The Best 8 Asda Jokes

Following is our collection of Asda jokes which are very funny. There are some asda ikea jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these asda supermarket puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

I walked into ASDA today...

I walked into ASDA today wanting to buy 6 cans of Sprite. When I got home, I realised I'd picked 7up by mistake.

I'm a Polish student in the UK

Today the cashier in ASDA asked me if I needed help packing my bags. The Brexit is worse than I thought...

True story

A few years ago, the (very attractive) checkout assistant in Asda asked the person in front of me for age ID. Ever the charmer I asked if she wanted to see my ID.

Quick as a flash she replied "Yeah, go on, show me your bus pass!"

Asda joke, True story

I went to an ASDA Cafe for lunch

Yesterday i was shopping in ASDA and decide to have lunch in the Cafe, i ordered a plain burger and chips.

when i got to the counter to pay the woman said,

"A plain burger, that's a bit boring isn't it? are you sure you don't want anything on it?"

to which i replied,

"Oh go on then! i'll have £5 each way..."

have you seen the clown that hides from arseholes in asda?

no? well then...


the horse meat scandal

during the recent horse meat scandal in the UK they discovered that the Welsh lamb in Asda ( Walmart ) had 2% human dna.

Did you know that having sex while drunk is illegal in Iceland?

Unfortunately, I'm not sure about if Asda have their own different rules

Asda joke, Did you know that having sex while drunk is illegal in Iceland?

Apparently it is illegal to have drunk sex in Iceland..

Not sure about Asda tho you might want to check their policies.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the asda grocery jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working asda superstore piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes