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Asian Guy Jokes

96 asian guy jokes and hilarious asian guy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about asian guy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Asian Guy Short Jokes

Short asian guy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The asian guy humour may include short asian girl jokes also.

  1. I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you". I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.
  2. I just held the door open for an Asian guy. He said, "Sank you," so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.
  3. Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit? Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.
  4. An asian asks for help at an airport... Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."
    Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."
    Asian: "fluck you americans too."
  5. So the Asian guy from the Human centipede has a Twitter account... He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him.
  6. I held a door open for an Asian guy and he said "sank you" so i punched him in the face. Serves him right for bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.
    PS: Happy 4th of July
  7. Today, I saw a black guy wave to an Asian from across the street. It gives me hope for the future... Rush Hour 4!
  8. Asian guy goes to a eye doctor After the checkup the doctor says "The problem is you have a cataract" then the Asian guy responds with"No I have a tesra"
  9. What do you call an Asian guy in a lift. You shouldn't call him names.
    It's Wong on so many levels.
  10. To the guy with the friend who dates Asians.... Maybe he just needs some time to re-orient himself?

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Asian Guy One Liners

Which asian guy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with asian guy? I can suggest the ones about asian dad and asian people.

  1. What do you call an Asian guy with a video recorder? Phil Ming.
  2. As an East Asian guy, I constantly get asked what's my background It's Windows standard.
  3. How do you know if a guy has an asian wife? He'll tell you.
  4. What do you call an Asian guy that always shows up before he needs to? Earl Lee
  5. What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend? Disoriented.
  6. What's the name of the Asian guy with a camcorder? Phil Ming.
  7. There was that asian guy who fell down a bunch of stairs It was Wong on so many levels
  8. What's the name of the asian guy who always has enough money in his pocket? Exact Lee
  9. What do you call an Asian guy who is a member of ISIS? RICE-IS
  10. What do you call a gay Asian guy? A Caucasian
  11. What does Asian guy call the dog? HotDof
  12. What do you call an Asian guy who's always precise? Exact-Lee
  13. if I had a yen for every time I was racist I'd be as worthless as an Asian guy.
  14. I met a half asian half white guy today... He was aight.
  15. What's the scariest thing about an Asian guy in prison? His badge and gun

Comical Asian Guy Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about asian guy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean asian father jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make asian guy pranks.

One day a black white and Asian got arrested but the cop said if u can say green pink and yellow in a sentence, then u won't go to jail.
The black didn't know what to say so he went to jail.
The white said "well white guys are pink....." but the cop said wrong order so he went to jail.
So the Asian guy said "well the phone go Green green so i pink up the phone and say yellow"

A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "

Free, s**..., free, s**..., tonight."
The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.

What do you call a gay white guy in korea

c**...-asian

Asian guy goes into bank to check on his million dollars!!!

Asian: why do I only have 999 900 dollars instead of 1 million dollars
Bank teller: Fluctuations
Asian: Fluck you too.

What do you call a asian and a black guy??

A math problem.

My eyes are fine but I still failed my eye exams...

I guess I shouldn't have copied off the asian guy.

Did you hear about the one asian guy who failed calculus?

He was the odd Nguyen out.

My favorite joke that my grandfather would tell me

A contractor is about to build a house and he needs help. He hires a white guy to get the wood, a black guy to take care of the blueprints and permits, and an Asian guy to take of getting the supplies. At the end of the day they meet up, the white guy has all the wood, the black guy has gotten everything approved and the blue prints ready, but the Asian man is no where to be found. After searching the site they find a big pile of supplies. As the approach the pile they here a rustling. They get closer and closer until the Asian man jumps out and yells SUPPLIES!!!!!

What do you call a hairpiece on an Asian guy?

...an Oriental Rug.

I asked an Asian girl for her number

She said, "s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!"
I said, "Wow.."
Her friend said, "She meant 6663629".
Found this joke on Facebook, so I thought I'd share with you guys :)

JAKE'S FUNNEH JOKE

On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full e**...?

They break their nose!

Did you hear about the Asian guy who was so terrible that nobody mourned his death?

He was unbereaveable.

A priest, a nun, a rabbi, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a farmer, his daughter, a horse, a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy all walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this? A joke?"

What are some good Asian jokes you know?

I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.

White guy, asian guy and black guy...

A white guy and asian guy and a black guy are in a plane that crashes, and they all end up on a beach on a deserted island. They devise a plan to get prepared, knowing that it could be awhile until they are found. They decide the white guy is going to find food, the black guy is going to build the shelter, and the asian guy is going to find supplies. So the white guy goes off, finds berries and bananas, comes back to find the black guy is finishing off the shelter for them to stay in. They can't find the asian guy anywhere, so they start their search. After a couple minutes and a bit of distance away from the shelter they hear rumbling in the bushes. They take a step back, scared .... and all of the sudden, the asian guy jumps out of the bushes, and yells.... SUPPLIES.

Did you hear about that skinny asian guy that won poker?

A guy just told me "All asians are ninjas"

I wanted to tell him how racist that was, but he was black and i didn't want to get beat down

An Asian guy walks into

An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming the
door, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

What do you call a gay Asian guy?

Rice-a-Roni

I met a half asian half black guy today...

He was aight.

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Japanese man are hired at a construction site.

The foreman says to the Italian "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Asian "You're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while." Later when the foreman returns he sees Nothing's done. He says to the Italian "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" "I no gotta broom. You tella da guy he inna charge of a supplies, but he go an I could no finda him!" Then asks the Scot "Didn't I tell you to shovel?" "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. I canna find where the supplies man is aboot!" The foreman is really angry now and storms off looking for the Asian. Just then the Japanese guy springs out and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

I was holding a door open for an Asian Guy.

I was holding a door open for an Asian Guy.
Once he went though, He said, 'Sank you'.
I Swore at him and kicked him in the Shin.
I Then said, 'Never bring up Pearl Harbor like that'

Dinner with Girlfriends parents..

Ambitious boyfriend visits a chemist store to buy some condoms for the evening..
The store owner recommends him some new flavoured and textured codoms and the guy talks at length with him on the evolution of condoms and finally buys a pack of six..
Upon reaching his girlfriends place in the evening he is introduced to his GFs father.
He bows down before him as a mark of respect and is in that position for sometime
"I didnt know you believed in the asian custom of bowing" says his GF.
In a nervous murmur, he exclaims "I didnt know that your father was a chemist!"

What do you call an Asian man blowing another guy?

A Brojob.

I once knew a guy named Dapeng Nguyen.

He was the first Asian-Antarctican.

What did the Asian guy say about all the recent celebrity deaths?

They're dropping like Freys!

Did you hear about the guy who'd just broken up with his Asian girlfriend?

He felt a little disoriented.

What's the shakey Asian guy's name?

Park-yin Son

An Asian guy, Hispanic guy, white guy, black guy and their pilot are on a plane...

Suddenly the plane loses control and the pilot says, "If three people jump off, the rest can survive.
The Asian guy goes "This is for my people" and jumps off.
The Hispanic guy goes "This is for my people" and jumps off.
The black guy goes "This is for my people", and kicks the white guy off the plane.

What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt?

Con-grab-ur-asians!!

If a blonde and an Asian guy fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first?

The Asian guy because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

r**... give head so good

I even heard of this Asian guy whose eyes bulged out after.

Did you hear about the Asian guy eating uncooked food?

One could say he was...
Raw d**...' it

Did you know you can break your nose if you squint hard enough?

I did it on the bus today and some Asian guy punched me in the face!

I went to my favorite bar last night.

A Chinese guy sits down next to me. I ask him "hey, do you know karate or some other martial art"? He says "why, because I'm Asian"? I said "no, because you're drinking my beer".

Most people "release the hounds" by letting their dogs loose on someone, but Asians do it a bit differently.

They just throw up on the guy.

I played thru Super Mario World with an Asian guy.

It was Wong on so many levels.

The last time I saw an asian guy beat that badly.....

...it was by an indian girl at the Scripps National Spelling Bee

I think Google is drunk or something…

It keeps giving me news articles when I search for "Asian forced by three guys."

Flight back home

Guy was boarding a plane to go back home from a business trip.
As he was boarding another passenger asks him: "our flight looks full what do you think they will do??"
The Asian man flying back home says "beats me"

I think I might be racist

So I was out driving the other day and saw a white man running. I thought to myself "how great, this guy really has it together and is out working on his fitness."
Then later I saw a black man out running and I became a little nervous and put my head on a swivel. I couldn't help but think a crime had just been committed and surely the police were close behind.
Soon after that I saw an Asian man out for a run. So I instinctively turned and ran in the same direction exclaiming "RUN IT'S GODZILLA!"

How long does the average dog live after switching owners?

If the next guy's Asian not for long.

Did you know Tinder has different difficulties?

Here's how to unlock Tinder's different difficulties.
Easy mode: be a white girl
Intermediate mode: be a white guy

Hard mode: be anything else
God mode: be an Asian male

I met this Chinese guy who lives in Croatia

He's a Cro-Asian

Why are Asians hungry when they watch Family Guy?

Because they imagine Brian in a sandwich.

Bar joke

In a bar there was a black guy , an asian , a mexican , a native american and a regular guy

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.
a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.
a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.
the guy said to me in an annoyed voice " why one week $120, then $105, then $135! - why the difference?!!?"
I says to him "fluctuations"
He responds "fluck you white people"

an asian and caucasion guy are hitting on the same girl in a bar.

after a while asian guy is left with a job in his hand.

A black guy, a asian guy and a hispanic dude are all in a car, who is the driver?

>!The police officer !<

What do you call an asian guy who is talking on an active electric shock giving chair?

current lee speaking

I met a Chinese guy at a party and told him, Do I know you? Are you Chris Chen?

He said, No. I'm Eric. Do all Asian guys look the same to you?
Me: No, I meant do you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?

An Asian, an American, and a European walk into a bar.

They sit down at the table, and decide to hit up some drinks.
American: I'll have a Coke! I don't want to get drunk.
European: I'll have a watery r**...! I'll stay up for the drive.
Asian: I'll have 3 bottles beer, and a side of whiskey!
The American and the European are astonished!! The European asks the Asian why he ordered all of that alcohol.
Asian: Isn't it obvious? You guys won't let me drive anyway.

What do you say to someone who threw an Asian guy down the stairs?

That is Wong on so many levels.

What does a crab have in common with a Chinese guy who gets run over by a bus?

They're both crushed Asians.

A racist, a misandrist and a misanthropist kills Thanos

The racist, Tyrone, says: "I need it - so I can remove all the asian people. I really don't like them".

The misandrist, Evelyn, says: "No I need it more - so I can remove all men from existence!"

"Don't be silly! If you remove all the men, women will die out too!" Tyrone shouts out angrily.

While Tyrone and Evelyn argue. Jacob, the misanthropist takes the gauntlet and says: "Don't worry guys today is your lucky day, I got you both covered and then some!"

jokes about asian guy