Arts Jokes

Following is our collection of artistic humor and linguistics one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Arts puns for adults, dirty artists jokes or clean lecturer gags for kids.

There is an abundance of scholarships jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 67 funniest jokes on arts. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any humanities witze you can hear about arts.

The Best jokes about Arts

Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?

It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.

I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture.

It was called Electronic Arts.

I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers...

Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.

A Chinese guy walks into a bar...

A Chinese guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff, and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him :


β€’ My friend, do you know any martial arts, kung fu, karate or other stuff?


β€’ Why do you ask, is it because i'm Chinese?


β€’ No, it's because you are drinking my beer.

What do you call an amputee trying to do karate?

Partial Arts.


What's the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a Philosophy Major?

One will ask WHY you want fries with that!

Martial arts

The Israelis developed Krav Maga - the art of disabling an opponent as quickly as possible.

The Japanese developed Jujitsu - the art of defeating an armed and armored opponent.

The Brazilians developed Capoeira - the art of defeating an opponent using dance and acrobatics.

The French developed parkour - the art of running away as quickly and efficiently as possible.

"My first son has a PHD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and jornalism and my youngest son is a burglar."

Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!"

Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."

Don't you just hate it when med students call themselves doctors?

I mean you don't see engineering students calling themselves engineers or arts students calling themselves baristas

What did the Arts Major say to the Business Major?

"Can I take your order?"

Dramatic Arts

Little Charlie has had his dreams set on becoming an actor, and, finally, he lands a part in the school play. He runs home after school to tell his dad. "That's fantastic!" his father replies. "Who do you play?" he asks. "Dad, I play a guy who's been married for twenty years!" His dad plants a hand on Charlie's shoulder, smiling sweetly, and says, "Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."


How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

A science graduate asks the question why?

A science graduate asks the question why?

An engineering graduate asks the question how?

An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

Four Majors...

The science major asks "Why does it work?"

The engineering major asks "How does it work?"

The business major asks "How much will it cost?"

The liberal arts major asks "Do you want fries with that?"

What do you call someone with no legs doing Karate?

Partial Arts.

What has four wheels and can't support a family?

A liberal arts major.

I lied about the wheels.

Mexican self defense

A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.

Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.

Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.

At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices

Mexican: Judono

Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?

Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...

A biker walks into a bar

and tells the bartender that he has a blonde joke. The bartender says, "I'd be careful saying a blonde joke here. On your left is a blonde lady that does mixed martial arts, and on your right is a blonde female cop. Not to mention, there are 3 blonde lady bartenders including myself. Are you sure you still want to tell it?" The biker then replies, "Well, not anymore if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?

Glue.


What do you call a bear with martial arts skills?

Grizz Lee.

^I'll ^see ^myself ^out.

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a
gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, maΒ΄am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said:
"It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, maΒ΄am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tired of trying to start up a conversation, said:
"You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said:
"You know, I hope you donΒ΄t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, maΒ΄am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!"
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him a few times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said:
"Wow, you sure didnΒ΄t forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice:
"I hope not, itΒ΄s only 2130 now."

Degrees

The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'

The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'

The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'

The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'

Job Interview

A games programmer is at a job interview at Electronic Arts.

As the interview comes to an end, the interviewer glances down at the programmer's rΓ©sumΓ© and sees "please turn over" written at the bottom.

He turns the rΓ©sumΓ© over, but finds that the other side is blank.

The interviewer asks, "Where's the rest of your rΓ©sumΓ©?"

The programmer replies, "Oh, that's downloadable content; it costs an extra ten dollars!"

An engineer major asks...

"How can we build this?"
A business major asks, "How can we finance this?"
A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Jerry is that you?

said Tom.

Jerry - "Oh my god, Tom! I haven't seen you since college!"

Tom - "Yea it's been a while, how are things?"

Jerry - "Not bad, I think I've done pretty well for myself. I ended up finishing that Bachelor's of Fine Arts and spend my time painting. I love it, wouldn't give it up for the world! How bout you? You end up finishing your degree?"

Tom - "Yep, Software Engineering. I make a pretty comfortable living and it's rewarding work. I can't believe it, it's been so long. It was great catching up with you."

Jerry - "It was, it was. Just one last question."

Tom - "Shoot."

Jerry - "Would you like fries or onion rings with your burger?"

Tom - "Fries."

What did Eminem learn to defend himself?

Marshall arts.

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista

What type of fighting technique do amputees practice?

Partial arts.

I have a degree in Liberal Arts

Do you want fries with that?

What is the difference between a philosophy major and a liberal arts major?

One will ask WHY you need fries with that!

What do you call a paraplegic who does karate?

Partial Arts.

What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?

The arts student gets a mark for it.

What did the Arts major say to the Science major?

Do you want fries with that?

My son's arts and crafts class isn't graded.

I'm glad they teach kids how worthless a liberal-arts degree is at such a young age.

Why do arts graduates like fancy restaurants?

Bigger tips.

A Chinese man walks into a bar

A Chinese man walks into a bar and starts drinking a beer. The man next to him asks, "Do you know Kung Fu? Or Karate? Taekwondo? Any martial arts maybe?"

The Chinese man replies in disgust, "You think that just because I'm Chinese I know martial arts? That's racist!"

"Good, because you're drinking my beer," was all the Chinese man heard, before he got knocked out with a punch.

What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family.

What's a Liberal Arts Major's Favorite Board Game?......

Trivial Pursuit.

What did the arts graduate say to the mechanic?

Would you like fries with that?

Seagull joke

Q: What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?

A: Steven Seagull

"Actually, I'll have you know I have a degree in liberal arts"

"That's great ma'am, but I ordered fries with my meal"

Electronic Arts CEO Andrew Wilson has a one night stand.

The woman he was with contacts him soon after to let him know she was pregnant, and wants him to own up to his mistake.


Andrew then replies, "It's not a mistake, it's surprise mechanics."

Just been attacked by a ginger kid doing martial arts....

turns out he was the Carroty kid.

In today's economy what do Arts graduates bring to the table?

Your lunch.

What do liberal arts majors yell when overwhelmed?

Oh,the humanities!

What is the difference between a arts graduate and a large pizza ?

Pizza can feed a family of four

Why don't you put a post office next to a liberal arts college?

They'll always argue over the male agenda.

What was Hitler's Least Favorite Martial Arts?

Jew Jitsu

When a martial arts practitioner gets hurt...

it's called a ninjury.

Hopefully you guys get it.

A man was looking for a person to teach him martial arts, so he goes in to see a supposed ninja to ask for lessons. When he walks in he sees the ninja slicing at a fly with his sword, but not being able to kill it. The man says, "How can you teach me martial arts if you can't even hit a fly!?" The ninja then reply's, "Oh, don't worry, that fly won't be having any children."

Working on a new type of martial arts that involves taking money from Hispanics..

called TakeJuan'sDough.

If you're a liberal arts major, here's a tip

$5, and be glad it's 20%.

What do you call a Rasta with a liberal arts degree?

Jahbless!

Did you hear Professor Lupin is using boggarts in his Defense Against the Dark Arts class?

It's a bit riddikulus if you ask me.

My CS Professor dropped this on us today...

What's the difference between a CS degree, an IT degree, a Fine Arts degree, and a pepperoni pizza...?





A Fine Arts degree can't feed a family.

Martial Arts for weak prisoners

A new martial art similar to taekwondo is being developed for weak people that go to prison. It is named TyroneNo

At the men's bathroom of the local college...

... above the toilet paper dispenser was a piece of graffiti:

"Liberal Arts Degrees. Take One."

I was once in a 1 on 5 fight.

I honed my skills from years of martial arts training, and we finally managed to beat up that guy.

Not sure why the left wants to punch nazis

You'd think they'd love a failed liberal arts student who blames all his problems on other races.

Today I change my major from law to liberal arts.

Psych.

What do you call a flatworm with a liberal arts degree?

An interdisci-planarian

Turning water into wine is so first century.

If Jesus wants my attention now, he'd do better turning my liberal arts degree into something useful.

"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me.

She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."

What did the law graduate say to the arts graduate?

"I'd like a big mac meal with a coke please"

I met a girl today and told her that I'm a Master of Arts.

She said she had smelled it already.

What do challah and martial arts have in common?

Judo

Do something you love and never work a day in your life they said

So I got a liberal arts degree.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes