Artists Jokes

Following is our collection of canon humor and artistic one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Artists puns for adults, dirty bands jokes or clean musicians gags for kids.

There is an abundance of creative jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes on artists. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any benefactor witze you can hear about artists.

The Best jokes about Artists

Ive just been molested by a group of mime artists...

They did unspeakable things to me.

People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain.

No one expects the Spanish ink precision

Why are Subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"?

Even art majors deserve recognition

How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.


People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision

Muslim artists threw some paint bombs at a local building...

They blue it up.

A friend of mine was sexually assaulted by a gang of mime artists last night...

They did unspeakable things to him.

In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business.

Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!

How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub?

100\. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is.

Two martial artists...

...are arguing over who would win a fight between a skilled swordsman carrying a broadsword and a master wielder of an ÊpÊe. They agree that the only way to settle the argument is actually to fight one another, each using one of the two weapons. An epic battle ensues and then, the two swordsmen feinted.

A joke from work

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.

Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.

Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.

Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.

Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."

I hate all 1970's female solo artists

What a bunch of pre-madonnas

"Good artists copy. Great artists steal."

\- Me

What do you call 5 artists stuck on an island?

Marooned 5

Many people who go to Spain to get tattoos are surprised at how skilled the tattoo artists are.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

Four surgeons are talking...

Four surgeons are talking about their favorite types of patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says he prefers to operate on librarians, because when you open them up everything is in alphabetical order.

The second surgeon says he likes to operate on accountants, because everything inside is numbered.

The third surgeon says his favorite are artists because everything is color-coded.

Finally the last surgeon says nah, you are all wrong politicians are the easiest, because they are brainless, gutless, heatless, and lack a spine.

Why are there no Motown artists from North Korea?

Because they have no Seoul.

what do martial artists eat?

kung food

What do hookers and tattoo artists have in common?

The minimum is $60, unless you're willing to risk catching a disease.

what type of shoes do artists wear?


Do competitive origami artists ever fold under pressure?

Artists cover their mistakes with paint, chefs cover their mistakes with sauce. How do doctors cover their mistakes?

With dirt.

How many performance artists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know either, I walked out early too.

My late wife was abducted by a troupe of travelling Mime artists.

The police informed me, they did... Unspeakable things to her.

My ex was gang raped by a troupe of mime artists.

They performed unspeakable acts on her.

I ran into a 19 year old hipster who's favorite musician was Jimi Hendrix...

It was so strange to see a hipster who liked older music, so I had to ask, What about his music did you like so much?

I just love underground artists he replied.

Why do artists die early in life?

Too many strokes.

What kind of shoes do artists wear?


Why does Subway call its employees Sandwich Artists?

So you can finally say you are earning money as an artist.

Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?

I think it's called Two Baroque Girls

I don't know what it is about artists

but I feel like I'm drawn to them.

Two criminals are trying to get away from an art museum in their getaway van after stealing pieces from 3 artists.

One gets in and turns the key. The van won't start.
The other one turns and asks, "Why aren't we moving?"
"I have no Monet to buy the Gascan to make the Van Gogh."

Why are artists the only guys who can sleep with comedians?

Because drawing is the only way to make a comic strip.

I don't trust artists

their jobs are sketchy

Q. Why did Germany provide aid to artists hit by coronavirus?

A. They know what happen when painter suffer setbacks.

Why do artists smell so bad?

They're too busy drawing their bath to ever actually get in it.

Good artists copy, great artists steal

I wrote that.

Today, I found out there are places that sell fake scallops made out of white fish...

there are a lot of cod artists out there.

What do all the great rap artists put in their coffee?

2Pac Shakur

Where do country music artists become country music greats?

The obituaries

What do artists say to each other before they duel?

avant garde!

How many country artists does it take to change a light bulb?


One changes the light bulb, the other one makes a song how good the old light bulb was.

Where do artists go to truly become great?

The obituaries

Why do origami artists make terrible poker players?

They always fold.

My parents were both artists

I call them MoMA and Dada

What kind of weapon is used by martial artists who specialize in wordplay?


They say that good artists borrow and great artists steal

This sub must have some pretty great artists...

TIL J. Cole robbed a bank and was never caught despite there being several witnesses

When police sketch artists asked witnesses for a description of the robber they said he had no features.

They say that good artists borrow but great artists steal

Anyways, that's how I got banned from the Louvre.

Your typical rock band

In my history of Rock and Roll class, chapter 13 focused on the early rock artists post punk era. At the very beginning of the chapter the band King Crimson is briefly mentioned, they seemed to have qualities that later artist would adopt and were quite popular, with songs such as 21 century schizoid boy, I talk to the wind, and In the court of King Crimson (my favorite by the band). However they didn't blow up as much as later rock artists such as Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, and AC/DC. They're more so seen as a footnote of that era because of this. I suppose King Crimson was ahead of their time in that regards, but only by like 10 seconds.

Why are martial artists so stylish?

Cause they always have kick-ass shoes!

I've noticed that women are natural born artists

From drawing eyebrows to drawing conclusion.

Today i offended a group of drawers

Apparently they prefer the term "artists"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes