Ashtray Jokes

Following is our collection of volkswagen humor and ash one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Ashtray puns for adults, dirty jews jokes or clean toblerone gags for kids.

There is an abundance of trashcan jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 24 funniest jokes on ashtray. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ashy witze you can hear about ashtray.

The Best jokes about Ashtray

I kissed a girl in the club and she said, "Oh my God, you've been smoking. It's just like licking an ashtray."

"You non-smokers have some funny habits," I replied.

Multijokes: How many Jews can you fit in a family car.

Standard Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and six-million in the ashtray.

Follow-Up Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and none anywhere else because the Holocaust never happened.

Alternate Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and a family of eight hiding under the roof-rack.

Efficient Answ**e**r: Not enough, we'll need to use trains.

Anti-Joke Answ**e**r: Please tell me, myself and some Jewish friends are going to Florida but ~~cannot afford~~ are too-cheap for plane tickets.

Racist Answ**e**r: Throw a dollar in there and they'll all get in.

A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "come in! We have a magic ashtray that will grant one wish if you buy a pint"

He walks in to a swanky piano lounge which, interestingly, had a dwarf playing the piano.

He buys a pint and the bartender tells him to hold the ashtray and make his wish.

He squints and makes his wish. Suddenly a million ducks start swarming out from behind the bar and begin to cause total chaos.

The man yells to the bartender over the noise "I wished for a million BUCKS not DUCKS!!!"

The bartender yelled back "do you think I wished for a 3 foot pianist!?!"

Scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children.

It's probably better to just use an ashtray.

KGB Joke, from old country

This was definitely a response to that thread about the passport staples

----------

Four men are staying in a hotel room. Three have opened a bottle of vodka and are getting pretty rowdy, while the fourth is trying to get some sleep. He leaves the room and asks the concierge for some tea for room 60, where they are staying. He returns to the room, leans into an ashtray and says "Comrade Major, more tea for room 60". A short while later, there is a knock at the door and tea is delivered. The other three men are visibly spooked and quiet down. The fourth man goes to sleep.

The next morning, the other three men are gone. He goes downstairs and asks the concierge where they went, He says "You don't need to know". The man asks, "But why was I left alone?". The concierge replies, "Comrade Major really liked that tea joke"


No ashtrays in the hotel room

Looks like smokings out the window

An insurance agent was talking to a prospective client at her home.

When she noticed a beautiful vase. She asked her client, "do you keep anything in it?"

"My husband's ashes", the client replied.

"I am so sorry", apologized the agent, "I did not know he was deceased."

"He isn't - he's just too lazy to hunt for an ashtray."

A little jewish girl was playing with an ashtray...

Hitler comes in and says: "Are you looking for someone?"

You know why elephants don't smoke?

they can't get their butts in the ashtray

I just scattered my Grandfather's ashes...

I wish he would empty his ashtray himself.

How many superhero's can you fit in a sedan?

2 in the front, 2 in the back, and about 10 in the ashtray.


Ashtrays should be called Asstrays...

because its where you put your butts.

(I have been calling them asstrays all 28 years of my life. I only JUST today realized it.)

How many Jews can you fit in a car?

Two in the front ,two in the back, one in the boot and fifty in the ashtray.

Be careful stubbing your cigarette out on small metal dishes

You may be lead ashtray

Why did russian oligarch buy new Cadillac 1 week after buying 1 already

Full Ashtray

69 is known as smoker's position......

Girl smoke the cigar and guy cleans the ashtray.

How many Jews can you fit in a car?

One hundred. Five and the rest in the ashtray.

(An Austrian friend told me this joke.)

How do you get Spiderman into a Volkswagen?

Use the ashtray.

[NSFW] Got fired from a local mart for re-labelling few items.

Labelling AshTray as JewTray was a wrong idea.


How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen bug?

Two in the front, two in the back, & about 10 million in the ashtray.

How do you fit 5 comedians into a VW Beetle?

2 in front, 2 in back & Richard Pryor in the ashtray.

How many Jews can you fit into a Opel Olympia?

100, just put them in the ashtray.

How many jews can you fit in a car?

All of them, one in each seat and the rest in the ashtray

How do you fit 100 Jews onto a bus?

2 in every seat and 50 in the ashtray.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes