call a fish out of water?
Asians? Idk it's been a rough day.
What do Asians and pornstars enjoy alike?
Ramen
What's long and hard, except for Asians?
Math class.
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The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech
and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Obama. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."
President Obama says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do."
The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and b**..., and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."
President Obama laughs and leans toward the Saudi. "It's because it takes place in the future..."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New study shows Asians are more likely to get cataracts...
and wrincolns, and Hondas
Who get's the best grades?
A-sians
My girlfriend says there's no difference between Asians and Caucasians.
She really can't tell White from Wong.
Why do asians squint all the time?
Because nukes are so bright
LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight.
When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are Asians not optimistic?
Because they have a limited view of life.
Why are sumo wrestlers so effective at conflict resolutions?
They're meaty asians.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been writing a joke about the w**..., b**... and asians...
But it's a bit racey.
What do Asians do with their dogs?
Take them for a wok
What's the hardest part of golf for asians?
Driving
Why do Asians prefer Sony?
Because it's a stereo type
What type of Asians do the most shopping?
Shop-anese
How do Asians see the world?
In widescreen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do [Mexicans, Jews, Italians, b**..., Asians, Samoans, Indians, Jews again, etc.] stink?
So blind people can hate 'em too
Why cant asians drive?
Because cars takes you from A to B
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You shouldn't make racist jokes about Asians who cant drive when its raining
Its a slippery slope
Puberty doesn't hit us Asians
Our parents do.
Why do Asians like to have military time on?
So they can do math
Why are Asians so smart?
They begin with "A"
December 25th for Asians
It's not Christmas, It's Boxing Day Eve.
Job choices for Asians
1. Doctor
2. Lawyer
3. Engineer
4. Shame of family
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
LPT: If your phone gets wet, leave it in some rice to fix it.
The rice will attract Asians who come and fix your phone.
You're welcome.
Why don't Asians drive Mercedes?
Because they hate the thought of a C-class.
Where do asians get groceries when the supermarket is closed?
A pet store
if your phone is damaged place it in a bowl of rice
this will attract Asians who will fix your phone.
if no Asians can be attracted with rice try uranium
What do you call someone who stereotypes Asians?
A Rice-ist
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL Asians regularly eat insects
I heard they love lice
What do Asians use to cover their eyes?
Dental floss
Two asians ran a race..
It was a Thai.
What is it called when you discriminate against Asians?
Riceist
What do Asians listen to before bed?
Kanye Rest
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Wet phone solution.
Person 1: If you drop your phone into some water, fill a bag with rice and put the phone in the bag and sit it on the kitchen bench overnight.
During the night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your broken electronics.
Person 2: Dude, that's not how it works. They would eat the rice too.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Asians get nosebleeds when turned on?
Because their small members cannot accumulate all the blood flow.
A friend told me that Asians are the best at computer games because they use two keyboards instead of one.
But that's just stereo typing.
They say I'm racist against asians.
But I play Pikmin and I like the yellow ones!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Someone once told me that Asians must have a hard time seeing where they're going.
That's just blind racism.
I was in a comedy club where the performer referred to asians with the n-word in one of his jokes.
I thought that was a bit off-color.
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Pupil: My neighbour, Mr Chang, got run over and killed by a steam roller. Teacher: Johnny! That's awful and has nothing to do with the homework I set you. Sit down immediately!
Pupil: But Miss, you said we had to talk about crushed Asians.
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When do Asians gain the most weight?
When their dog dies
Which video game is asians favourite?
For Honor
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a cannibal's favourite type of seafood?
.....Crusty asians...
How do Asians like to fry?
First-crass.
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What´s an asians favourite blood type?
A+
lol haha I hate these kind of jokes...
I once told a racist joke in an elevator full of Asians..
It was wrong on so many levels
The head of the CIA tells you that he has a secret assignment for you to do.
Specifically, he tells you to meet him at a Tokyo restaurant and to wear an Asian costume.
When you ask him what exactly you need to wear an Asian costume for, he says:
"I want us to be secret Asians."
