The Best 34 Asian Eye Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Asian Eye jokes. There are some asian eye jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these asian eye puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Asian Eye Jokes and Puns

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man...

The Jewish man says

"Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"

The Asian man says

"Well at least I can see my grandparents."

I was at the supermarket, looked three freezers down and saw the most beautiful busty blonde picking out Asian dinners. I took a quick glance at her hand and saw no wedding ring! Well, as you can imagine, I promptly did what any virile, red-blooded man would do with this opportunity...

I got really nervous, said absolutely nothing, and strictly avoided eye-contact at all costs...

Three men walk into a store

The first is a black man, the second is a white man, and the third is an Asian man. They wander the aisles for a few minutes browsing, and quickly noticed the shop keepers keeping a careful eye on the black and Asian men. Later when they left they began complaining

"I can't believe they did!"

Said the black man

"I know! How terrible!"

Said the Asian man. Then the white man said

"Don't worry, I stole enough for all of us"

My Dad told me this one today

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor,
The doctor tells him "You have a cataract",
The man says "No, I drive a Rincoln."

My dad told this one to me today and just thought it was hilarious

Asian guy goes to a eye doctor

After the checkup the doctor says "The problem is you have a cataract" then the Asian guy responds with"No I have a tesra"

Why do asians have such squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty bright.

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor

The eye doctor says, "Sir, you have a cataract".

And the Asian man says, "No, I have a Rincoln Contirental".

What did the Asian man say to his wife when the hospital nursery tried to send them home with a blonde hair, blue-eye baby?

Hmmm... two Wongs don't make a white.

My Asian friend tried being white on his Oculus Rift

He said it was a very eye-opening experience

Asian eye problems

So a Chinese man is having trouble with one of his eyes and goes to see the optometrist. When the testing is over, the optometrist tells the man, "I'm sorry, you have a cataract" in which the Chinese man replies "No I dont! I have a rinkoln continental!"

You can explore asian eye reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean asian eye dad jokes. There are also asian eye puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My Asian eye doctor

Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my eyes, glaucoma test, etc. Finally, he sat back and said, "I know why you have trouble seeing while driving. You have a cataract."

"Bad guess, doc," I replied. "I have a Mercedes."

My eyes are fine but I still failed my eye exams...

I guess I shouldn't have copied off the asian guy.

The Asian man got bad news from his eye doctor

The doctor told him he had a cataract.
The Asian man replied, "No I dwive a Wincoln!"

What do you call an asian with no eyes?


I had surgery to change myself from Asian to Caucasian.

It was a real eye opening experience

Asian restaraunt

Waitress: what would you like?
Man: I would like a bowl of chili.
Waitress: But sir, this is a chinese restraunt.
Man : oh im so sorry. ( Squints eyes)
I would rike a bowl of chiri

An asian man goes to the eye doctor...

Doctor: "Sir you have cataracts."
Asian man: "No I drive a honda."

How to be an asian...

Just squint your eyes and say "We all how smaw deek" out loud.

What do you call an Asian wearing contacts?

Customization. GET IT?? CUSTOM EYES ASIAN!!!

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor and the doctor says "Sir, I'm sorry to say but you have a Cataract"...

The Asian man turns to the doctor and says "No, I have uh Rincoln Continentar"

I told my asian friend the earth was flat 3 times now

He still hasn't opened his eyes.

Asian people don't like it when others make fun of their eyes

They just can't see how funny it is.

What do you call an Asian with crusty eyes?

A crustacean.

I'll show myself out...

Turns out being a conspiracy theorist and having Asian friends don't go so well together.

You can only shout "OPEN YOUR EYES!" so many times before someone gets offended.

Cataract Surgery

An Asian man walks into the eye doctor for a check up, the doctor asks, "Do you have Cataracts?"

The Asian man replies, "No, me have Hondas."

You can't tell if an asian person is asleep or not

Because their eyes are closed all the time

What do you call aliens without eyes?


If Asians are so smart than why did they fail the math test

If you thought it had to do something about their eyes your racist it's because there can be less intelligent Asians we are all the same

How do you turn a Russian into an Asian?

Spray paint them yellow, put their eyes towards the sun, and punch them in the gut so they scream, NEE!

What do Asians use to cover their eyes?

Dental floss

No matter how good are you doing something

There's always an asian that can do it with eyes closed.

With love,
An auto-racist Asian

Rednecks give head so good

I even heard of this Asian guy whose eyes bulged out after.

Asian's pets

Asian's eyes don't water when their pets die, their mouths do.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the asian eye jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working asian eye piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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