The Best 45 Artis Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Artis jokes. There are some artis soviet jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these artis bed puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Artis Jokes and Puns

An artist is commissioned to create a painting to celebrate Soviet-Polish relations...

to be entitled 'Lenin in Poland'.
Around a month later the artist unveils his painting to a crowd of Soviet dignitaries, and it is greeted by gasps of disgust
The painting depicts Lenin's wife in bed with Leonid Trotsky
One of the assembled guests asks 'But where is Lenin?'
To which the artist replied, 'Lenin's in Poland'

Why does the artist never win?

Because he can only draw.

Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

Nobody wanted to draw his iron.

Artis joke, Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

Why are artists the only guys who can sleep with comedians?

Because drawing is the only way to make a comic strip.

Why do artists smell so bad?

They're too busy drawing their bath to ever actually get in it.


ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting.

CRITIC: It's worthless.

ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway.

Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license?

He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.

Artis joke, Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license?

The Artist

I just saw a group of people who were watching an artist sketch all of them in his book. The man was good too, he really knew how to draw a crowd.

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

When an artist covers another artist's song, it's flattering. When a comedian tells another comedian's joke, it's

Carlos Mencia

An artist gets some good and bad news.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have some good news and some bad news," the owner replied. The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death." "When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The guy is your doctor !"

You can explore artis guests reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean artis celebrate dad jokes. There are also artis puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


An artist found a way to draw a two-sided figure, but the International Geometry Summit immediately began to furiously contest the new shape...

I say, let bi-gons be bi-gons

The Artist

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news
is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The gentleman was your doctor."

Why do artists die early in life?

Too many strokes.

An Artist Gets Mugged...

He goes to the police and draws them a picture.

The policeman says "That's a good picture, we could nail the guy with that."

"I dunno.." Says the rookie besides him. "It seems a bit sketchy."

I want to become an artist

I heard there's a lot of monet in that business

Artis joke, I want to become an artist

The artist jumped from a bridge, carrying all of his favorite paints and pastels.

At least he passed with flying colors.

Why did the artist go to jail?

He was sketchy.

Where do artists go to truly become great?

The obituaries


Artists cover their mistakes with paint, chefs cover their mistakes with sauce. How do doctors cover their mistakes?

With dirt.

Why are artist bad at Uno?

Because they Draw a lot

The artist Pitbull is my biggest inspiration.

never has someone made so much money with such little talent.

As an artist, it doesn't matter if Im naughty or nice for Christmas.

Either way, Im getting charcoal.

An artist lives next to a Marsh.

Twice a week, he goes out and collects the clam shells in the marsh to use in his art. One day, he visits a fellow artist and the two compare their works as usual. Suddenly, a gang of bandits breaks into the house to steal art, but before anyone else could react the first artist launches a furious flurry of kicks and punches that quickly incapacitates all the robbers.
"Incredible!" Goes his friend, "I never realised you were so well trained in combat!"
"Well you should," the first artist replied, "considering you already know I am a marsh shell artist."

Artist: "I always show my paintings to large rocks because I need their opinion."

Everyone knows that "Beauty is in the eye of the boulder."

What did the artist say to get his vehicle moving

Van Gogh

Why was the artist afraid he might go to jail?

Because he'd been framed!

What do artists say to each other before they duel?

avant garde!

I don't know what it is about artists

but I feel like I'm drawn to them.

An artist was found dead in his home

The details are a bit sketchy.

What did the artist say when his car got stolen?

Where did my Van Gogh?

What do an artist and a runner have in common?

They both have masterPACEs

How does an artist donate to charity

They draw blood.

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet–Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland."

When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. A voice calls out, "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" To which the painter replies, "Lenin is in Poland."

The artist named Feat has a monopoly on the music industry and should be tracked down.

Every time I see a song, Feat is always on it. This is too suspicious, and must mean he has a monopoly on the recording industry. Maybe he has parents with connections, maybe he is holding someone hostage, or maybe it is something much worse. What is apparent though, is that he is definitely breaking the law somehow, and must face his crimes. #DeathToFeat

An artist takes his work to a gallery for the first time.

A well-known art critic happens to be there and spots the painting. He walks over to the young artist.

"Excuse me, would you like my opinion of your painting?"

"Sure," replied the artist.

"Frankly, it's completely worthless."

"I know, but tell it to me anyway."

The Artist

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display.
''I have good news and bad news'' the owner replied.
''The good news is that a gentleman enquired if your paintings will increase in value after your death. When I told them they would, he bought all the 15 paintings hanging here!''
''That's wonderful!'' the artist exclaimed, ''What's the bad news?''
''The bad news is that the guy was your doctor''

An artist has a 6 year old child who also likes to draw

His child drew a horse.

The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly."

The child replied, "How did I draw it wrongly?"

The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?"

The child replied, "Why can't it have wings?"

The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings."

The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse?"

An artist is alone and wants to be pleasured (NSFW)

Masturclayshon

An artist talks to his curator about his recent sales

Artist: "So? Did I sell anything?"

Curator: "You won't believe this: a man came by and asked if the value of the paintings will rise after the artist's death. I told him that I think so. So he bought the entire gallery.

Artist: "Wow! That's great! who was he?"

Curator: "It was your doctor."

Why was the artist in jail?

Apparently he was framed.

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

Why are artists so good at self control?

Because they always know where to draw the line.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."

An Artist asks his model if she's okay with nudity

Model- Yes I am
Artist- Thank God! These pants were killing me!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the artis wife jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working artis win piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes