The Best 86 Asia Jokes

Following is our collection of Asia jokes which are very funny. There are some asia prevalent jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these asia usa puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Asia Jokes and Puns

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

Asian guy goes into bank to check on his million dollars!!!

Asian: why do I only have 999 900 dollars instead of 1 million dollars

Bank teller: Fluctuations

Asian: Fluck you too.

what happens when...

an asian has an erection and walks into a wall...?

he breaks his nose

Why do asians have such squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty bright.

Why do asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.


It's not you, it's me...

- Asian family arguing about a family picture,

What did the asian parents call their retarded son?

Sum ting wong

how do you know asians have broken into your home?

the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway

Asian eye problems

So a Chinese man is having trouble with one of his eyes and goes to see the optometrist. When the testing is over, the optometrist tells the man, "I'm sorry, you have a cataract" in which the Chinese man replies "No I dont! I have a rinkoln continental!"

An Asian woman brings her large Irish boyfriend to meet her traditional parents

Her mother says:

"You bring great Shamus to this family."

Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12...

....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu

You can explore asia eurasian reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean asia europe dad jokes. There are also asia puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why was the asian politician so upset to get caught with a prostitute?

Because he lost the erection!

What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

How often did the asian cow go to the gym?

Dairy

Asian Keanu

Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

For some reason the Pope didn't...

sponsor my program for terminally ill Chinese children. He said he didn't like the name - What's wrong with "Youth in Asia"???

What's the heaviest soup in Asia?

Wonton soup!

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

Did you know 60% of all Asian men have Cataracks?

The other 40% drive Mitsubishis.


Who performs the most assisted suicides.

Youth in Asia.

My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia.

Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.

Did you hear about that Air Asia flight?

Air traffic control didn't.

My Asian dad wasn't very happy when I told him I was gay.

Especially the part when I said I liked D's.

Partial credit to /u/tosil

So the Asian guy from the Human Centipede has a Twitter account...

He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him.

What do Asian pirates do?

They fry pranes!

A friend of mine is really set on becoming the first emperor of Asia, He's pursuing a PhD in English Literature...

When I asked him why chose English Literature he said he wanted to be "a great reader".

Women are alot like continents.

At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.

Did you know 50% of Asians in America have cataracts?

The other half drive Lincolns

An Asian guy walks into

An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming the
door, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

What do asians call people that fly planes?

Pirates

Asian Drivers Are So Bad...

that I wouldn't be surprised if Pearl Harbor was an accident

Did you hear about that boxer who adopted a child from Asia?

It's Mike's Thai Son.

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor

The eye doctor says, "Sir, you have a cataract".

And the Asian man says, "No, I have a Rincoln Contirental".

I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers...

But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Why do Americans in Asia hate when they get dumped?

They see their ex everywhere

Where did the little Asian girl go when the little boy dropped by?

Everywhere.

What happens to a person when they move out of Asia?

They become dis-oriented!

If you take an Asian man and spin him around 3 times...

Does he become disoriented?

I wasn't really into asian bondage

But my hands are thai'd on this one

How does an Asian Cowboy say Hello?

"Ni-Hao-dy"

Why do asians squint all the time?

Because nukes are so bright

My Asian friend tried being white on his Oculus Rift

He said it was a very eye-opening experience

Why do Asians prefer Sony?

Because it's a stereo type

How do you know if an Asian person has robbed your house?

When you come home, your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and they're still trying to back out of the driveway.

An Asian kid ask him mom: "Mom, why do I have to score A in everything?"

Him mom replied: "Because we are Asian, not a Bsian or Csian, or Failsian."

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How do you know if the camera you just bought was made in Asia?

If the shutter makes a "crick" noise.

My Asian friend came out ..

My Asian friend came out to his dad today and said "Dad I'm gay" . His dad after being angry for a moment said, "why not Gay+"

What's Asian on top and black on bottom?

IQ distribution graph

With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

An asian asks for help at an airport...

Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."

Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."

Asian: "fluck you americans too."

I found out my date likes to dissect people from Southeast Asia.

I've since decided to cut Thais with her.

As an Asian male, I'm offended by the stereotype that we're bad drivers and have small penises.

I am an excellent driver.

My friend said that China might be considering assisted suicide for teenagers

He's probably wrong, but if he's right, that would mark the beginning of euthanasia of youth in Asia.

Why did the Asian pilot get arrested at the airport?

TSA thought he said he was going to "pirate" the plane.

Why do Asian parents want their children to have high grades?

Because they're​ Asian, not Bsian nor Csian.

Asians are sooo bad at driving....

I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

What does an Asian call their pet lion?

Ryan

Two asians ran a race..

It was a Thai.

Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Why do you never see any Asian soccer players?

Because when they get a corner they build a shop.

How do you get the Asian out of a China man?

Spin him around until he's disoriented.

An Asian couple had an albino baby.

Just goes to show, 2 Wongs can make a white.

What did the Asian man say to his wife when the hospital nursery tried to send them home with a blonde hair, blue-eye baby?

Hmmm... two Wongs don't make a white.

How does an Asian noodle say goodbye

Chow main

What happens to Asians when they become American citizens?

They get very disoriented.

Having an Asian wife is like having a mustache...

Everyone assumes that you molest children.

Why are Asians so good at Math?

Their dogs can't eat their homework.

My Asian friend had a blood test

His parents nearly disowned him when he got B+

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

My mean Asian uncle died suddenly last night.

It was hard to bereave.

COVID 19 is like Pasta

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

Asian guy goes to a eye doctor

After the checkup the doctor says "The problem is you have a cataract" then the Asian guy responds with"No I have a tesra"

What is Peter Pan known as in Asia?

Peter Wok

An Asian, an American, and a European walk into a bar.

They sit down at the table, and decide to hit up some drinks.

American: I'll have a Coke! I don't want to get drunk.

European: I'll have a watery rum! I'll stay up for the drive.

Asian: I'll have 3 bottles beer, and a side of whiskey!

The American and the European are astonished!! The European asks the Asian why he ordered all of that alcohol.

Asian: Isn't it obvious? You guys won't let me drive anyway.

What do Asian cannibals eat?

Raw men

which Asian country do neckbeards love the most

M'laysia

I have an Asian friend who never says anything untrue.

Literal Lee.

What is an Asian Canadian's preferred soup?

Miso Sorry

What does an Asian man say on a cloudy day?

Sun, I am disappoint.

An Asian student's mom was reading the test result

"Why do you only get a B- ?! You bring shame to our family"

"But mom, it is a blood test"

An Asian man goes on a trip to America

He goes to an American Bank to converts his money to dollars, while going through his trip he meets a generous old friend who decides to let him stay in his place and also pay for his expenses during his stay.

After a few days he decides to return back to his country and heads to the bank to convert his money back. But the asian man sees that he received less money than he previously had even though he hadn't spent anything, so he asks about this to the banker.
The banker said," fluctuations ".

The asian man replied," fluck you americans too".

Where do Asian neckbeards come from?

M'laysia

What do you call an Italian drug dealer in Asia?

Narco Polo

An Asian walks into a currency exchange and get $100 back for his exchange

Next day he goes there again and for the same amount of money he receives $94 this time.

He asks the teller "why $6 less today compared to yesterday"

The teller say "fluctuations"

The Asian man get up angrily and storms out slamming the door, turns around and shouts "fluc you Americans too!"

I came out to my Asian parents as a trans woman and told them I have a boyfriend named Shane.

I think they are taking it pretty well. They said they did't have a son and I would bring Shane to the family.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the asia cartographer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working asia asian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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