The Best 43 Arthritis Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Arthritis jokes. There are some arthritis osteoporosis jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arthritis violently puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Arthritis Jokes and Puns

Father, what causes arthritis?

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, ''Father, what causes arthritis?''
''Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,'' the priest replied. ''Imagine that,'' the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'' ''I don't have arthritis, Father,'' the drunk said, ''but I just read in the paper that the Pope does.''

What did the joints say to the arthritis pain?

Uh-Leave!

I made this up when I was a little kid and naturally thought I was a comedic genius for many unfortunate years to come.

So I've got some buddies...

They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical marijuana to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.

Arthritis joke, So I've got some buddies...

A man hard of hearing flies to Indonesia to cure his arthritis...

He returns without luck, determined to give the doctor a piece of his mind, but the doctor corrects him: "I said that the most threatening inflammation was *in your knees again*.

Apparently there is a bipartisan push in the US senate to legalize marijuana for arthritis treatment....

So in other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support.


An old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor. He ordered a banana split. The waitress asked, Crushed nuts? No, he said. Arthritis.

My sex life is ruined

Yesterday my doctor diagnosed me with a disease which will ruin my sex life forever.

Your probably thinking Gonorrhea, Chlamydia or Aids!

It's much worse than that!

I've got arthritis in my hands!

Arthritis joke, My sex life is ruined

What did the tumblr user do when she got arthritis?

Massage a knee.

Welcome to the website for sufferers of arthritis

Click to find out more

An old man walked into an ice cream parlor...

He slowly climbed onto a stool, wincing with pain, and then proceeded to order a banana split.
"Crushed nuts, sir?" asked the waitress.
The old man took a deep breath and replied, "No, arthritis"

Do you know why doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis?

Because the definition of arthritis is inflammation of the joints

You can explore arthritis aiken reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arthritis franciscan dad jokes. There are also arthritis puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you hear about the drug dealer with arthritis?

He had bad joints.

I had a health scare recently...

My doctor said I had arthritis, I has so shocked I couldn't move a muscle... atleast I think that's the reason.

I hope I don't get rheumatoid arthritis..

Fingers crossed.

There's a bipartisan group petitioning for medical marijuana as an option for arthritis patients.

In other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support.

What does the devil take for his arthritis?

Ibuprofane

Arthritis joke, What does the devil take for his arthritis?

Things always have a way of going badly for me.

I tried to use pins on a voodoo doll that looks like my mother in law and I ended up curing her arthritis with acupuncture.

Apparently Sly Stallone is in talks to make Rocky 8.

In this one he'll fight Arthritis.

King Arthur pulled the sword from the stone.

King Arthritis on the other hand...


It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers...

I mean, the definition of arthritis is "inflammation of the joints"

Put some elbow grease into that son!

But I have arthritis dad!

My 93-year-old grandma has rheumatoid arthritis and is slow at crosswalks. Yesterday, she got hit by a car.

She's perfectly fine -- she has an auto-immune disease!

Arthritis is the cruelest disease of all. It makes a lot of your parts stiff

except the one you want.

My grandmother loves to knit but she was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.

She's holding out for some sort of cure. She has her fingers crossed.

If there was a bipartisan push in Congress to legalize medical marijuana for arthritis treatment...

there would be joint support for joint support for joint support.

What do you call a potter who has arthritis?

Clay Aiken

A man with arthritis goes to his drug dealer.

He says "Man, I need a few new joints."

What do you call it when an amphibian has inflamed joints?

Rheumatoad arthritis

What do you call clay with arthritis?

Clay Aiken

What do you call two people with arthritis?

Joint sufferers

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

A old man walks into a McDonalds

He is bent over and shuffling slowly. He approaches the counter with great difficulty and orders an ice cream sundae.

The cashier asks "Crushed nuts?"

The old man replies, "No arthritis."

An old man shuffled really slowly into an ice cream shop and said, Can I have a banana split?

Server: Sure. Crushed nuts?

Old man: No, Arthritis.

To all of you wondering if there is a cure for arthritis....

I think I've cracked it.

What health ailment do elderly frogs suffer from?

Ribbit-toad arthritis

I'll see myself out...

I think this year I'm going to embrace my natural arthritis and be a zombie

Paaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnsss

This year for Halloween, I'm going to use my arthritis to really help bring my zombie costume to life

Paaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnsss

My wife and I spend so much money on arthritis medication and weed that we made a whole new bank account just for those two things!

It's a joint account

Did you hear that arthritis can make you gay?

Well it made _me_ gay.

Met a lovely woman at my arthritis support group last night.

We clicked together.

Where did Axl Rose get arthritis?

In his Sha-na-na-na-na knees knees

What do stoners and arthritis have in common??

They both inflame joints.

A drunk stumbled to a church to ask a priest a question. He drunkenly asked "Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest, annoyed by the drunk, angrily replies:

"Arthritis? That's caused by drinking! Drinking too much!" The priest declared.

"Oh really father?" The drunk slurred.

However, the father wanted to really teach this man a lesson, and he said:

"Having un-wed sex also causes arthritis! And smoking! And gambling! All of it!" The priest shouted.

"Oh really father?" The drunk mumbled. "Because I read in the news that people in the clergy suffer from arthritis."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arthritis quatro jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arthritis arthritic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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