Asia Jokes

Following is our collection of eurasian humor and prevalent one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Asia puns for adults, dirty europe jokes or clean usa gags for kids.

There is an abundance of cartographer jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 83 funniest jokes on asia. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any asian witze you can hear about asia.

The Best jokes about Asia

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

COVID 19 is like Pasta

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia.

Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.

Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.


Asian Keanu

Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

Asians are sooo bad at driving....

I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

how do you know asians have broken into your home?

the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway

What's the heaviest soup in Asia?

Wonton soup!


What do Asian cannibals eat?

Raw men

Why are Asians so good at Math?

Their dogs can't eat their homework.

I found out my date likes to dissect people from Southeast Asia.

I've since decided to cut Thais with her.

My Asian friend came out ..

My Asian friend came out to his dad today and said "Dad I'm gay" . His dad after being angry for a moment said, "why not Gay+"

An asian asks for help at an airport...

Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."

Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."

Asian: "fluck you americans too."

I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers...

But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

Why do asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.


Women are alot like continents.

At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

Where did the little Asian girl go when the little boy dropped by?

Everywhere.

An Asian woman brings her large Irish boyfriend to meet her traditional parents

Her mother says:

"You bring great Shamus to this family."

An Asian guy walks into

An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming the
door, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

So the Asian guy from the Human Centipede has a Twitter account...

He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him.

Why did the Asian pilot get arrested at the airport?

TSA thought he said he was going to "pirate" the plane.

What is Peter Pan known as in Asia?

Peter Wok

Why do Asians prefer Sony?

Because it's a stereo type

What do Asian pirates do?

They fry pranes!

Did you hear about that boxer who adopted a child from Asia?

It's Mike's Thai Son.

My friend said that China might be considering assisted suicide for teenagers

He's probably wrong, but if he's right, that would mark the beginning of euthanasia of youth in Asia.

If you take an Asian man and spin him around 3 times...

Does he become disoriented?

How do you get the Asian out of a China man?

Spin him around until he's disoriented.

It's not you, it's me...

- Asian family arguing about a family picture,

Two asians ran a race..

It was a Thai.

An Asian couple had an albino baby.

Just goes to show, 2 Wongs can make a white.

Did you know 50% of Asians in America have cataracts?

The other half drive Lincolns

An Asian, an American, and a European walk into a bar.

They sit down at the table, and decide to hit up some drinks.



American: I'll have a Coke! I don't want to get drunk.



European: I'll have a watery rum! I'll stay up for the drive.



Asian: I'll have 3 bottles beer, and a side of whiskey!




The American and the European are astonished!! The European asks the Asian why he ordered all of that alcohol.



Asian: Isn't it obvious? You guys won't let me drive anyway.

What do asians call people that fly planes?

Pirates

Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12...

....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu

For some reason the Pope didn't...

sponsor my program for terminally ill Chinese children. He said he didn't like the name - What's wrong with "Youth in Asia"???

How do you know if an Asian person has robbed your house?

When you come home, your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and they're still trying to back out of the driveway.

How often did the asian cow go to the gym?

Dairy

Why was the asian politician so upset to get caught with a prostitute?

Because he lost the erection!

An Asian kid ask him mom: "Mom, why do I have to score A in everything?"

Him mom replied: "Because we are Asian, not a Bsian or Csian, or Failsian."

How do you know if the camera you just bought was made in Asia?

If the shutter makes a "crick" noise.

Asian Drivers Are So Bad...

that I wouldn't be surprised if Pearl Harbor was an accident

What did the asian parents call their retarded son?

Sum ting wong

My mean Asian uncle died suddenly last night.

It was hard to bereave.

My Asian friend had a blood test

His parents nearly disowned him when he got B+

What happens to Asians when they become American citizens?

They get very disoriented.

Asian guy goes to a eye doctor

After the checkup the doctor says "The problem is you have a cataract" then the Asian guy responds with"No I have a tesra"

which Asian country do neckbeards love the most

M'laysia

Why do Asian parents want their children to have high grades?

Because they're​ Asian, not Bsian nor Csian.

Did you know 60% of all Asian men have Cataracks?

The other 40% drive Mitsubishis.

what happens when...

an asian has an erection and walks into a wall...?

he breaks his nose

What does an Asian call their pet lion?

Ryan

Why do asians have such squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty bright.

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor

The eye doctor says, "Sir, you have a cataract".

And the Asian man says, "No, I have a Rincoln Contirental".

My Asian friend tried being white on his Oculus Rift

He said it was a very eye-opening experience

Did you hear about that Air Asia flight?

Air traffic control didn't.

What did the Asian man say to his wife when the hospital nursery tried to send them home with a blonde hair, blue-eye baby?

Hmmm... two Wongs don't make a white.

Why do asians squint all the time?

Because nukes are so bright

What's Asian on top and black on bottom?

IQ distribution graph

Who performs the most assisted suicides.

Youth in Asia.

Why do Americans in Asia hate when they get dumped?

They see their ex everywhere

How does an Asian Cowboy say Hello?

"Ni-Hao-dy"

An Asian driver is being interrogated after an accident

Detective: So, how did you end up killing 49 people?

Jackie: I was driving over 90km/h when I saw 2 men crossing the road. And on the other side, there was a wedding taking place. I hit the brakes but they failed, so I had to make a choice:
Either I hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.

Detective: Hit the 2 men of course.

Chan: Exactly! We think alike. But after hitting one, the other man escaped into the wedding party, so I went after him.

I wasn't really into asian bondage

But my hands are thai'd on this one

My Asian dad wasn't very happy when I told him I was gay.

Especially the part when I said I liked D's.



Partial credit to /u/tosil

How does an Asian noodle say goodbye

Chow main

What happens to a person when they move out of Asia?

They become dis-oriented!

Why do you never see any Asian soccer players?

Because when they get a corner they build a shop.

As an Asian male, I'm offended by the stereotype that we're bad drivers and have small penises.

I am an excellent driver.

Asian guy goes into bank to check on his million dollars!!!

Asian: why do I only have 999 900 dollars instead of 1 million dollars

Bank teller: Fluctuations

Asian: Fluck you too.

Having an Asian wife is like having a mustache...

Everyone assumes that you molest children.

Asian eye problems

So a Chinese man is having trouble with one of his eyes and goes to see the optometrist. When the testing is over, the optometrist tells the man, "I'm sorry, you have a cataract" in which the Chinese man replies "No I dont! I have a rinkoln continental!"

A friend of mine is really set on becoming the first emperor of Asia, He's pursuing a PhD in English Literature...

When I asked him why chose English Literature he said he wanted to be "a great reader".

Why didn't the Asian man get a high five?

Because Logan Paul left him hanging

What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full erection?

They break their nose!

An Asian person robbed my house.

1. My homework is done.

2. My computer is upgraded to its maximum potential.

3. There's a person trying to back out of the driveway.

Why are Asian women so excited about Tuesday?

It's Erection Day.

An Asian lady walks into a bank

She is trying to exchange yen for sterling.

She rants at the cashier " yesterday I get 200 pounds for 1 yen, today I only get 180, why is this? ".

The cashier replies " fluctuations ",

the lady replies " fluck you white people too".

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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