Art Jokes
136 art jokes and hilarious art puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about art that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these hilarious art jokes for teachers, students, and middle schoolers alike. From jokes about painting, to puns about artists like Monet, there are plenty of silly and creative art jokes to enjoy.
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Funniest Art Short Jokes
Short art jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The art humour may include short artist jokes also.
- Bad news: a message in German sent 110 years ago by homing pigeon was just found. Worse news: it was an acceptance letter to art school.
- I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture. It was called Electronic Arts.
- I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers... Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.
- A person with an art degree walks into a bar. They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.
- What's the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a philosophy Major? One will ask WHY you want fries with that!
- I heard starbucks is trying to hire a lot more refugees Those poor art majors are going to suffer, then
- Don't you just hate it when med students call themselves doctors? I mean you don't see engineering students calling themselves engineers or arts students calling themselves baristas
- What's this "✌"? A Roman ordering 5 more beers.
joke by Art Pozner. He told me I could take it with me, and in his honor, you can take it with you. - My dad bought himself a new hearing aid. "It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."
"Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"
"Two-thirty." - A science graduate asks the question why? A science graduate asks the question why?
An engineering graduate asks the question how?
An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
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Art One Liners
Which art one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with art? I can suggest the ones about painter and culinary.
- r kelly is really changing the rap game
He takes the art out of rap artist - How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!
- What do you call an amputee trying to do karate? Partial Arts.
- Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum? Too many frames.
- I accidentally bought too many art supplies I'm having an excess stencil crisis.
- What did the Arts Major say to the Business Major? "Can I take your order?"
- How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza
- What was the seal's favorite subject in school? ART ART ART!
- I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil. It wasn't 2B.
- Why are Subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"? Even art majors deserve recognition
- Why was "Art of the Deal" so long? It had six Chapter 11s.
- What do you call someone with no legs doing Karate? Partial Arts.
- Kamikaze It's a dying art
- What do you call an amputee learning karate? Partial arts
- How do you get an art major off your doorstep? Pay for your pizza.
Painting Art Jokes
Here is a list of funny painting art jokes and even better painting art puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was once in an art gallery once looking at a painting of Margaret Thatcher in a bikini ... a security guard wandered over to me and said sir you can't wear that in here
- Are you a work of art? Because it looks like Picasso painted you.
- What type of art is the favorite of the US Military? Oil paintings
- A real Picasso painting declared a forgery by a fake authenticator... ...is art officially artificial according to an artificial art official.
- People ask why I never finish my paintings I remind them I am a black belt in partial arts!
- I was walking around an art gallery with my wife. "Does anything in this room get you excited?" she said, with a cheeky wink.
I said, "Yes, some of the paintings." - A friend of mine is convinced that Van Gogh painted the Mona Lisa. I just don't have the 'art to correct him.
- I don't like to use painting softwares Because it is Electronic Arts
- There's a new category of art where people paint babies who died in childbirth. Still life.
- Why did a man paint a bullseye for the Louvre? Because he liked d'arts.
Art Major Jokes
Here is a list of funny art major jokes and even better art major puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I vandalized an art major's car today. Removing pizza delivery signs is surprisingly easy.
- What has four wheels and can't support a family? A liberal arts major.
I lied about the wheels. - What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC? One has a job.
- An engineer major asks... "How can we build this?"
A business major asks, "How can we finance this?"
A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that?" - What's the difference between a homeless person and an art major? About $4.32 in change.
- What is the difference between a philosophy major and a liberal arts major? One will ask WHY you need fries with that!
- What's a Liberal Arts Major's Favorite Board Game?...... Trivial Pursuit.
- What did the Arts major say to the Science major? Do you want fries with that?
- What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family.
- What do liberal arts majors yell when overwhelmed? Oh,the humanities!
Art School Jokes
Here is a list of funny art school jokes and even better art school puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you get an art school graduate off your porch? Pay for the pizza.
- Emergency measures On behalf of the international community, as a humanitarian measure, we demand that President Putin be admitted to art school on an emergency basis.
- What do you get if you cross a non-violent Indian with an anti-Semitic art school reject and a wizard? Gandolf
- Why did the hospital send all the nurses to art school So they could learn how to draw blood
- Why did Iron Man go to a magnet school? I don't know, he must be exceptionality talented in arts or something...
- Is going to art school worth it? Nein.
- Give a man a burger in school. He will ask some red paint from the art major
- What did the seal go to school for? Art art art!
- I had an art teacher in school who didn't believe in deodorant boy was he an aroma to be around
- My pop wants me to be a sheep farmer, just like him. But I need a break from the farm, I want to go to art school. It would be a bas relief.
Art Museum Jokes
Here is a list of funny art museum jokes and even better art museum puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away.... A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers " I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
- Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum? Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
- Two art theives were going about their business at an art museum. One said to the other, "Grab the Monet and let's Gogh."
- Did you hear about the magician who made an entire art gallery disappear? Now museum, now you don't
- I had a dream I was in a part of the US that was filled with nothing but museums. It was State of the Art.
- The art museum didn't like the box of Tampax I submitted... especially after I told them it was a period piece.
- When the curator of The British Museum was asked how they felt about exotic & foreign art exhibitions, he replied... We could take them or leave them
- My friend hates his job at the art museum. He only does it for the Monet.
- What did the art museum do when their LEGO exhibit was inadvertently destroyed? They were distraught, but eventually they picked up the pieces and moved on.
- I recently took a trip to learn more about Greek culture and to gain a greater appreciation of their amazing works of art and architecture. The British museum is a really cool place.
Hilarious Fun Art Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about art you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sculpture jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make art pranks.
A young artist exhibits his work for the first time...
.. and a well known art critic is in attendance.
The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"
"Yes, " says the artist.
"It's worthless," says the critic
The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
-Sure.
-It's pretty much worthless.
-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.
Having invented a time machine I'm going to do the art world a favor
I'm going to make sure Adolf h**... never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.
A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.
The teacher says, "What's this?"
The kid says, "A picture of a cow eating grass."
The teacher asks, "Where's the grass?"
The kid says, "The cow ate it all."
"Ok, then where's the cow?"
"It left because there was no more grass."
Sure... when Miley Cyrus gets n**... and licks a hammer it's "s**..." and "art"
But when I do it I'm "drunk" and need to "get out of Home Depot"
What grades did h**... get in art school?
Not C's
Martial arts
The Israelis developed Krav Maga - the art of disabling an opponent as quickly as possible.
The Japanese developed Jujitsu - the art of defeating an armed and armored opponent.
The Brazilians developed Capoeira - the art of defeating an opponent using dance and acrobatics.
The French developed parkour - the art of running away as quickly and efficiently as possible.
An Englishman, Frenchman and a Soviet go to an art exhibition.
They come to a marble bust of Adam and Eve. The Englishman says "Look at their calm repose, their stiff upper lip. They must have been English."
The Frenchman says "Look at their nakedness, their natural artistic beauty. They must have been French."
The Soviet goes "No no. They have no food, no water, no clothes and no shelter, and they're told they live in a Paradise. They're obviously Russian!"
Joke best told with very bad accents
A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.
The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're n**..., so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? They're clearly Russian!"
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery
They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.
"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."
"They are n**... and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.
The Russian speaks up, "no clothes, no shelter, no bed, they have only an apple between them, and they're told this is paradise. They are certainly Russian."
Give an Eevee a Water Stone and it turns into Vaporeon. Give an Eevee a Fire Stone and it turns into Flareon.
Give an Eevee a couple dollars every month for their art project and it turns into Patreon.
What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student?
A philosophy student asks you *why* you want fries with that.
A time traveler meets Adolf h**... in a bar
Instead of trying to kill him and mess up the timeline he instead sits down to have a drink with h**....
The time traveler looked at h**... and asked So how are you doing?
Pretty terrible, I just got kicked out of art school.
Well that s**..., you'll probably land on your feet though.
Yea you're right, but you want to know what I hate?
Let me guess, Jews?
Well, now that you mention it…
How do you make an art student's car go faster?
Just remove the huge Dominoes sign on top!
Why did the art thief's vehicle run out of gas?
He had no Monet,
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh.
I visited an art gallery.
"Absolutely gorgeous, don't you think?" I asked the fellow next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey...the way the colours intertwine. Truly beautiful."
He slowly stepped away from the u**... and left.
Art Thief
An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.
He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"
The thief replies:
"I did not have the Monet
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh"
A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.
The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're n**..., so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? ...They're clearly Russian!"
(Whole thing done in thick fake accents)
When Miley Cyrus gets n**... and licks a sledgehammer it's art and music
But when I do it I'm drunk and ruining the wedding
I've just finished my time machine, and the first thing I'm going to do...
...you know, I'm sick of all these t**... paintings by Adolf h**..., I'm going to go back and make sure he never gets into art college.
I was at an art gallery.
"Absolutely beautiful, isn't it?" I asked the guy next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey. The way the colours intertwine. Truly remarkable."
He stepped away from the u**... and left.
What's the difference between an art student and a park bench?
A bench can support a family.
The Sistine Chapel ceiling may not be the greatest work of art ever, but
it's definitely up there.
What do you say to an art student with a job?
"Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese"
Art Thief
A mastermind thief infiltrates The Louvre and steals several paintings. He loads them all into his van and drives off. A few blocks away, his van breaks down. When the police arrive on the scene, one of the officers asks the mastermind how something like this could happen if he was so smart. The mastermind replies with "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
What's a seal's favorite class?
Art art art :)
Don't forget capital letters...
In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse, and helping your uncle j**... a horse."
I went to an art contest recently...
It ended in a draw.
What is the difference between an art student and a dead baby?
The dead baby can feed a family of four.
A picture worth millions
A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $1,500 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. And I think she could be right."
Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you & your secretary."
So an Italian man and a Greek man we're arguing over which of their countries was the better one...
...and they eventually got to the topic of s**.... The Greek, feeling as though had would clearly win with his next point, stated very boldly, "Oh yea? Well, we Greeks invented the art of s**...!"
Without skipping a beat, the Italian replied, "True, but *we* invented s**... with women!"
A person with a science degree asks "why does it work?" A person with an engineering degree asks: "how does it work?" A person with an accounting degree asks: "how much does it cost?" A person with an art degree asks:
"do you want fries with that?"
What do you call a teacher that doesn't f**... in public?
A private tutor (tooter)
Heard it from a guy on the street selling newspapers in front of the art institute in chicago.
Quadriplegic jokes I've gathered from over the years.
What do you call a quadriplegic that hangs on your wall?
Art.
What do you call a quadriplegic that lays on your porch?
Matt.
What do you call a quadriplegic that is in a hole?
Doug.
What do you call a quadriplegic in a ditch?
Phil.
What do you call a quadriplegic doing water ski jumps?
Skip.
What do you call a quadriplegic floating in the water?
Bob.
What do you call a quadriplegic playing in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
What do you call a quadriplegic inside of your mail box?
Bill.
An artist lives next to a Marsh.
Twice a week, he goes out and collects the clam shells in the marsh to use in his art. One day, he visits a fellow artist and the two compare their works as usual. Suddenly, a gang of bandits breaks into the house to steal art, but before anyone else could react the first artist launches a furious flurry of kicks and punches that quickly incapacitates all the robbers.
"Incredible!" Goes his friend, "I never realised you were so well trained in combat!"
"Well you should," the first artist replied, "considering you already know I am a marsh shell artist."
A critic goes to an art gallery and finds the artist of the pieces there.
Critic: "Would you like to know what I think of your art?"
Artist: "Oh, yes please"
Critic: "It's useless"
Artist: "I know, but I would still like to hear it. "
What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink?
Sprite.
An art collector walks by a shop and sees a stray cat drinking from a dish that looks very valuable.
The art collector asks the shop keeper if he could buy the cat.
The shop keeper tells him he can have it for $10.
The art collector asks if he could get the dish as well because the cats already familiar with it.
The shop keeper tells him he can't have it because its his lucky dish.
The art collector asks why it is lucky.
The shop keeper tells him its lucky because he has sold twelve cats this week.
An Art Thief is Sitting in His Driveway...
He didn't have any Monet, to buy Degas, to make his Van Gogh.
In Art Class...
Teacher: Why did you submit a blank sheet?
Student: That's a cow in the field.
Teacher: Field? Where's the grass?
Student: The cow ate it.
Teacher: Then, where's the cow?
Student: There's no grass left, you expect it to stay there..?
When Miley Cyrus gets n**... and licks a hammer..it's "art" and "music".
But when I do it...I'm "wasted", and "have to leave Home Depot".
Here's my complete guide on the art of Trolling:
I hate it when engineering students call themselves "Engineer"
you don't see med students calling themselves doctor, or art students calling themselves unemployed.
What do you say to someone with a degree in art?
Hamburger and fries, please.
Art Gallery n**...
A couple at an art gallery see a picture of a n**... woman with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.
She asks, "What are you waiting for?"
He replies, "Autumn."
What's the difference between origami and a grandpa passing wind?
One is the art of the fold, the other, the f**... of the old.
My friend is called Art so i asked his father what is Art short for?
His dad said it's because he has little legs
Nothing Original
There's a g**... my art course who never does any original work, she copies everything.
We call her Tracey.
I went to my favorite bar last night.
A Chinese guy sits down next to me. I ask him "hey, do you know karate or some other martial art"? He says "why, because I'm Asian"? I said "no, because you're drinking my beer".
How well did Jackson p**... do in art class?
He passed it with flying colors.
/heyo
Earth without art
Is just, Eh
A Instagram user walks into a bar...
A Instagram user walks into a #bar #pub #brewery #happyhour #bigplace #beer #night #party #fun #photography #conceptual #art #drink #peperoni #olives #lights #table #chair #followme
A mum, dad and their son walk into a pub.
After a few drinks, the dad jumps up onto a table and starts reciting quotes from Shakespeare to his wife. The wife joins in, and responds with, "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Then they dramatically kiss, as the whole pub stops and watches.
The son lifts his face from his palms and says, "Please... mum, dad... you're making a scene".
I bought my wife a brand new state of the art fridge for her birthday.
I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
R Kelly
taking the art out of rap artist
What Book Has Four Chapter 11's?
Trump: The Art of the Deal
I had a heated discussion with an art historian yesterday
We disagreed on whether I ordered curly fries or mozzarella sticks with my burger
