Ashore Jokes
19 ashore jokes and hilarious ashore puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ashore that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ashore Short Jokes
Short ashore jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ashore humour may include short washed shore jokes also.
- "Captain, have you ever made love at sea?" "No son, but I've been blown ashore many a time."
- Hey billy jokes? Need some more Billy & Highliner Jokes.
One is "Hey billy you ever been to sea"
"No Captain Highliner but I have been blown ashore" - Why do you have to remove your deck shoes when you go ashore in Germany? Because they are for boatin'
- Why did the sailor grab a piece of soap when he was sinking? So he could wash himself ashore.
- A ship hauling maple syrup ran ashore, The captain was quoted as saying, "It's a sticky situation."
- A s**... whale has died after washing ashore at my local beach. It was just a regular whale before I arrived at the scene though.
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Ashore One Liners
Which ashore one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ashore? I can suggest the ones about beach and seashells.
- Why did the pirate go ashore? For a little R & R, matey.
- What is tiny and gets washed ashore? A micro wave
- What options does an abortionist have to get ashore? Row vs. Wade
- 35,000 walruses came ashore on an Alaskan beach.... or are those Dr. Phils?
Hilarious Ashore Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about ashore you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean coast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ashore pranks.
A whale and a wave make a bet. (Just made this up.)
The whale says to the wave, "I bet I could beat in a race to land." The wave agrees, so the whale takes off. He swims so fast, he drives himself ashore. The wave following behind him says " Hah! Beached ya!"
A geologist, physicist and an economist are marooned on a desert island with nothing to eat.
A can of soup washes ashore. They ponder how to open it. The geologist says, 'Let's smash it open with a rock.' The physicist says, 'Let's heat it up and blow it open.' The economist says, 'No, no. You guys will lose most of the soup. Let's just assume we have a can opener.'
A ship, sailing past a remote island, spots a man who has been stranded there for several years.
The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices three huts.
What's the first hut for? he asks.
That's my house, says the castaway.
What's the second hut for?
That's my church.
And the third hut?
Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. That's the church I used to go to.
A Man gets shipwrecked
He washes up ashore on an Australian beach. Unconscious, he's taken to a hospital, and wakes up the next day. Upon waking up, he notices how filthy the hospital is. The conditions are really terrible.
A nurse comes to check on him. "This hospital is terrible! You brought Me Here To *Die*?" He exclaims angrily!
"Oh No! We actually brought you here Yester*die*!" The Nurse Replies
"
Military joke: the enemy is storming the front en masse.
Army general turns to his soldiers, "boys, go get em!"
They all go out running at the enemy and they all die.
Navy Admiral turns to his s**..., "boys, storm those beaches!"
They all rush ashore and every last one of them are killed.
Marine General turn to his men all c**..., "You know what to do. Kill!"
The marines all charge towards the enemy and end up over run and dead.
Air Force General looks at his men, "Fellas, it's time for an attack."
The airmen go into their barracks and wake up the officers to get ready for wheels up in 5.
A Engineer, a Chemist and an Economist get stranded on a island.
From the ship that crashed, some canned food washed ashore.
The Engineer says We need to open the cans with these rocks
The Chemist says We could blow the top off using a combination of these minerals I've found
The Economist says Ok, so let's assume we have a can opener
Middle hut
A man was stranded on a desert island for 20 years when a navy ship finally spots him. The captain comes ashore and notices three huts. What are they used for? the captain asks.
Well, the hut one on the left is where I live, says the man. and the one on the right is where I go to church.
So what about that hut in the middle?
The man sneers, That's the church I used to attend!
The stranded man
A ship, sailing past a remote island, spots a man who has been stranded there for several years. The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices three huts.
What's the first hut for? he asks.
That's my house, says the castaway.
What's the second hut for?
That's my church.
And the third hut?
Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. That's the church I used to go to
A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on an island with nothing to eat
A can of soup washes ashore.
The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock.
The chemist says, "Let's build a fire and heat the can first.
The economist says, "Let's assume that we have a can opener." (Paul Samuelson)
