Amusing & Witty Artillery Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
A Russian comes home after fishing trip
A Russian comes home after fishing trip and hears the news that Russia is at war. He asks another Russian what is going on, and he tells him:
"We are at war with NATO!"
"Oh wow, how many troops have been lost?"
"Well, we have lost 45,000 troops, almost 2000 tanks, a thousand artillery pieces, several hundred helicopters and aircraft, several generals have been captured, our economy is in shambles, and the Moskva was sunk.
"And NATO?"
"NATO hasn't showed up yet."
Obama and a general are discussing how to attack ISIS
Obama: We need to get boots on the ground to attack them. Send in soldiers, artillery, and trucks.
General: You are forgetting something important sir.
Obama: No I am not.
General: Tanks, Obama.
One day in artillery instruction, a colonel came to inspect our class.
First up was Private O'Hara. The colonel got in his face and asked him what reading he had on his 105-mm howitzer. "Two-nine-oh-seven, sir," was the reply.
"Soldier," said the colonel, "don't you know you never say 'oh' in the artillery? You say 'zero.' What's your name, soldier?"
"Zero Hara, sir," answered the private.
They call me the Mary Poppins of artillery...
I deliver...
Super-calibre-ballistic-expedient-explosions
Sports Teams should be named for what their city is famous for
For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing.
Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers."
How is an accordion like an artillery shell?
Once you hear it, it's already too late.
There was a young French artillery officer, who had notions of grandeur, that is, until the day he stood too close to a firing cannon
He thought he was Napoleon, but he was actually blown-a-part.
World War 2 joke
Sometime around 1943, when the Germans were losing the war, h**... decided to boost his army's morale by visiting the front.
While there, he had the oppurtunity to interact with a soldier. He commented, "My brave young man, you are risking your life for the country by standing in the way of the artillery fire. You are sure to die. Would you like me to grant you a final wish?"
"Yes, my Fuhrer ", the soldier repiled. "What is it, brave one?"
"That I have the honor of dying with you!"
>!Dont laugh too hard. 200 German soldiers were executed for hearing this and laughing at it.!<
What's the similarity between artillery drills and political debates
"Cover ears, open mouth"
(X post) An artillery captain was made a saint by the Catholic Church.
One could say he was cannonized.
Why did the army have a heart attack?
Too much buildup in the carodid artillery.
You can explore artillery infantry reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean artillery firefight dad jokes. There are also artillery puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
An artilleryman says what?
What?
Right.
What?
What. He says what.
What?