Asian People Jokes
68 asian people jokes and hilarious asian people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about asian people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Asian People Short Jokes
Short asian people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The asian people humour may include short chinese asian jokes also.
- How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people? Use a Geiger counter
*Cr - So the Asian guy from the Human centipede has a Twitter account... He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him.
- Everything is a choice. Black people can choose to get offended by black slurs,Asian people can choose to get offended by Asian slurs,White people can choose to get offended by black slurs.
- A man walks onto a bus full of asian people dressed as skeletons and asks: I'm trying to get to manchester, is this the wight bus or the wong bus?
- LPT - If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of uncooked rice overnight. The rice will attract Asian people who will then fix your phone.
Tried, tested, true - I never understood why dead people were referred to as "late" until I came home drunk at 2 am to my asian parents.
- Why are Asian people so good at math? Because they're very detail oriental.
- A VIEW DO ASIAN PEOPLE VIEW THE WORLD IN LETTERBOX EDITION?
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Asian People One Liners
Which asian people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with asian people? I can suggest the ones about chinese people and asian guy.
- I respect all people Black people
Asian people
And normal people - What do asians call people that fly planes? Pirates
- Asian people are pretty cool If only they could see that..
- What do Asian people use as blindfolds? Shoe laces.
- When asian people go on a merry go round... do they become disoriented?
- Why don't Asian people play bowling? Because in their country it's boring
- What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly? A herrocopter
- How do you call people that are always squinting at you? Asians
- What do Asian people sing to their children at night? Wok a bye baby.
- Why don't Asian people go pirating ships? Becase they pirate pranes
- Which insect do asian people eat the most of? Lice
- Why are there so few Asian people named Alan? Because they are all Aaron by default
- What is the weakest armour made out of? Asian People
- Two people went on a blind date They were asians
- How do Asian people say "You know"? €
Playful Asian People Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about asian people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean asian girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make asian people pranks.
Little Johnny was always late for school.
When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle.
Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket.
Next day Johnny was on time.
The teacher had history class.
"What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student.
"Asians", said the student.
"What are the people in Africa called".
"Africans" said the student.
Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean."
To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
Mitt Romney and the King of Saudi-Arabia are having a dinner party...
...the mood of the night is very good and after they spent a while talking about what new amazing things they have bought for themselves and the amount of money they managed to acquire in the past year, as well as all sorts of political matters they come to some lighter topics.
So the King says to Mitt:
"I really like parts of American culture, especially American television. My favourite show in the world is 'Star Trek'. But I only have one question about it. On the ship there are Asians, Caucasians, Africans, Latin- and Native Americans and all sorts of other people from around the world and the universe, but there are no Arabs on the ship. Why is that?"
Mitt shruggs his shoulders and replies:
"Well it is set in the future..."
The Yin and Yang of dumplings and kebabs
An old asian man operates a store on the bottom floor of his house where he sells dumplings and kebabs. The dumplings are known for being the best in the entire city, but the kebabs are completely disgusting. The strange thing is, whenever you order a dumpling, you must also get a kebab with it. When people try to order just a dumpling, the old man straight up refuses. Many people avoid the shop for this reason.
One day, the man's nephew comes in, and asks "uncle, you know everybody loves your dumplings and hates your kebabs, right? You could probably get more business if you only sold dumplings." The old man leans in with a knowing smile, and says "I know that everyone loves my dumplings and hates the kebabs... But for all the light in this world, there must also be dark. Where something good is found, there must also be something bad. It is the way of the universe. Also this house has no toilet."
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Not to be racist but...
Every movie is widescreen to Asian people.
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What do you call a lesbian asian who is is racist towards white people?
An anti-c**... asian
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All white people are part Asian...
Their c**...'s Asian
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dumb joke
what do asian people do first thing in the morning?
they put on japants!
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I feel bad for people who payed $100 to watch the fight.
if they wanted to see a c**... black dude and a well-mannered asian cuddle they should've just rented Rush Hour
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Why do white people have bigger d**... than asians?
Because they're caucasian.
REQUEST: Racist "White" jokes, please.
I know DOZENS of Racist Jokes. But only a couple (not very good) Racist White Jokes.
For example:
Did you hear about the 2 house fire in Mexico?
Thousands died.
Why do Mexican's drive low-riders?
So they can pick strawberries from their car.
A man walks into a Bar with a Parrot on his shoulder.
The Bartender says: "Wow, that's awesome! Where can I get one?"
The Parrot Replies: "Africa! There's millions of them!"
Seriously though: I love Black People.
I think everyone should own one.
How do Asians name their children?
They throw their pots and pans in their air and record the sounds:
Ping Bang Pow.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
The only "White Joke" I know is:
White people are born purple.
Then turn pink.
When they're mad, they're red.
When they're sick they're green.
When they're scared they're yellow.
When they're cold they're blue.
And have the nerve to call everyone else colored.
So: Does anyone have any "White Jokes" for me?
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Why will there never be an Asian president?
Because the American people could never make it through the e**... without raughing.
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Why do [Mexicans, Jews, Italians, b**..., Asians, Samoans, Indians, Jews again, etc.] stink?
So blind people can hate 'em too
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Racist Joke
White Black Hispanic and Asian man standing on the tallest mountain. Asian man steps up and say ''this is for my people'' and jumps off the mountain, Hispanic man steps up and screams ''this is for my people'' and jumps off the mountain, black man steps up and yell ''this is for my people'' and grabs the white man and throws him off the mountain.
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What do asian people say when Adele sends n**...
Nudele
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What do you call white people pushing a car up a hill?
w**....
What do you call asian people pushing a car up a hill?
Asian power.
What do you call mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
Grand theft auto.
There are 3 people on a roof.
They are Asian, American, and Mexican. They each throw off one thing they have the most of. The Asian throws noodles, Mexicans throw off tacos, and the American throws off the Mexican.
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A plane is about to c**.....
A plane is about to c**.... The white woman begins to put make up on... everyone asks her what she is doing. She says its because everyone looks for the prettiest woman first. An asian woman stuffs a bunch of money into her clothes, someone asks her what she is doing... She says that they always look for the richest people first. The black woman takes off her pants, then her p**...... everyone yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" The black woman replies, "They always look for the black box first!"
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What Kind Of Ping Pong Do Asian People Play?
c**... Ling Long Ting Tong ping pong
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Since white people have bigger d**... than Asians,
is that the reason they removed Cauc from Caucasians?
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So I saw a couple of asians doing sign language
I thought it was wierd because sign language is supposed to be for deaf people.
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Why are southeast Asian countries' people so k**...?
Because they Bangkok in Thigh land.
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Why is it so hard for people to tell where an Asian person is from?
I can do it with ese.
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Asian people don't like it when others make fun of their eyes
They just can't see how funny it is.
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What's with the racism?
I find it annoying how people say Asians have small p**.....it's just misrepresentasian.
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An Asian driver is being interrogated after an accident
Detective: So, how did you end up killing 49 people?
Jackie: I was driving over 90km/h when I saw 2 men crossing the road. And on the other side, there was a wedding taking place. I hit the brakes but they failed, so I had to make a choice:
Either I hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Detective: Hit the 2 men of course.
Chan: Exactly! We think alike. But after hitting one, the other man escaped into the wedding party, so I went after him.
If you drop your phone in water you should place it in a bowl of rice.
Asian people are attracted to the rice and are very good at repairing electronic devices.
NB. Thanks for being good sports Asian people!
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Want to hear a joke about Asian people?
Well there's a lot of them.
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A young Chinese man is asking a wise monk:
"Master Chong-Li, why does everyone think we Asian people all look the same?"
and he responds: "Who the h**... is master Chong-Li?"
I know we're all supposed to be tolerant of people from other cultures, but is it too much to ask that Asian waiters learn that all Caucasians don't look alike? My waiter just served my food to some other customer!
Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.
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My Asian waiter just handed my food to the wrong customer because he's racist and thinks all white people look the same.
Wait, nevermind. That wasn't my waiter.
