asian Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious asian puns

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

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Asian guy walks into a bar

He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer. The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any or this shit? The asian guy replies: why you ask this, is because I chinese? The other guy replies no it's because you're drinking my fucking beer.

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With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

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What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?

One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

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So I was at my bank today.

There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.

She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.

The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"

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I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me

who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"

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I once thought I had a Japanese friend.

But it was just my imagine Asian.

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I was sitting at a bar last night

And this Asian looking fella sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer.

I glance over at him and ask if he knows any of those martial arts like Kung fu, or Karate or Ju Jitsu. He says no, WTF man!? Are you asking because I'm Chinese?

I said no, it's because you're drinking my beer.

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My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again

And I don't know if I should tell him.

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a joke that isn't racist

a guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks:

"hey do you know, tai quon do, ju jutsu, kung fu or any of that shit?"

offended the Asian man replies:
"what you think that just because i'm asian i know martial arts?"

the man replies: "nah its because you're drinking my fucking burbon"

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I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends?

In an explosion.

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"I'm proud to be a black man"

"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.

"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.

"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.

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How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian?

Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented

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My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia.

Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.

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I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you".

I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.

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How do you blindfold an Asian woman?

Put a windshield in front of her.

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Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said

"You're a lot like a math exam."

I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"

She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."

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Why do asian girls have small boobs?

Because only A's are acceptable.

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I think my entire family is racist.

I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family

My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me.

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Today i was in the bank

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"

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My Asian girlfriend told me there's nothing wrong with having a little penis.

I still wish she didn't have one, though...

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An Asian guy and this girl are driving in a car...

The girl decides it would be nice of her to give the guy a blowjob. They both agree. She starts to take off his pants, but before she gets past his underwear the girl looks up and says"Is it true what they say about Asian guys?" and he turns to her and says" Sadly it is." then he crashes the car and they both die.

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Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

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FLUCTUATIONS

I was at my bank today; there was a short line.

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious that she was a little irritated...

She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today, I only get hunat eighty. Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations..."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

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I told my Asian parents that i am Asexual

They were disappointed that i wasn't A+sexual.

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I was at my bank today...

... there was a short queue. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

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Asian Keanu

Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

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Asians are sooo bad at driving....

I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

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Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

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School is like a boner..

It's long and hard unless you're Asian.

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What do you call a rich asian?

Cha Ching

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I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs.

It was Wong on so many levels

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I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China"

It was her made-in name

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So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-

The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.

(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)

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What do you call a black asian?

Thai-rone.

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What are the most funny Asian jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Asian? Well, here are the best Asian dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Asian pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes