The Best 87 Asian Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Asian jokes. There are some asian chang jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these asian asian insults puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Asian Jokes and Puns

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

I ordered an Asian Hooker, she arrived 2 hours late

She loves me wrong time.

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other??

Irene

Asian joke, What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other??

What do you call the process of becoming an honorary Asian?

Orientation.

Why do asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.


What do you call a black asian?

Thai-rone.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other

Ilene.

What do you cal an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene

Asian joke, What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other

how do you know asians have broken into your home?

the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway

An Asian woman brings her large Irish boyfriend to meet her traditional parents

Her mother says:

"You bring great Shamus to this family."

How do you blindfold an Asian woman?

Put a windshield in front of her.

A newlywed Asian couple are on the first night of their honeymoon and have saved it for marriage

The husband says to his wife, "What do you want to do? We can try anything you want."

The wife says, "I want 69."

The husband replies, "You want beef with broccoli?"

You can explore asian cataracts reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean asian bsian dad jokes. There are also asian puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12...

....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu

So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-

The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.

(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)

What do you call an asian walking a dog?

A vegetarian.

What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

Asian Keanu

Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

Asian joke, Asian Keanu

A panda walks into a restaurant

and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter.

As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!"

"Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!

"The manager opens his dictionary and reads: "Panda: a tree-dwelling-mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white-coloring. Eats, shoots and leaves."

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?

Irene

A Chinese couple named Mr. and Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have a baby...

Mrs. Wong had the baby soon after they arrived, and after they got to see their child, a nurse took it away for medical examinations. When she returned, she was carrying a white baby, not an Asian one. Mr. Wong was surprised and a little annoyed at the mistake and curtly told the nurse to go back and get their actual baby. The nurse insisted that it was the correct child, but Mr. Wong was positive that a mistake had been made, because, as he put it, "Two Wongs don't make a white."


Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world...

Me: There are asian gangs too
My mom: And they're called study groups!

My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia.

Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.

So the Asian guy from the Human Centipede has a Twitter account...

He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him.

I cried when my asian friend chopped onions today

I loved onions, he was a good dog

I was flirting with an Asian girl at a bar last night when I decided to ask for her number.

She replied, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

I said, "Wow!"

Then her friend said, "She means 6663629".

An Asian guy walks into

An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming the
door, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man...

The Jewish man says

"Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"

The Asian man says

"Well at least I can see my grandparents."

Marriage is like having your favorite meal every day...

At first, it's great! But after a week, you're thinking, "Eh, I kinda feel like having Asian tonight."

Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste!

It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days.

It's been 2 weeks and I'm still Asian.

My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again

And I don't know if I should tell him.

I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers...

But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Don't be racist.

It doesn't matter if you're black, asian or normal!

I just held the door open for an Asian guy. He said, "Sank you," so I punched him in the face.

I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.

I had a race with an Asian today

It was a Thai

Where did the little Asian girl go when the little boy dropped by?

Everywhere.

"I'm proud to be a black man"

"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.

"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.

"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.

I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me

who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"

I used to by my dad a neck tie on father's day, but now I buy him an Asian hooker.

It's better to buy a Thai that he'll actually use.

Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said

"You're a lot like a math exam."

I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"

She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."

What do you call a person of Irish and Asian descent?

Rice Paddy.

-

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

So I was at my bank today.

There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.

She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.

The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"

What do you call an Asian man with one leg?

Tai-Wan-Shu

How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian?

Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented

My Asian friend came out ..

My Asian friend came out to his dad today and said "Dad I'm gay" . His dad after being angry for a moment said, "why not Gay+"

I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69

She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice

With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

Telling a racist joke is like getting in a car with an asian driver

If they are not really good, there's a very good chance you'll crash and burn.

I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends?

In an explosion.

I once thought I had a Japanese friend.

But it was just my imagine Asian.

An asian asks for help at an airport...

Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."

Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."

Asian: "fluck you americans too."

I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs.

It was Wong on so many levels

Not sure if Jesus was black or white...

...but he certainly wasn't asian, or people wouldn't be asking him to take the wheel.

Flight back home

Guy was boarding a plane to go back home from a business trip.

As he was boarding another passenger asks him: "our flight looks full what do you think they will do??"

The Asian man flying back home says "beats me"

I like my women like I like my ramen noodles

Hot, cheap, and Asian

Asians are sooo bad at driving....

I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China"

It was her made-in name

Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

What do you call a rich asian?

Cha Ching

I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you".

I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.

Exchange rate

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.

How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people?

Use a Geiger counter

*Cr

I told my Asian parents that i am Asexual

They were disappointed that i wasn't A+sexual.

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?

One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

Why are Asians so good at Math?

Their dogs can't eat their homework.

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

What do you call an Asian in an elevator

Wong on so many levels

On meeting Donald Trump, Kim Jon Un says I will destroy America...

Trump replies, No way, that's my job. I won't have another asian stealing an American job.

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice " why one week $120, then $105, then $135! - why the difference?!!?"

I says to him "fluctuations"

He responds "fluck you white people"

How Long Is An Asian Name.

Yes it is.

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes

It was the end of my Korea

What do Asian cannibals eat?

Raw men

An Asian man goes on a trip to America

He goes to an American Bank to converts his money to dollars, while going through his trip he meets a generous old friend who decides to let him stay in his place and also pay for his expenses during his stay.

After a few days he decides to return back to his country and heads to the bank to convert his money back. But the asian man sees that he received less money than he previously had even though he hadn't spent anything, so he asks about this to the banker.
The banker said," fluctuations ".

The asian man replied," fluck you americans too".

I was at my bank today...

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange money for dollars.

It was obvious she was a little irritated.

She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollars, today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.

Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.

Where do Asian neckbeards come from?

M'laysia

What's your favorite asian stereo type?

Personally, I love sony sound system with surround sound.

An Asian walks into a currency exchange and get $100 back for his exchange

Next day he goes there again and for the same amount of money he receives $94 this time.

He asks the teller "why $6 less today compared to yesterday"

The teller say "fluctuations"

The Asian man get up angrily and storms out slamming the door, turns around and shouts "fluc you Americans too!"

What language do Asian Karen's speak?

Demandarin.

What's a decent Asian Stereotype?

I preffer Sony and Panasonic! What about you?

I think my wife is racist.

I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and now my wife isn't talking to me.

Why do Beginner Chefs cook only Asian food?

They need to Wok before they can run.

What do asians say when they want to do it their way?

It's my way or the Huawei.

I think my family is racist



I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and my wife and kids were very rude to her.

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?

The Wok.

I'll Never Buy Colgate Toothpaste Ever Again...

It says "guaranteed whiteness" after 2 weeks... It has been 4 weeks and I am still Asian.

An English man, a Welsh man and a Pakistani man sat waiting in a maternity ward.

The nurse came into the waiting room holding 3 babies.

sorry gentlemen, there was a little mixup with who's baby is who's.
Sighed the Nurse.

The english man got to his feet and picked up an Asian baby, heading to the exit.

Hold on, that is clearly my child!
The Pakistani man exclaimed.

The English man turned and replied:
There's 2 white babies there and a 50/50 chance I pick a welsh one.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the asian asian guy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working asian asian indian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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