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Asian Jokes

166 asian jokes and hilarious asian puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about asian that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Asian jokes. From clever puns to hilarious one-liners, we've got jokes to make you smile.

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Funniest Asian Short Jokes

Short asian jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The asian humour may include short asian food jokes also.

  1. What Asian stereo type do you hear the most? Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.
  2. With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking... Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.
  3. What's the difference between a lobster and a chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
  4. I think my family is racist
    I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and my wife and kids were very rude to her.
  5. My Asian waiter just handed my food to the wrong customer because he's racist and thinks all white people look the same. Wait, nevermind. That wasn't my waiter.
  6. My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again And I don't know if I should tell him.
  7. I think my wife is racist. I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and now my wife isn't talking to me.
  8. "I'm proud to be a black man" "I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.
    "I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.
    "I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.
  9. How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian? Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented
  10. I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you". I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.

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Asian One Liners

Which asian one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with asian? I can suggest the ones about cataracts and asian guy.

  1. Where do Asian neckbeards come from? M'laysia
  2. My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes It was the end of my Korea
  3. COVID 19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
  4. I once thought I had a japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.
  5. My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.
  6. How do you blindfold an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her.
  7. Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white.
  8. Asian Keanu Asian Keanu arrives at party.
    Asian Keanu gets bored.
    Asian Keanu Reeves.
  9. Asians are sooo bad at driving.... I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.
  10. What do you call a rich asian? Cha Ching
  11. I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was wong on so many levels
  12. I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name
  13. What do you call a black asian? thai-rone.
  14. What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene
  15. I had a race with an Asian today It was a Thai

Asian People Jokes

Here is a list of funny asian people jokes and even better asian people puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people? Use a Geiger counter
    *Cr
  • Not sure if Jesus was black or white... ...but he certainly wasn't asian, or people wouldn't be asking him to take the wheel.
  • My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world... Me: There are asian gangs too
    My mom: And they're called study groups!
  • So the Asian guy from the Human centipede has a Twitter account... He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him.
  • I respect all people Black people
    Asian people
    And normal people
  • What do asians call people that fly planes? Pirates
  • Want to hear a joke about Asian people? Well there's a lot of them.
  • Asian people are pretty cool If only they could see that..
  • What do Asian people use as blindfolds? Shoe laces.
  • Why won't Logan Paul high five Ricegum? He likes leaving asian people hanging

Asian Guy Jokes

Here is a list of funny asian guy jokes and even better asian guy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just held the door open for an Asian guy. He said, "Sank you," so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.
  • Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit? Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.
  • An asian asks for help at an airport... Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."
    Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."
    Asian: "fluck you americans too."
  • I held a door open for an Asian guy and he said "sank you" so i punched him in the face. Serves him right for bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.
    PS: Happy 4th of July
  • What do you call an Asian guy with a video recorder? Phil Ming.
  • As an East Asian guy, I constantly get asked what's my background It's Windows standard.
  • Today, I saw a black guy wave to an Asian from across the street. It gives me hope for the future... Rush Hour 4!
  • Asian guy goes to a eye doctor After the checkup the doctor says "The problem is you have a cataract" then the Asian guy responds with"No I have a tesra"
  • What do you call an Asian guy in a lift. You shouldn't call him names.
    It's Wong on so many levels.
  • How do you know if a guy has an asian wife? He'll tell you.
Asian joke, How do you know if a guy has an asian wife?

Asian Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny asian name jokes and even better asian name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do asian parents give their children short names? More time on tests.
  • How Long Is An Asian Name. Yes it is.
  • Met a 16 year old Asian girl last night. Her name was Tu Yung
  • If my African American father had an Asian name It would be So Long
  • An Asian doctor, SEAL, and astronaut walks into a bar His name is Jonny Kim. Please don't let my mother know about him.
  • What's the name of the Asian guy with a camcorder? Phil Ming.
  • How Long Is An Asian Name It wasn't a question, hence the missing question mark. How Long really is an Asian name!
  • My Asian friend got his Jewish wife pregnant. I guess "Cha Ching" wasn't an appropriate name suggestion
  • I once knew an Asian lady with one leg... Her name was Irene.
  • I'm proud to be a Asian descent, with my family name Chao. When we have family gatherings… It's completely Chaos!

Asian Wong Jokes

Here is a list of funny asian wong jokes and even better asian wong puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call an Asian in an elevator Wong on so many levels
  • An Asian couple had an albino baby. Just goes to show, 2 Wongs can make a white.
  • What did the Asian man say to his wife when the hospital nursery tried to send them home with a blonde hair, blue-eye baby? Hmmm... two Wongs don't make a white.
  • There was that asian guy who fell down a bunch of stairs It was Wong on so many levels
  • Have you heard about the controversy regarding asians westernizing their surnames? Honestly, it's hard to know who's White or Wong.
  • Why do asians hate arguing with me Because I'm white and they're always wong
  • Two midget asians sit atop each other and get makeup to look Caucasian for a movie, the director says no because two wongs don't make a white
  • How can u tell the difference between a Caucasian and an asian? One is white, the other is Wong
  • Asian phone book Do you know why Asians have a phone book?
    Because there's so many Wing and so many Wong someone might Wing the Wong number
  • What do you say to someone who threw an Asian guy down the stairs? That is Wong on so many levels.
Asian joke, What do you say to someone who threw an Asian guy down the stairs?

Comical Asian Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about asian you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean asian girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make asian pranks.

Three women (redhead, blondie and an asian) have just escaped a prison, and the cops are looking for them...

The girls were running trough the city and went into one of those fruit/ vegetables' market to hide, and find 3 bag of potatoes big enough for them to hide inside.
After a while, one cop that is looking for them finds the bags, and realize that they're kind of weird... So he approaches and kicks the first potatoe's bag, with the asian girl inside...
The asian girl, quickly respond the kick with barking noises: ruff ruff
"Oh... These are just a few dogs!", says the cop.
He then approaches to the second potatoe's bag, with the redhead inside, and kicks it as well.
"Meow... Meow", the redhead answers.
"Oh... These are just a few cats!", says the cop.
Finally, he gets close to the third potatoe's bag, with the blondie inside, and kicks it too.
The voice inside the bags respond:
"Potatoes".

I ordered an Asian h**..., she arrived 2 hours late

She loves me wrong time.

What do you call the process of becoming an honorary Asian?

Orientation.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other

Ilene.
What do you cal an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Irene

how do you know asians have broken into your home?

the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway

An Asian woman brings her large Irish boyfriend to meet her traditional parents

Her mother says:
"You bring great Shamus to this family."

A newlywed Asian couple are on the first night of their honeymoon and have saved it for marriage

The husband says to his wife, "What do you want to do? We can try anything you want."
The wife says, "I want 69."
The husband replies, "You want beef with broccoli?"

Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12...

....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu

So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-

The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.
(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)

What do you call an asian walking a dog?

A vegetarian.

What do Asians do during an e**...?

They vote

A panda walks into a restaurant

and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter.
As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!"
"Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!
"The manager opens his dictionary and reads: "Panda: a tree-dwelling-mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white-coloring. Eats, shoots and leaves."

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?

Irene

A Chinese couple named Mr. and Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have a baby...

Mrs. Wong had the baby soon after they arrived, and after they got to see their child, a nurse took it away for medical examinations. When she returned, she was carrying a white baby, not an Asian one. Mr. Wong was surprised and a little annoyed at the mistake and curtly told the nurse to go back and get their actual baby. The nurse insisted that it was the correct child, but Mr. Wong was positive that a mistake had been made, because, as he put it, "Two Wongs don't make a white."

Why do Asians have s**... eyes?

because their future is so bright

Reflection vs Refraction

the point at which I realize how lucky I am to not have an Asian professor.

I cried when my asian friend chopped onions today

I loved onions, he was a good dog

What do Asian pirates do?

They fry pranes!

I was flirting with an Asian girl at a bar last night when I decided to ask for her number.

She replied, "s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!"

I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 6663629".

An Asian guy walks into

An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming the
door, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man...

The Jewish man says
"Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"
The Asian man says
"Well at least I can see my grandparents."

Marriage is like having your favorite meal every day...

At first, it's great! But after a week, you're thinking, "Eh, I kinda feel like having Asian tonight."

Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste!

It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days.
It's been 2 weeks and I'm still Asian.

I was holding a door open for an Asian Guy.

I was holding a door open for an Asian Guy.
Once he went though, He said, 'Sank you'.
I Swore at him and kicked him in the Shin.
I Then said, 'Never bring up Pearl Harbor like that'

I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers...

But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Don't be racist.

It doesn't matter if you're black, asian or normal!

What do you call an Asian gold digger?

Cha Ching

Where did the little Asian girl go when the little boy dropped by?

Everywhere.

If you take an Asian man and spin him around 3 times...

Does he become disoriented?

What do you call a lost Asian man?

Disoriental

I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me

who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"

I used to by my dad a neck tie on father's day, but now I buy him an Asian h**....

It's better to buy a Thai that he'll actually use.

Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said

"You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."

Why do Asians prefer Sony?

Because it's a stereo type

What do you call a person of Irish and Asian descent?

Rice p**....
-

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

So I was at my bank today.

There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"

I know kung fu, tae kwan do, ninjitsu, karate, tia chi...

and a few other asian words.

What do you call an Asian man with one leg?

Tai-Wan-Shu

My Asian friend came out ..

My Asian friend came out to his dad today and said "Dad I'm gay" . His dad after being angry for a moment said, "why not Gay+"

I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69

She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice

Telling a racist joke is like getting in a car with an asian driver

If they are not really good, there's a very good chance you'll c**... and burn.

I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends?

In an e**....

I call my Asian friend Spongebob

Because he's yellow and can't drive

Why did the Asian pilot get arrested at the airport?

TSA thought he said he was going to "pirate" the plane.

Flight back home

Guy was boarding a plane to go back home from a business trip.
As he was boarding another passenger asks him: "our flight looks full what do you think they will do??"
The Asian man flying back home says "beats me"

I like my women like I like my ramen noodles

Hot, cheap, and Asian

How do you get the Asian out of a China man?

Spin him around until he's disoriented.

What do you call an asian marksman?

Precise Lee

Exchange rate

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.

I told my Asian parents that i am Asexual

They were disappointed that i wasn't A+s**....

What do you call an Asian with only one leg?

Tie won shoo

Why are Asians so good at Math?

Their dogs can't eat their homework.

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

Asian joke, Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

jokes about asian