Ashtray Jokes
39 ashtray jokes and hilarious ashtray puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ashtray that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ashtray Short Jokes
Short ashtray jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ashtray humour may include short garbage can jokes also.
- Scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. It's probably better to just use an ashtray.
- I was reading the other day about the damage that cigarettes can do to children. The first thought that hit me was "What ever happened to using ashtrays?".
- Ashtrays should be called Asstrays... because its where you put your butts.
(I have been calling them asstrays all 28 years of my life. I only JUST today realized it.) - Avengers related joke with spoilers How many avengers can you fit in an ashtray?
[Hover over text to see answer.](/s "About half") - How do you fit 5 comedians into a VW Beetle? 2 in front, 2 in back & Richard Pryor in the ashtray.
- British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough, use an ashtray.
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Ashtray One Liners
Which ashtray one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ashtray? I can suggest the ones about garbage bin and empty glass.
- No ashtrays in the hotel room Looks like smokings out the window
- You know why elephants don't smoke? they can't get their butts in the ashtray
- I just scattered my Grandfather's ashes... I wish he would empty his ashtray himself.
- Be careful stubbing your cigarette out on small metal dishes You may be lead ashtray
- Why did russian oligarch buy new Cadillac 1 week after buying 1 already Full Ashtray
- How do you get Spiderman into a Volkswagen? Use the ashtray.
- Why did the jew collect ashtrays? So he could be closer to his family
- How do you put 50 yews in a car? 1 in front, 2 at back seat, and 47 in ashtray
- What was the jew doing in the ashtray? Family research.
- Where can I fit 40 jews in my car The ashtray.
- 69 is known as s**...'s position...... Girl smoke the cigar and guy cleans the ashtray.
- How do you fit 1000 jews in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, the rest in the ashtray
- How do you get 54 Jews in a car? 2 in the front 3 in the back and 49 in the ashtray.
- h**... walks by a Jew cleaning an ashtray... He says, "Looking for someone?"
- What's the best way to fit 30 Jews in a 5 passenger car? 30 in the ashtray
Delightful Fun Ashtray Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about ashtray you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean broken glass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ashtray pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I kissed a girl in the club and she said, "Oh my God, you've been smoking. It's just like l**... an ashtray."
"You non-smokers have some funny habits," I replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Multijokes: How many Jews can you fit in a family car.
Standard Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and six-million in the ashtray.
Follow-Up Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and none anywhere else because the Holocaust never happened.
Alternate Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and a family of eight hiding under the roof-rack.
Efficient Answ**e**r: Not enough, we'll need to use trains.
Anti-Joke Answ**e**r: Please tell me, myself and some Jewish friends are going to Florida but ~~cannot afford~~ are too-cheap for plane tickets.
Racist Answ**e**r: Throw a dollar in there and they'll all get in.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say kissing a s**... is like l**... an ashtray.
I'll remember that the next time I get lonely.
An insurance agent was talking to a prospective client at her home.
When she noticed a beautiful vase. She asked her client, "do you keep anything in it?"
"My husband's ashes", the client replied.
"I am so sorry", apologized the agent, "I did not know he was deceased."
"He isn't - he's just too lazy to hunt for an ashtray."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does the ashtray tell the truth everytime someone uses it to put out a cigar?
It likes big butts and it cannot lie
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little jewish girl was playing with an ashtray...
h**... comes in and says: "Are you looking for someone?"
A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "come in! We have a magic ashtray that will grant one wish if you buy a pint"
He walks in to a swanky piano lounge which, interestingly, had a dwarf playing the piano.
He buys a pint and the bartender tells him to hold the ashtray and make his wish.
He squints and makes his wish. Suddenly a million ducks start swarming out from behind the bar and begin to cause total chaos.
The man yells to the bartender over the noise "I wished for a million BUCKS not DUCKS!!!"
The bartender yelled back "do you think I wished for a 3 foot pianist!?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo momma's house so dirty
When she smokes a cigarette, she turns it around to put it in the ashtray.
