Asda Jokes

Following is our collection of retailer humor and ikea one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Asda puns for adults, dirty checkout jokes or clean supermarket gags for kids.

There is an abundance of grocery jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 7 funniest jokes on asda. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any superstore witze you can hear about asda.

The Best jokes about Asda

I walked into ASDA today...

I walked into ASDA today wanting to buy 6 cans of Sprite. When I got home, I realised I'd picked 7up by mistake.

I'm a Polish student in the UK

Today the cashier in ASDA asked me if I needed help packing my bags. The Brexit is worse than I thought...

True story

A few years ago, the (very attractive) checkout assistant in Asda asked the person in front of me for age ID. Ever the charmer I asked if she wanted to see my ID.

Quick as a flash she replied "Yeah, go on, show me your bus pass!"

Asda joke, True story

I went to an ASDA Cafe for lunch

Yesterday i was shopping in ASDA and decide to have lunch in the Cafe, i ordered a plain burger and chips.

when i got to the counter to pay the woman said,

"A plain burger, that's a bit boring isn't it? are you sure you don't want anything on it?"

to which i replied,

"Oh go on then! i'll have £5 each way..."

have you seen the clown that hides from arseholes in asda?

no? well then...


the horse meat scandal

during the recent horse meat scandal in the UK they discovered that the Welsh lamb in Asda ( Walmart ) had 2% human dna.

Did you know that having sex while drunk is illegal in Iceland?

Unfortunately, I'm not sure about if Asda have their own different rules

Asda joke, Did you know that having sex while drunk is illegal in Iceland?

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes