Ash Jokes
147 ash jokes and hilarious ash puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ash that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our roundup of the funniest volcanic ash, Ash Wednesday, Ash Ketchum, ash tree, smoke, and Misty jokes! From puns to one-liners to cinder jokes, these funny quips will bring a smile to your face.
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Funniest Ash Short Jokes
Short ash jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ash humour may include short cinder jokes also.
- Did you hear that auschwitz had to ask visitors to stop playing Pokemon Go? They got tired of people pretending to be Ash.
- I just heard that my grandma has finally stopped smoking..... We can collect her ashes tomorrow.
- My favorite pokemon joke What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff? Pikachu, that's all he can say.
- Right now, my wife has a smoking hot bod... The ash scattering ceremony starts at 2:00 PM.
- How many superheroes can you fit in one car? Five
Two in the front
Two in the back
And Peter Parker in the ash tray - The Best Sean Connery Joke In EXISTENCE! (Read in Mr. Connery's voice)
Ash I wash walking through my houshe, a book fell on me.
I had only myshelf to blame. - Before he died, my grandfather's last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond. That's a lot of pressure.
- How to catch an elephant Dig a big hole
Fill it with ashes
Sprinkle peas on top
When the elephant goes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole. - Did you hear about the guy who lit his pants on fire? He made an ash of himself!
^^how ^^ember ^^assing... - My family keeps telling me that when I die I should have my ashes made into a diamond There's a lot of pressure
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Ash One Liners
Which ash one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ash? I can suggest the ones about ash ketchum and dud.
- This might be offensive, but what do you call a jewish pokémon trainer? Ash.
- I've lost all my pokemon cards in a house fire... I've only got Ash now.
- What do you call a Jewish pokemon trainer? Ash
- Thinking of having my ashes stored in a glass urn. Remains to be seen.
- itsnate joke tiktok What's jewish favorite Pokemon character ?
Ash ! - Which character of Pokemon is a jew? Ash
- I lost all my pokémon cards in a housefire.. All I have now is Ash.
- I lost my favorite ash tray. Child Protective Services took him.
- Who's the most famous jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash
- I like mountains. But volcanoes are ash holes.
- Hagrid spreading Dumbledore's ashes into the winds. "You're a blizzard Albus."
- What did 1 volcano say to another volcano? That ash.
- What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down? He fell on his ash.
- A woman was accused of snorting a family members ashes. She snorted half a gran.
- Why was Ash Ketchum peering through your living room curtains? To catch a Peek-at-you
Ash Ketchum Jokes
Here is a list of funny ash ketchum jokes and even better ash ketchum puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why should you be wary of Ash Ketchum when you're taking a shower? Cos he might have a sneaky Pikachu
- How does ash ketchum know what you're wearing? He has a peekatyouuuu
Source:Am dad. - How do you know that Ash Ketchum is a pervert? Because he always takes a Pik-at-chu
- What do a pervert and Ash Ketchum have in common? The both want a Pikachu.
- Why is Ash Ketchum the gayest character in anime? Every episode, he falls for a trap.
- Why did Ash Ketchum enter a singing competition? He heard there would be Gary-oake.
- What do you call Ash Ketchum's loudest sneeze? His pikachu.
- After MANY years of research, scientists have found that it is possible for humans to be immortal. "All one has to is drink some of Ash Ketchum's blood to become immortal", say experts.
- Charlie Sheen is like Ash Ketchum BeBecause they both catch things
- What is Ash Ketchums favourite play from the 20th century? Waiting for Gogoat
Ash Wednesday Jokes
Here is a list of funny ash wednesday jokes and even better ash wednesday puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's Thanos' favourite holiday? Ash Wednesday
- On Ash Wednesday I will be giving up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights. It's going to be completely Excel Lent.
- My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling... But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.
- Ash Wednesday was yesterday so my family is going to be eating a lot more legumes Mostly lentils
- Did you know that today is Sean Connery's favorite holiday? Ash Wednesday
- What did the pastor say to the boy ditching mass on Ash Wednesday? Get your ash back over here!
- How Do Priests Get High? Snorting the left over ashes from Ash Wednesday...
- If Pokemon had a national holiday, what would it be called? Ash Wednesday
- Black people Ash Wednesday doesn't have anything to do with. your dry cracked skin.
Ash Tree Jokes
Here is a list of funny ash tree jokes and even better ash tree puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the tree owner say to the Emerald Ash Borer Beetle after it destroyed his tree? What an Ash-hole!
- What is the most popular type of tree in California? Ash!
And how do they water them?
Firehose. - What is the most popular type of tree in California? Ash.
- What's the most common tree in California? Ash.
- What did Sean Connery say about the s**... tree carving? T'was a nice piece of ash.
Volcanic Ash Jokes
Here is a list of funny volcanic ash jokes and even better volcanic ash puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the hipster from Pompeii say to the archaeologist who discovered him? "I was into volcanic ash before it was cool."
- There's a new fungicide in development made from volcanic ash... Pyroclasticflobin
- Europe to Iceland:
Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down.
Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it?
Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH!
Iceland: Woooops...
Cheerful Fun Ash Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about ash you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ash pranks.
Do you know any jokes?
**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"
**Me:** "No."
**Her:** "I'll teach you one."
"Knock! Knock!"
**Me:** "Who's there?"
**Her:** "Ash."
"Now ask, Ash: who?"
**Me:** "Ash: who?"
**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."
**Me: rekt**
How do you trap an elephant?
Well first you dig a really big hole. Then put dry leaves and wood in the hole and light them on fire. Wait for the fire to go out. Then cover the hole with leaves and wait for the elephant to walk by it.
Then, sneak up behind the elephant, and when it least expects it, kick it in the ash hole
A young tree, curious about his lineage, asked an older tree, "Am I the son of a beech, or the son of a birch?"
The older tree replied, "I don't know, but your mom was the finest piece of ash in the forest!"
Police Shooting
A lady was filling up the gas tank in her car and lit a cigarette to pass the time. After which a piece of ash fell onto her arm and started a fire. As she's flailing about trying to put the fire out, a police cruiser pulls into the station. Instinctively, she starts running towards the officer in an effort to get help. The police officer sees the lady running at him and shoots her, killing her
I guess you shouldn't run towards police officers if you have a firearm
Wisdom, Beauty, or Money
At a meeting of the college faculty, an angel suddenly appears and tells the head of the Physics department, I will grant you whichever of three blessings you choose: Wisdom, Beauty—or ten million dollars.
Immediately, the professor chooses Wisdom.
There is a ash of lightning, and the professor appears transformed, but he just sits there, staring down at the table. One of his colleagues whispers, Say something.
The professor says, I should have taken the money.
An elderly man takes his grandson golfing,
Once they were at their first hole the grandfather remarks, y'know when I was your age I could hit the ball right over that big ash tree over yonder. The boy looks and sees it is quite a hit and not wanting to be out done he whacks one right dead center and it sticks right in the trunk. As he stood there impressed by his grandfathers feat, the man finished his comment, 'course when I was your age that tree was 'bout 3 feet tall
How do you catch an elephant?
First, you'll need to dig a hole deep enough for an elephant. Proceed to complete surround the hole with green peas and fill the bottom of the hole with ashes.
*Once the elephant bends down to take a pee, kick it in the ash hole.*
Two trees in the forest one day noticed a seedling that was growing between them.
But the trees were so tall, they couldn't tell what kind tree it was.
One day a kindly b**... came by, and the two trees asked the b**... if he could tell them what kind of tree was growing between them.
The b**... started nibbling at the seedling and said, That's no son of a beech. He nibbled a little more and said, That's no son of a birch.
He nibbled a little bit more, and exclaimed, But that's the best piece of ash I've had in a long time!
How to catch a bear
First, you dig a big hole in the ground out in the woods and you fill it to the top with ash.
Second, place fresh peas all around the hole.
Then when the bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ash hole.
I always wondered why Pikachu's electric shock blasts off team rocket but not Ash.
I guess Ash is just better grounded.
How do you catch an elephant?
First, you dig a hole and let a fire burn out in it. Then, you put peas all around it. When the elephant comes to take a pea you kick him in the ash hole.
Compliments of my deceased grandfather for telling me this joke when I was a kid.
A priest and an atheist are playing golf.
The priest is okay, but the atheist is s**.... He keeps missing his shots. Every time he misses a shot, he says 'Damn, missed!' The priest got more and more agitated at the use of the word 'damn', and eventually snapped. He said, 'Do not use that word or God himself will strike you down!' There's an immediate ruble from the sky, and a bolt of lighting shoots down and vaporizes the priest into ash. A booming voice rings out across the golf course, striking fear into the golfers, and says:
'Damn, missed!'
Some one told me to leave my auto correct on
I told them to e**... ash
Little Johnny and the Salesman
A salesman knocks on a door. A few seconds later the door opens. Little Johnny is standing there with a bourbon and Coke in one hand and lit cigar in the other hand.
The salesman looks at him for a second and then asks "Little boy, is your mommy here?"
Johnny flicks some cigar ash on the carpet, rubs it into the carpet with his shoe. Then he looks at the salesman and asks "What do you think?"
You want to know how to catch a bear?
First you dig a big hole, then you place peas all around the rim. After that you dump wood ash in the bottom of the hole.
Now, when a bear comes to take a pea you kick them in the ash hole.
Two Jewish kids are fighting, one throws ash on the other.
The other says:"Don't get your parents involved"
How to catch an elephant
Dig a hole big enough for an elephant. Fill it with loose ash and cover it with frozen peas as bait. Then when he comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole.
If Black Panther was a Pokemon, Ash would ask him...
Wakanda Pokemon are you?
How many Jews can you fit in a car?
Depends how big the ash tray is.
To catch an elephant (my favourite joke when I was a kid):
First off, you're going to need to dig an elephant-sized hole.
Next, fill the hole with wood and set it ablaze.
When the fire dies down to ashes, surround the hole with peas (elephants love peas).
Wait for an elephant to come take a pea.
Then kick it in the ash hole.
A woman goes to dump her dads ashes in the ocean to fulfill his wishes.
When she tries to pour the ashes into the ocean, the wind blows the ash back into her eyes.
She hears her dad say "Whats wrong, you cant sea?"
I've been really mad at my dad since he died...
...all he's done for the last 6 years is sit on his ash.
A penitent man decided to give up s**... for Lent...
A penitent man decided to give up s**... for the Lenten season. His wife was not informed of this situation, however. One the second night after Ash Wednesday, she showed some interest in relations. Rebuffing her advances he said, "I'm sorry, honey--I can't. It's Lent."
Angrily, she replied, "To whom and how long?"
How to catch a bear...
1st - Dig a huge hole and fill it with wood
2nd - Light the wood on fire and burn it until there is nothing but ashes
3rd - Place peas all around the outside of the hole
Now, when the bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him right in the ash hole.
How Kids Got Their Names
3 Kids are taking about how they got their names, and why their parents named as such.
The first one, a girl named "Rose" says "I was named Rose, because when I was born my parents dropped rose pedals on me."
The second one, a boy named "Ash" says "I was named Ash, because wedge I was born my parents dropped ashes on me."
The third one, a boy named "Brick" says "AHHHUUUUAUUAUUAAAA HUUAAA HURRRR"
How to trap a Bear.
1.) Dig a Hole.
2.) Put Peas around the Hole.
3.) Put ashes inside the Hole.
4.) When the Bear comes to take a Pea Kick him in the ash hole.
How do you catch an elephant?
First you dig a big hole and fill it with ashes. Next you put peas around the hole. When it comes to take a pea you kick it in the ash hole.
How do you catch an elephant?
You dig a pit, fill it with ash, and surround it with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, you sneak up behind him and kick him in the ash hole.
The Auschwitz-Birkenau Museum released a PSA that visitors were not allowed to play Pokemon GO!
Because they didn't want people pretending to be Ash
How do you catch a bear?
You first dig a hole. Then fill it up with ash from your fireplace. Since bears love peas grab a frozen bag from the store and surround the hole with frozen peas then wait. When the bear comes around and bends down to take a pea you kick him in the ash hole.
I had a meeting with my son's headteacher.
I slammed my hand on the desk. "My son...Nick...came home from school with ash on his clothes. He seemed mildly stimulated, too."
"Nicotine?" he asked me.
I said, "Not even that, he's twelve."
What do you get when Charizard uses a flame attack on his trainer?
Ash.
What did the necropheliac say after his lover was cremated?
Can I still get a piece of ash?
What do you call a h**... that you use to stir a fire.
An ash h**....
What is jewish Pokemontrainer called?
Ash
Did you hear about all the Pokemon that died in the fire?
All that was left was Ash
How do you catch a bear?
First, dig a large bear-sized hole. Then, burn up some paper and fill the hole with ash. Lastly, kick the bear in the ash-hole.
How to catch a bear...
Dig a giant hole...fill it with ash and put peas around it. Then when the bear goes to take a pea..kick him in the ash hole.
How do you capture an elephant?
You dig up a hole, put ashes in it and surround the hole with peanuts. Then, you kick him in the ash hole.
After Ash Ketchum catches them all
in Kanto region, they were really happy for him! So when they wanted to reward him for his mighty success, they decided to build a mall for him. They called it
Ketchum Mall.
My pseudonym when I would write a book about volcanoes?
T.R. Ash
How do you catch an Elephant?
Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, and line the outside with peas.
So when the Elephant comes to take a pea, you can kick him in the ash hole.
Child services told me to stop using cigarettes as they are harming my children
Fair enough, I'll just use an Ash tray
Rubies are red, Sapphires are blue...
I'll be your Ash, will you be my Pikachu?
(More of a pickup line than a joke, but still wanted to share)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Ash
Ash who?
\*Coffin Dance\*
How do you know you're from the Pacific Northwest?
When you're Washingtons of ash off your car in the morning
A chemist mixes two chemicals with ash from a German Crematorium.
The poor guy got fired for it. It was his Final Solution.
What's the name Jewish pokemon trainer
Ash
What do you call a flying jew?
Ash
How do you catch a bear?
1. Dig a big hole
2. Fill the hole with ash
3. Place peas all around the hole
4. Finally, when the bear stops to take a pea you kick it in the ash-hole
Why was Ash looking through your window?
He was just trying to take a peek at choo.
