Asian People Jokes
101 asian people jokes and hilarious asian people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about asian people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Asian People Short Jokes
Short asian people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The asian people humour may include short chinese asian jokes also.
- With the way I see asian people driving, it got me thinking... Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.
- My Asian waiter just handed my food to the wrong customer because he's racist and thinks all white people look the same. Wait, nevermind. That wasn't my waiter.
- How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people? Use a Geiger counter
*Cr - Not sure if Jesus was black or white... ...but he certainly wasn't asian, or people wouldn't be asking him to take the wheel.
- My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world... Me: There are asian gangs too
My mom: And they're called study groups! - So the Asian guy from the Human centipede has a Twitter account... He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him.
- What call three hispanica, three Asians, and three black people in a group? A sprinkler
SpinkSpinkSpink ChinkChinkChink NiggaNiggaNigga
(Sounds of a sprinkler) - I once knew a man who spun Asian people round in a circle a few times and when he was done they would be European It's the truth, he could disorient people.
- Its best to put your phone on some rice when its wet Asian people will come at night and fix it
- Asian people don't like it when others make fun of their eyes They just can't see how funny it is.
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Asian People One Liners
Which asian people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with asian people? I can suggest the ones about chinese people and asian guy.
- I respect all people Black people
Asian people
And normal people - What do asians call people that fly planes? Pirates
- Want to hear a joke about Asian people? Well there's a lot of them.
- Asian people are pretty cool If only they could see that..
- What do Asian people use as blindfolds? Shoe laces.
- Why won't Logan Paul high five Ricegum? He likes leaving asian people hanging
- When asian people go on a merry go round... do they become disoriented?
- Asian people are such bad drivers They keep Korean off the road
- Why don't Asian people play bowling? Because in their country it's boring
- Why do white people rely on asians so much? Because without them, they'd just be cauc.
- What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly? A herrocopter
- How do you call people that are always squinting at you? Asians
- Why is it so hard for people to tell where an Asian person is from? I can do it with ese.
- What do Asian people sing to their children at night? Wok a bye baby.
- Why don't Asian people go pirating ships? Becase they pirate pranes
Playful Asian People Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about asian people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean asian girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make asian people pranks.
Little Johnny was always late for school.
When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle.
Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket.
Next day Johnny was on time.
The teacher had history class.
"What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student.
"Asians", said the student.
"What are the people in Africa called".
"Africans" said the student.
Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean."
To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
Mitt Romney and the King of Saudi-Arabia are having a dinner party...
...the mood of the night is very good and after they spent a while talking about what new amazing things they have bought for themselves and the amount of money they managed to acquire in the past year, as well as all sorts of political matters they come to some lighter topics.
So the King says to Mitt:
"I really like parts of American culture, especially American television. My favourite show in the world is 'Star Trek'. But I only have one question about it. On the ship there are Asians, Caucasians, Africans, Latin- and Native Americans and all sorts of other people from around the world and the universe, but there are no Arabs on the ship. Why is that?"
Mitt shruggs his shoulders and replies:
"Well it is set in the future..."
The Yin and Yang of dumplings and kebabs
An old asian man operates a store on the bottom floor of his house where he sells dumplings and kebabs. The dumplings are known for being the best in the entire city, but the kebabs are completely disgusting. The strange thing is, whenever you order a dumpling, you must also get a kebab with it. When people try to order just a dumpling, the old man straight up refuses. Many people avoid the shop for this reason.
One day, the man's nephew comes in, and asks "uncle, you know everybody loves your dumplings and hates your kebabs, right? You could probably get more business if you only sold dumplings." The old man leans in with a knowing smile, and says "I know that everyone loves my dumplings and hates the kebabs... But for all the light in this world, there must also be dark. Where something good is found, there must also be something bad. It is the way of the universe. Also this house has no toilet."
Not to be racist but...
Every movie is widescreen to Asian people.
There's no such thing as a funny joke about white people...prove me wrong
I am equal opportunity when it comes to dirty and offensive jokes. Black jokes, Asian jokes whatever, I think they're funny. However, I have never actually found a white people joke that I've actually really, truly laughed at. Please post your best white people joke. Show me funny ones do exist.
4 worst drivers
Women
Asians
Old people
And the combination of the 3
What do you call a lesbian asian who is is racist towards white people?
An anti-c**... asian
A VIEW
DO ASIAN PEOPLE VIEW THE WORLD IN LETTERBOX EDITION?
Why are Asian people so good at math?
Because they're very detail oriental.
Fluctuations
I will never hear or see this word again without thinking of this joke...
I was at my bank today ( in London ); and there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"..
All white people are part Asian...
Their c**...'s Asian
JAKE'S FUNNEH JOKE
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
Why do black people like basketball so much?
Because it has running, shooting, and stealing. That one always cracks me up!
Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we aren't allowed to own slaves anymore! Haha!
What do you call asians after a nuclear bomb attack?
Rice Krispies! Hahaha!
What can't you play UNO with a mexican?
Because they will always steal the green cards! Hahaha!
Ok, I pretty much made jokes about all the races I could think of, so there, we can all enjoy some laughs while all being offended!
dumb joke
what do asian people do first thing in the morning?
they put on japants!
I feel bad for people who payed $100 to watch the fight.
if they wanted to see a c**... black dude and a well-mannered asian cuddle they should've just rented Rush Hour
Which insect do asian people eat the most of?
Lice
Two people went on a blind date
They were asians
LPT - If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of uncooked rice overnight.
The rice will attract Asian people who will then fix your phone.
Tried, tested, true
Why do white people have bigger d**... than asians?
Because they're caucasian.
REQUEST: Racist "White" jokes, please.
I know DOZENS of Racist Jokes. But only a couple (not very good) Racist White Jokes.
For example:
Did you hear about the 2 house fire in Mexico?
Thousands died.
Why do Mexican's drive low-riders?
So they can pick strawberries from their car.
A man walks into a Bar with a Parrot on his shoulder.
The Bartender says: "Wow, that's awesome! Where can I get one?"
The Parrot Replies: "Africa! There's millions of them!"
Seriously though: I love Black People.
I think everyone should own one.
How do Asians name their children?
They throw their pots and pans in their air and record the sounds:
Ping Bang Pow.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
The only "White Joke" I know is:
White people are born purple.
Then turn pink.
When they're mad, they're red.
When they're sick they're green.
When they're scared they're yellow.
When they're cold they're blue.
And have the nerve to call everyone else colored.
So: Does anyone have any "White Jokes" for me?
Why will there never be an Asian president?
Because the American people could never make it through the e**... without raughing.
I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me
who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"
An Asian guy, Hispanic guy, white guy, black guy and their pilot are on a plane...
Suddenly the plane loses control and the pilot says, "If three people jump off, the rest can survive.
The Asian guy goes "This is for my people" and jumps off.
The Hispanic guy goes "This is for my people" and jumps off.
The black guy goes "This is for my people", and kicks the white guy off the plane.
What is the weakest armour made out of?
Asian People
A man walks onto a bus full of asian people dressed as skeletons and asks:
I'm trying to get to manchester, is this the wight bus or the wong bus?
How do Asians execute white people?
They cut off their heads using a Gweilotine.
Why do [Mexicans, Jews, Italians, b**..., Asians, Samoans, Indians, Jews again, etc.] stink?
So blind people can hate 'em too
So I was at my bank today.
There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"
Racist Joke
White Black Hispanic and Asian man standing on the tallest mountain. Asian man steps up and say ''this is for my people'' and jumps off the mountain, Hispanic man steps up and screams ''this is for my people'' and jumps off the mountain, black man steps up and yell ''this is for my people'' and grabs the white man and throws him off the mountain.
What do you call an asian who hates black people?
A member of the Kru Krux Kran
Why are Asian people's eyes s**...?
Because nukes are really bright.
Most people "release the hounds" by letting their dogs loose on someone, but Asians do it a bit differently.
They just throw up on the guy.
(OFFENSIVE)Why cant asian people have good kids?
Two wongs don't make a right.
I gave and Asian person my seat on a bus
20 people died that day
What do you call white people pushing a car up a hill?
w**....
What do you call asian people pushing a car up a hill?
Asian power.
What do you call mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
Grand theft auto.
An Asian lady walks into a bank
She is trying to exchange yen for sterling.
She rants at the cashier " yesterday I get 200 pounds for 1 yen, today I only get 180, why is this? ".
The cashier replies " fluctuations ",
the lady replies " fluck you white people too".
There are 3 people on a roof.
They are Asian, American, and Mexican. They each throw off one thing they have the most of. The Asian throws noodles, Mexicans throw off tacos, and the American throws off the Mexican.
My friend just told me people of African descent are genetically engineered to become D1 athletes
So are Asians if you add an M
A plane is about to c**.....
A plane is about to c**.... The white woman begins to put make up on... everyone asks her what she is doing. She says its because everyone looks for the prettiest woman first. An asian woman stuffs a bunch of money into her clothes, someone asks her what she is doing... She says that they always look for the richest people first. The black woman takes off her pants, then her p**...... everyone yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" The black woman replies, "They always look for the black box first!"
Everything is a choice.
Black people can choose to get offended by black slurs,Asian people can choose to get offended by Asian slurs,White people can choose to get offended by black slurs.
What Kind Of Ping Pong Do Asian People Play?
c**... Ling Long Ting Tong ping pong
Exchange rate
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.
Why are there so few Asian people named Alan?
Because they are all Aaron by default
There are 3 types of bad drivers: Asians, old people...
and old Asian people
I never understood why dead people were referred to as "late"
until I came home drunk at 2 am to my asian parents.
Since white people have bigger d**... than Asians,
is that the reason they removed Cauc from Caucasians?
What do you call an Irish woman that accidentally poisons people with her Asian cuisine?
Thai food Mary.
Currency trading
I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.
a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.
a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.
the guy said to me in an annoyed voice " why one week $120, then $105, then $135! - why the difference?!!?"
I says to him "fluctuations"
He responds "fluck you white people"
White people believe in Jesus Christ
Asian people believe in cheese and rice.
So I saw a couple of asians doing sign language
I thought it was wierd because sign language is supposed to be for deaf people.
White people do make weirder food than Asians
The Chinese just put minced pork in dough and called it dumplings, but Germans just HAD to use pig intestines
Why are southeast Asian countries' people so k**...?
Because they Bangkok in Thigh land.
My nephew(12) requested I post this joke cause he wanted to see how people will respond What's yellow, very hormonal and can't drive?
An Asian woman
What's with the racism?
I find it annoying how people say Asians have small p**.....it's just misrepresentasian.
An Asian driver is being interrogated after an accident
Detective: So, how did you end up killing 49 people?
Jackie: I was driving over 90km/h when I saw 2 men crossing the road. And on the other side, there was a wedding taking place. I hit the brakes but they failed, so I had to make a choice:
Either I hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Detective: Hit the 2 men of course.
Chan: Exactly! We think alike. But after hitting one, the other man escaped into the wedding party, so I went after him.
If you drop your phone in water you should place it in a bowl of rice.
Asian people are attracted to the rice and are very good at repairing electronic devices.
NB. Thanks for being good sports Asian people!
I was at my bank today...
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange money for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollars, today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"
A young Chinese man is asking a wise monk:
"Master Chong-Li, why does everyone think we Asian people all look the same?"
and he responds: "Who the h**... is master Chong-Li?"
