Following is our collection of Ashamed jokes which are very funny. There are some ashamed embarrassingly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ashamed dishonor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Since she can't even beat an egg
After the first week, the woman gets so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself.
After the second week, the men get so ashamed of what they're doing, they bury the woman.
After the third week, the men get so ashamed of what they're doing, they dig her back up.
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters
~~'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'~~ 'C Z W I K S N O S T A C Z'
'Can you read this?' the optician asked.
'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
A student to his father:
Dear father,
Berlin is a fantastic city, people are nice and I really like that city. But, I am a bit ashamed to come to school with my golden plated Ferrari whereas professors and other students come by train.
Love,
Your son
Next day, an answer comes:
My dear son,
I transferred 20M€ to your bank account. Please buy your train quickly.
Your loving father.
Yo mama such a ho that her privates are called publics.
i'm ashamed of this. but also really proud.
A father, mother and a small kid go to see a circus. There, among many animals the kid sees the elephant and its long thing hanging between his legs. The kid asks dad "What's that". Ashamed to answer, father says "Ask mother".
The kid asks mom, and she too is ashamed and says, "Oh, that's nothing". The kid goes back to father, and father asks, "What did mom say". Kid says she told "That's nothing".
Father replies sighing, "Yeah for your mother even that's nothing".
I am a flag.
After a week, the girl was so ashamed with what she had been doing to the guys, she killed herself. A week later, the guys felt so ashamed with what they had been doing to her, they buried her. After another week, the guys felt so ashamed with what they had been doing to each other, they dug her back up.
A young Saudi prince studying abroad receives a call from his father asking him if everything is alright.
He tells his dad that he is feeling ashamed that everyday he goes to college in his brand new Lamborghini while all the other students take the train.
His father replies: "I understand your shame son, take this 2 billion dollars and buy yourself a train".
After a few weeks the girl is so ashamed of the things that the three of them are doing that she kills herself. After a few more days the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing they decided to bury her. After another few days the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing they eventually dig her back up.
The HI-C!
(punchline must be said in proper pirate voice)
(this is what I do when bored at work not even ashamed)
You can explore ashamed shamefully reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ashamed classmates dad jokes. There are also ashamed puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
So the preview for some time traveling movie comes on tv and my dad goes "if you ever find a time machine remember not to use it," somehow thinking it's funny.
I'm ashamed to say the first thing out of my mouth was "seems like a great way to pass the time."
And yet I still can't fold fitted sheets.
Saw my friend come into work one morning looking hung over
Me: Had a rough time last night?
Friend: Yeah, I got so drunk I blew chunks!
Me: We've all thrown up after drinking, nothing to be ashamed of.
Friend: Chunks is my dog!
#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.
*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*
*
Totally fine to do in the privacy of your own home, but you should be ashamed to be caught in public.
At work, my coworker complained of ear pain. He asked me to look for a bump, so I looked.
Then, I said, "oh I know what's causing the pain!" He asked what it was, and I pulled a quarter from his ear..
I should be ashamed.
She's never going to play monopoly with me again!
Employee: Don't worry, I am equally ashamed of it
For me going to the gym is a lot like having sex. I'm get nervous before, it doesn't last as long as I want it to, I'm ashamed the whole time, and I usually cry afterwards.
At first you're pumped and excited on the idea then you leave feeling dirty and ashamed.
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, Why are you arguing?
One boy answers, We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.
You should be ashamed of yourselves, said the teacher, When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was.
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
He walks up to a teller and says quietly "I have 2 million dollars in cash that I need to deposit into a swiss bank account now"
The teller replies "Sir, there's no need to whisper, poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."
It's not a shortcoming.
I wasn't ashamed, I was startled - I almost dropped their wedding picture.
The teller asks the foreigner: "Would you like to make a deposit?"
The foreign man replies: "Yes I would."
The teller: "How much would you like to deposit?"
The man leans in and whispers: "Three million dollars..."
The teller: "Oh you can speak up. Being poor is no reason to be ashamed in Switzerland."
Seriously, Slim Jims are terrible.
I asked him to sleep on it
That's total bollocks I replied, by text, from across the road.
You should be ashamed of yours.
After one week the girl is so ashamed of what she is doing that she kills herself.
After another week the guys are so ashamed of what they are doing that...they bury her.
Another week goes by and the guys are so ashamed of what they've been doing...so they dig her back up.
When you've reached the end you feel sick, ashamed, and you just want to die.
Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.
I know, I know... even I'm ashamed of myself for posting this!
Two men and a women are stranded on an island. After a week, the woman is so ashamed of what they were doing, she killed herself...
After another week, the two men are so ashamed of what they are doing, so they bury her.
After another week, they are so ashamed of what they are doing, they dig her up again.
A: Bubblegum -- and you should be ashamed of yourself.
a tiny part of me says yes.
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Odd. Throughout his childhood he was picked on and bullied ruthlessly because of his name. He was so ashamed of that when he died, he decided to leave his gravestone blank.
Now, years later, whenever they pass his grave they would say, "That's odd."
I can't tell if they are a Christian or if they are coming out of the closet.
I replied, "You should be ashamed of yourself! The young people in Asia deserve as much support as the young people on any other continent."
Around Twelvish
I'm ashamed to say that this is OC
He is ashamed.
Doctor says, Why didn't you come sooner?
The tumor says, To be honest, I was ashamed to leave the house.
and the kid is embarrassed and ashamed. The father, noticing this, says" Son, masturbation is only a problem if you let it get out of hand."
As they run, the first guy covers his genitals and the second covers his face. The first guy asks the second, "Are you not ashamed of your indecency?"
The second guy responds, "Yeah... But, I don't know about you, but more people recognize me by my face than by my genitals"
After two weeks on the island the woman is so ashamed of what they have been doing that she kills herself. Two weeks after she kills herself the men are so ashamed of what they have been doing that they decide to bury her. Two weeks after they bury her the two men are so ashamed at what they have been doing that they dig her up again.
You feel ashamed after waking up.
'Cause I could stare at you all day...
(I am ashamed to admit that intentionally bad pickup lines are my specialty.)
The bus driver turns to her and says Oi! That there's the ugliest baby I've ever seen, you should be ashamed of yourself, bringing a baby like that out in public. It's disgusting! She rushes to the back of the bus in tears, and a gentleman leans over to her and asks Lassie, why're you crying?
She says Well that bus driver up there just said the most horrible thing to me that anyone's ever said before.
In shock the gentleman exclaims Well you can't just let him get away with that! You've got to get up there and give him a piece of your mind! Here, I'll hold your monkey.
The people too ashamed to comment, and the people too busy to comment.
Even Monet made a bad first Impression.
He feels his presents
(This is my only Christmas joke and I am deeply ashamed of that)
And I am not ashamed of my fettishini
Unless your fetish is being humiliated, then you should feel ashamed you nasty little pervert.
Unless your fetish is humiliation. Then you *should* be ashamed, you dirty little pervert.
Cheap, fast, and something I'd be ashamed to let my friends find out I'd eaten.
Or does it take longer if you're a boy?
Son: He threw a rock at me. So I threw one at him.
Mother: When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to see me.
Son: What good would that have done? I know that my aim is much better than yours.
Trump, Merkel and Putin are flying over the north sea with a helicopter. After a while Putin says "we have submarines that can stay under water for one week without refueling". Then trump says "That's nothing, our submarines can stay under water for a whole month without refueling!". Merkel can't think of anything and looks ashamed out the window. Suddenly a submarine surfaces in front of their eyes, a man steps out of it and raises his right arm and screams "HEIL HITLER WIR BRAUCHEN DIESEL!"
President Macron, Theresa May and Angela Merkel meet for a summit at the North Sea.
Gazing over the water, May says, "We have a submarine that can stay underwater for 10 days." Macron responds, "That's nothing, our submarines can stay underwater for 30 days!" Merkel looks quite ashamed and shies away, when suddenly a U-Boot surfaces, the hatch opens and the commander looks out: "Heil Hitler, we need Diesel!"
That's your parents' job.
"I'm ashamed of my shelf.
Because it came after 7 8 9.
He's too transparent
The guy's been through thick and thin.
At Least your skeleton is white.
It didn't work; he's still teasing me for it.
She was ashamed of her dirty habit.
All those people I bit at the mall ought to be ashamed of themselves.
He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"
"Son" they said, "birds do it, bees do it, so it's completely fine and natural for you to do it too. It's nothing to be ashamed of"
They were of course referring to my unfortunate habit of running face-first into windows.
That's your parent's job!
His name.
And you should probably be ashamed of yourself.
I asked him, "aren't you disappointed and ashamed you aren't in the more prestigious Rock & ***Roll*** hall of fame?"
He said "Woah, we're halfway there".
Oh my god. Who's bra is this
NOTE: It's a dad joke but I didn't know how to make a #DadJoke label. So consider yourself warned.
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
He said i shouldn't be ashamed to call him dad.
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
**The teacher says**, "Why are you arguing?"
**One boy answers**, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," **said the teacher,** "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
**The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher**.
I accept defeat
I'm so bloody ashamed I can't look at myself in the mirror.
*An Arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*
My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
Unless it's to be humiliated! Then you should be ashamed about it you nasty little bitch...
I told him not to be so hard on himself.
So the priest says, "tell me, have you ever tasted pork?"
The rabbi, slightly ashamed, admits: "Yes, once when I was young..."
After a thoughtful pause, the rabbi asks the priest, "tell me, have you ever made love to a woman?"
Sheepishly, the priest admits: "Yes, once when I was young."
The rabbi nods and says: "It was better than pork, wasn't it?"
A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic: hair and makeup done by a professional, Gucci heels, Versace dress and Prada purse.
"I've been stung by a nasty insect of some kind," she tells the doctor, "...but I'm ashamed to tell you where."
"It's okay," says the doctor. "Our communication is privileged; I won't tell anyone."
"Okay," says the woman. "It was at Walmart."
One boy answers, We found a ten-dollar bill and decided whoever tells the biggest lie gets to keep it.
You two should be ashamed of yourselves, said the teacher. When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was. The boys looked at each other and handed the ten dollars to the teacher.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ashamed felt jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working ashamed peepee piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.