The Best 9 Ascended Heaven Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ascended Heaven jokes. There are some ascended heaven jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ascended heaven puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Ascended Heaven Jokes and Puns

two hardcore trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.

God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud? .

God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232 .

After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought .

When Jesus was resurrected, an angel escorted him to Heaven in a flying car

As the car ascended to the skies, it suddenly stalled and fell.

One of the disciples looked up and said, "Guess he shouldn't have driven emmanuel."

He arrives mysteriously. He helps others, performs miracles, gets betrayed, and finally ascends into the heavens.

E.T. was a great movie.

What did Jesus say before He ascended to Heaven on the 40th day of Easter?

"Beam me up, Scotty."

They say that if you are good and righteous you will ascend into heaven...

Otherwise you will split apart into small groups.


What do you call a section of a circle that ascends to heaven?

An arcangle.

Did you know Jesus actually got married after he was resurrected and ascended into heaven?

His dad surprised him with an arranged marriage by having Marry Magdalene crucified as well. It was one of those *nail order brides*.

How does that heaven joke go?

Ages ago, I read this joke about a man dying, and as he ascends the pearly staircase, increasingly attractive women with increasingly large amounts of gold urge him a level higher for some really promising reward. Eventually, he reaches the top, and there's a man who makes Jabba the Hutt look like a sex god, and his name is some kind of sexual pun on the earlier promise.
I just can't for the life of me remember the specifics of the joke. Has anyone else heard it?

Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in.



A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates β€œWho was the first man?” asked Peter.

β€œAdam.”

β€œThat’s correct. Enter.”

Soon another man came along.

β€œWhere did Adam and Eve live?”

”Eden.”

β€œThat’s correct. Enter.”

Then Mother Theresa came along.

β€œOoh, I’ll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when she met Adam for the first time?”

β€œMmm, that IS a hard one.”

β€œEnter.”

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ascended heaven jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ascended heaven piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes