Following is our collection of funniest Art jokes. There are some art culinary jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these art sculpture puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
He takes the art out of rap artist
.. and a well known art critic is in attendance.
The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"
"Yes, " says the artist.
"It's worthless," says the critic
The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."
Worse news: it was an acceptance letter to art school.
Pay for the pizza!
It was called Electronic Arts.
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
-Sure.
-It's pretty much worthless.
-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.
I'm going to make sure Adolf Hitler never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.
The teacher says, "What's this?"
The kid says, "A picture of a cow eating grass."
The teacher asks, "Where's the grass?"
The kid says, "The cow ate it all."
"Ok, then where's the cow?"
"It left because there was no more grass."
They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.
But when I do it I'm "drunk" and need to "get out of Home Depot"
Too many frames.
You can explore art monet reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean art curator dad jokes. There are also art puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I'm having an excess stencil crisis.
Those poor art majors are going to suffer, then
Not C's
The Israelis developed Krav Maga - the art of disabling an opponent as quickly as possible.
The Japanese developed Jujitsu - the art of defeating an armed and armored opponent.
The Brazilians developed Capoeira - the art of defeating an opponent using dance and acrobatics.
The French developed parkour - the art of running away as quickly and efficiently as possible.
A Roman ordering 5 more beers.
joke by Art Pozner. He told me I could take it with me, and in his honor, you can take it with you.
ART ART ART!
They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.
"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."
"They are naked and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.
The Russian speaks up, "no clothes, no shelter, no bed, they have only an apple between them, and they're told this is paradise. They are certainly Russian."
Even art majors deserve recognition
"It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."
"Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"
"Two-thirty."
It had six Chapter 11s.
Give an Eevee a couple dollars every month for their art project and it turns into Patreon.
A philosophy student asks you *why* you want fries with that.
It's a dying art
Pay for your pizza.
Just remove the huge Dominoes sign on top!
Pay for the pizza.
The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're naked, so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? ...They're clearly Russian!"
(Whole thing done in thick fake accents)
But when I do it I'm drunk and ruining the wedding
An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.
He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"
The thief replies:
"I did not have the Monet
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh"
Removing pizza delivery signs is surprisingly easy.
"Absolutely beautiful, isn't it?" I asked the guy next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey. The way the colours intertwine. Truly remarkable."
He stepped away from the urinal and left.
A bench can support a family.
it's definitely up there.
One has a job.
"Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese"
A mastermind thief infiltrates The Louvre and steals several paintings. He loads them all into his van and drives off. A few blocks away, his van breaks down. When the police arrive on the scene, one of the officers asks the mastermind how something like this could happen if he was so smart. The mastermind replies with "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
Art art art :)
It ended in a draw.
The dead baby can feed a family of four.
In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $1,500 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. And I think she could be right."
Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you & your secretary."
"do you want fries with that?"
Sprite.
Twice a week, he goes out and collects the clam shells in the marsh to use in his art. One day, he visits a fellow artist and the two compare their works as usual. Suddenly, a gang of bandits breaks into the house to steal art, but before anyone else could react the first artist launches a furious flurry of kicks and punches that quickly incapacitates all the robbers.
"Incredible!" Goes his friend, "I never realised you were so well trained in combat!"
"Well you should," the first artist replied, "considering you already know I am a marsh shell artist."
...and they eventually got to the topic of sex. The Greek, feeling as though had would clearly win with his next point, stated very boldly, "Oh yea? Well, we Greeks invented the art of sex!"
Without skipping a beat, the Italian replied, "True, but *we* invented sex with women!"
Critic: "Would you like to know what I think of your art?"
Artist: "Oh, yes please"
Critic: "It's useless"
Artist: "I know, but I would still like to hear it. "
A private tutor (tooter)
Heard it from a guy on the street selling newspapers in front of the art institute in chicago.
The art collector asks the shop keeper if he could buy the cat.
The shop keeper tells him he can have it for $10.
The art collector asks if he could get the dish as well because the cats already familiar with it.
The shop keeper tells him he can't have it because its his lucky dish.
The art collector asks why it is lucky.
The shop keeper tells him its lucky because he has sold twelve cats this week.
He didn't have any Monet, to buy Degas, to make his Van Gogh.
Teacher: Why did you submit a blank sheet?
Student: That's a cow in the field.
Teacher: Field? Where's the grass?
Student: The cow ate it.
Teacher: Then, where's the cow?
Student: There's no grass left, you expect it to stay there..?
What do you call a quadriplegic that hangs on your wall?
Art.
What do you call a quadriplegic that lays on your porch?
Matt.
What do you call a quadriplegic that is in a hole?
Doug.
What do you call a quadriplegic in a ditch?
Phil.
What do you call a quadriplegic doing water ski jumps?
Skip.
What do you call a quadriplegic floating in the water?
Bob.
What do you call a quadriplegic playing in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
What do you call a quadriplegic inside of your mail box?
Bill.
But when I do it...I'm "wasted", and "have to leave Home Depot".
Hamburger and fries, please.
One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
A couple at an art gallery see a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.
She asks, "What are you waiting for?"
He replies, "Autumn."
There's a girl on my art course who never does any original work, she copies everything.
We call her Tracey.
Because it looks like Picasso painted you.
A Chinese guy sits down next to me. I ask him "hey, do you know karate or some other martial art"? He says "why, because I'm Asian"? I said "no, because you're drinking my beer".
He passed it with flying colors.
/heyo
A Instagram user walks into a #bar #pub #brewery #happyhour #bigplace #beer #night #party #fun #photography #conceptual #art #drink #peperoni #olives #lights #table #chair #followme
A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers " I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
After a few drinks, the dad jumps up onto a table and starts reciting quotes from Shakespeare to his wife. The wife joins in, and responds with, "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Then they dramatically kiss, as the whole pub stops and watches.
The son lifts his face from his palms and says, "Please... mum, dad... you're making a scene".
taking the art out of rap artist
If you take a dump on someone's door mat, ring the bell and run away - it's an installation. If you ring the bell and then take a dump - it's a performance.
We disagreed on whether I ordered curly fries or mozzarella sticks with my burger
There was too many frames.
I think you should too.
Framed
Your assignment was to produce a piece containing exactly 20,000 dots, my Art teacher said, but I only see one. They're on top of each other. I explained.
Art? I choked.
When I do it, I'm drunk and told to leave Home Depot.
More on this as the story unfolds.
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
Art.
That same guy in your pool? Bob
Same guy in your hot tub? Stew
Sitting under your car that's missing a wheel? Jack
Same guy on your porch? Matt
Same guy getting hit with a baseball bat? Homer
Same guy lying in a pile of leaves? Russel
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen
Chinese girl with the same condition? Irene.
Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.
I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.
He said, Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I'm Chinese?!
No it's because you're drinking MY beer!
Nobody asked me to.
>!I think they're making ceramic bowls.!<
I'm really learning a lot. This painter named 'Renaissance' is just amazing.
Because Judo was already taken.
A young painter is exhibiting his work for the first time, and a famous art critic is in attendance.
The critic has a look around and then finds the artist, saying to him: "Do you want my opinion on your art?"
The artist of course says "yes"
The critic replies "it's worthless"
"I know. But tell me anyway."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the art louvre jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working art artistic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.