Artistic Jokes
37 artistic jokes and hilarious artistic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about artistic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Artistic Short Jokes
Short artistic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The artistic humour may include short photographic jokes also.
- Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body. I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
- The Artist I just saw a group of people who were watching an artist sketch all of them in his book. The man was good too, he really knew how to draw a crowd.
- People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. No one expects the Spanish ink precision
- A con artist, a pervert, and a racist walks into a bar. The barkeep looks up and says "The usual, Mr. Trump?"
- ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting. CRITIC: It's worthless.
ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway. - How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.
- Tattoos People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision - What is the difference between priest and con-artist? Priest are so good they fooled themselves.
- What do you call an artist bigger than Rihanna? A Rihanna Grande
- If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life.... Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?
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Artistic One Liners
Which artistic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with artistic? I can suggest the ones about talented and literary.
- r kelly is really changing the rap game
He takes the art out of rap artist - Ive just been molested by a group of mime artists... They did unspeakable things to me.
- Did you hear about Prince? Well I mean the artist formerly known as Prince.
- What do you call an artist in a dark alley? Sketchy
- If I was invisible for a day... I'd kick a mime artist to death.
- What do you call a 1 armed man who does karate? a Partial artist
- Why can't you trust an artist? Cuz they're sketchy, shady, and they'll frame you
- Why are subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"? Even art majors deserve recognition
- What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs? Condescending
- What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician? To the airport please
- The results for The Disaster Artist are in. Overall, it's received Hi Marks.
- Why did the origami Artist never win a poker match? Because he will always fold.
- What do you call an artist who has no money baroque.....
(I'll just see myself out) - Muslim artists threw some paint bombs at a local building... They blue it up.
- I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. Now that is bold.
Quirky and Hilarious Artistic Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about artistic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arts jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make artistic pranks.
A young artist exhibits his work for the first time...
.. and a well known art critic is in attendance.
The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"
"Yes, " says the artist.
"It's worthless," says the critic
The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
-Sure.
-It's pretty much worthless.
-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.
Women are discussing their s**... life.
- My man is an architect. Our love life has form, vision and function, good plan as well.
- My man is an artist. Our love life has passion, imagination and improvisation.
- And my man is a programmer. He sits in bed and tells me how good it's going to be when it's ready.
So a prison break was happening...
And I happened to be walking around when it happened. It had a huge wall, and I saw someone climbing down from it. Turns out I knew the guy, he's a famous midget con artist that I ratted out. As he climbed down, he gave me this wretched look.
It was a little condescending.
Husband on second day of marriage :-
He went to the makeup artist who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her a beautifully packed iphone X box.
Make up artist opened the box with great happiness but was suddenly depressed to see a Nokia 1100.
Husband smiled and said "same feeling I had when I saw my wife this morning"
You can paint a thousand paintings and not be called an artist...
You can run a thousand marathons and not be called an athlete...
You can cook a thousand meals and not be called a chef.
But as soon as you kill ONE PERSON...
An old Soviet joke..
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet–Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Nadezhda Krupskaya (Lenin's wife) n**... in bed with Leon Trotsky. One guest asks, "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" To which the painter replies, "Lenin is in Poland."
An artist talks to his curator about his recent sales
Artist: "So? Did I sell anything?"
Curator: "You won't believe this: a man came by and asked if the value of the paintings will rise after the artist's death. I told him that I think so. So he bought the entire gallery.
Artist: "Wow! That's great! who was he?"
Curator: "It was your doctor."
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
An Englishman, Frenchman and a Soviet go to an art exhibition.
They come to a marble bust of Adam and Eve. The Englishman says "Look at their calm repose, their stiff upper lip. They must have been English."
The Frenchman says "Look at their nakedness, their natural artistic beauty. They must have been French."
The Soviet goes "No no. They have no food, no water, no clothes and no shelter, and they're told they live in a Paradise. They're obviously Russian!"
Joke best told with very bad accents
An artist has a 6 year old child who also likes to draw
His child drew a horse.
The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly."
The child replied, "How did I draw it wrongly?"
The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?"
The child replied, "Why can't it have wings?"
The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings."
The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse?"
A son and his Dad have an intense argument and the son storms off, furious.
Before he gets out of earshot of his father, he yells "Jim Morrison was a terrible singer and an uninspired artist who never did anything worthwhile".
His father cannot believe this insolence, and screams at the top of his lungs "As long as you live in this house, you will never, EVER SLAM THE DOORS"
